Welcome To Bear's Dog House

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BEAR

Bear

I am a Chow Chow
I was born 10/19/1988
Check out my Purple Tongue!

Purple Tongue


"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"
   ~ Graucho Marx



Dog Humor:
A three-legged dog walks
into a saloon in the Old West.
He sidles up to the bar and announces:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

"If you pick up a starving dog
and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you;

That is the principal difference
between a dog and a man."
   ~Mark Twain

Resting Comfortably
Bear Passed Away
July 20, 2000





Things We Could Learn from Dogs

1.*Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2.*Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3.*When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4.*When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5.*Let others know when they have invaded your territory.
6.*Take naps and stretch before rising.
7.*Run, romp, and play daily.
8.*Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9.*Be loyal.
10.*Never pretend to be something you're not.
11.*If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12.*When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
13.*Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14.*Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15.*On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
16.*When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17.*Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
18.*No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout.
    Run right back and make friends.

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Chow Chow

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JPM


Smart Dog

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be waited on.

A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said, "Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.

The dog then walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher took out the appropriate amount of money and tied two packages of meat around the dog's neck.

The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. Paws

It walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in. As the owner opened the door, the man said to the owner, "That's a really smart dog you have there."

The owner said, "He's not really all that smart. This is the second time this week he forgot his key."

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At the Vet's

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.

The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black lab. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man. "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."

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Bear
Bear at Home

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you anytime,
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when,
     through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,

Then, my friend, you are ALMOST as good as your dog.

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Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats

11. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you.
10. Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.
9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

How To Wash The Cat

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