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Krusty The Clown

Krusty The Clown

534 Center St.
Springfield, U.S.A.

Born Herschel Schmoeckel Krustofski

Backround:

The Krustofski family first set foot in this great land of ours when Grandpa Zed Krustofski set sail for Ellis Island in 1902. Born the son of a Rabbi years later, his chosen profession brought shame to his family name and he was cast out and disowned by his father. His mother had a child by another man, who later became known as Fox star, Luke Perry. Plagued with an unsatisfying family life, Krusty found fame and fortune through a variety comedy show and a dynasty market known as Krustylu.
He started his own fast food chain and summer camp; and has no real control over any of them. He also sang in Farm Aid. Krusty is a lover of pornography (32 cartons) and an ameteur pilot (his plane: the "I'm-on-a-rolla Gay").
After years of illitericy, during which he was a leader in the promotion of the literacy of children, it seems that Krusty has finally mastered the pen.
He had a brief stint in a sitcom entitled, President Clown. It didn't do very well. Krusty is a stonecutter and has a superfluous nipple.

Krusty also has a serious gambling problem; he even bets on opera. This problem has put him into debt multiple times and even pormted him to start a Klown Kollege.

Although Krusty never remembers Bart when he meets him, he owes a lot to the boy.
  • Bart proved Krusty's innocence in the unfortunate Kwik-E-Mart robbery;
  • Reunited him with his father;
  • Revived his carreer from the grave when Gabbo stole his audience;
  • Brought the ratings to new heights with his catch phrase, "I didn't do it!"

Krusty® Brand Products

  • Krusty's Multi-phasic Personality Test
  • The Dr. Krusty Balloon-Animal Home Angioplasmy kit
  • Krusty's Vita-Glow Radiant Spring Water (Bottled in cooperation with the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant)
  • Krusty Brand Atomic Particle Accelerator
  • Chef Krusty's Brunch-IN-A-Can (All-U-Can-Drink Powdered Champagne Included)
  • Krusty's Home Pregnancy Test. warning: may result in birth defects
  • Kamp Krusty: The Krustiest Place On Earth
  • Imitation Gruel: 9/10 orphans can't tell the difference
  • Vitamins: side effects may include a rapid heartbeat
  • Calculator*
    *note: Krusty® brand calculator contains no 7 or 8

Links:

The original Krusty the Clown Page