VPC Limerick Contest, the Sequel

There once was a paddler from Kent
Who capsized wherever he went
From bottom to top
He just couldn't stop
Til all of his energy was spent

There once was a paddler from Calais
Who filled his boat up with hay.
When asked why this stuff
He'd reply, rather gruff,
"It keeps the horse who's steering my boat at bay."

I'll give ye a fine bit o' prattle
Wright Hartman, he uses one paddle
C-1 is his boat
Down rivers he'll float
I've said it, now I'll just ski-daddle

There is a sweet river you should see.
It's pool/drop, class III/IV, the Mettawee.
But take cortisone,
when on shore alone,
those green plants are all poison ivy!

Ray Ingram, he's real great
For his Fiddlehead slalom, I can't wait
He always needs volunteers
However not in arears
So call him now, don't hesitate!

After the long winter we've had
For some rain, I'd be glad
The ice would break up
I could fill up my cup
On the Lamoille, the West, and the Mad.

When whitewater season abounds
We paddle through low-lying towns
Raining or sunny
Bank-full or bony
Primordial yearning resounds

Then Eric and I run the Browns
State troopers advise: "Don't be clowns
"With water aplenty
"It won't be too funny
"If one of you idiots drowns."

Downriver boats haplessly bounce
Through deep snow we sheepishly trounce
Once home we say: "Honey,
"No insurance money."
And to our surprise get -- no frowns!

There's no camping this year at the West.
But the paddling will still be the best.
So just sleep in your van,
Or where ever you can,
Just don't miss out on this annual fest.

(free beer if you can recite this at the take out
below the bridge into the park. Don't forget to vote!)

On a warm sunny day in May
I'll grab all my gear and go play
There will be friends, both new and old
The water will not be too cold
And I will play and I'll play and play!

Happy I am that it is raining at last
Hopefully the rivers will fill up fast

I have been singing the same old song
"It has been so dry for so long"

Now I can put that in the past, paddle real fast, and hope you don't find me crashed!

Through ice water our kayaks deliver
A spectacle that makes the crowd shiver
They think we are crazy
But certainly not lazy
"Look, the dummies are paddling up river!"

As I sit here thinking and writing
The state bird, the black fly is biting

It attacks me and sucks out my blood
All I can think of is the next flood

So I can get in my boat and go capsizing and righting

There once was a lass from Shelburne
All those around her she spurned
Her wealth she did wield like a warrior's shield
Alas it was for friends that she yearned.

A paddler who was from Nantucket
Had to bail his boat out with a bucket,
He said, "What a no-brainer!"
"I stared at the strainer,"
"But stupidly, I tried to duck it!"

Once I went to a picnic
And I took my friend Nick with
But some very large ants
Being finished with the tents
And all the food; they picked Nick.

/It's a very sad end
being eaten by an ant../
c. 15. nov. 2001

There was a new 'yaker from WarrenShe smiled when she saw it was pourin'The rain it a-fellThe 'yaker could tellThe run would be far, far from borin'

Bluewater Network are commies
whining for their mommies
to take away our toys
from the girls and the boys

There once was a paddler from Milton,
Who gave up due to all of the tiltin'.
Cause if he wants to tip,
He'll go on a trip,
And stay dry at somebody's Hilton.

There once was a man who drank beer
When some class five rapids were near
He got out of his boat
And decided to float
And thought, "I'll use this here bottle to steer!"

He wasn't just swimming for fun
But for the college girls lying in the sun
He thought he'd impress
And then they'd undress
So much slower do drunk minds run!

When he waved, he thought, "Woe is me!"
As they laughed at what they did see,
"That guy is a jerk!"
"His roll needs some work."
"He's sure not with VPC!"