• Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
• Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
• A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.
• People Do Not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
• When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... even your heart!
• Only 7% of the population are lefties.
• 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
• Babies are born without knee caps They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
• The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
• The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
• The average housefly lives for one month.
• 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
• A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
• The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
• Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
• A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
• How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• A bus station is where a bus stops
  A train station is where a train stops
  On my desk I have a work station.....
• Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• I must always remember that I am unique... Just like everyone else.
• I think everyone has a photographic memory: its just that some of us are out of film
• I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
• I don't have a solution but I admire your problem.

WARSAW (AP) - A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

Hmmmmmm

* After a long day on the course, the exasperated golfer turned to his caddie and said, "You must be the worst caddie in the world."

"No, I don't think so," said the caddie. "That would be too much of a coincidence."

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• A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. What?
• The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
• Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
• All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
• "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
• 26 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
• Almonds are members of the peach family.
• Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
• Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
• There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
• The longest place-name still in use is
  Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiw en uakita natahu, a New Zealand hill.
• Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."
• A cat has 32 muscles in each ear
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
• In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
• The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
• The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
• When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.
• The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"
• A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
• A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
• On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
• The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
• Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.
• The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away.
• In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
• The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."
• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
• Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
• John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
• To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.
• Stewardesses and reverberated are the two longest words (12 letters each) that can be typed using only the left hand. The longest word that can be typed using only the right hand is lollipop. Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands.
• The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two definitions which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
• The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.
• The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
• Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."
• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why not.
• The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.
• San Francisco cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
• The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
• Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
• Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."
• Camel's milk does not curdle.
• In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
• Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.
• The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
• Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.
• All porcupines float in water.
• The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
• Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
• Texas is the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.
• When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.
• The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
  Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
• The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month.
• The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
• There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
• Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
• Roger Ebert is the only film critic to have ever won the Pulitzer prize.
• Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
• Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
• An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
• Back in the mid to late 80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.
• The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
• Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
• It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.
• In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
• Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
• The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
• If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
• Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
• No NFL team which plays it's home games in a domed stadium won a Super bowl until 2000 (St. Louis Rams).
• The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".
• In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured
• Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.
• The only two days of the year in which there are no North American professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
• The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
• Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.
• Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
• Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
• Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.
• Cancer is second to heart disease, the leading cause of death in the U.S
• Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
• 300,000 Americans are killed each year in hospitals.
• The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
• Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
• 1.4% of all deaths in the U.S each year are suicides
• Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
• The average lifespan of an MD is only 58 years.
• In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
• Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
• Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. Meooooooow!
  
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