Bubba Does Bandera

When Bubba went down to that Hill Country ranch
He was all by his lonesome each night.
So one night he drove into town just perchance
That the locals might treat him all right.

A honky-tonk stood a block north of the square
And the music was blarin' real loud.
So Bubba decided to try his luck there
'Cause the racket was drawin' a crowd.

The place was a-buzz with the cowboys and girls
Bubba surveyed the room with a glance.
The ceiling and walls were all plastered with swirls
And the floor had enough room to dance.

The air was awash with the smell of stale beer
And the carpet was sticky in places.
But nevertheless the place shouted "Good cheer!"
Even though the room lacked certain graces.

Then Bubba caught sight of some people he'd met
There were several young men and some gals.
And none of them there were his enemies yet,
Though he couldn't quite say they were pals.

He ordered a beer and then sat down to chat
With a girl sittin' in the first chair.
He asked her to dance and she turned him down flat
And he wondered just why she was there.

The gals were all lookin' like they'd like to dance
But they'z 'fraid of the way it might look
If they gathered their skirts up and just took a chance
But no chances is just what they took.

He asked one by one, but they said they'd "sit out". 
They just sat there as silent as mourners.
And once in a while he could hear a loud shout
Some guy yellin' "Eight ball in the corner!"

But fin'lly he got to the prettiest girl
And he steeled himself for the "No, thanks!".
But, standin' right up, she brushed back a small curl
And the dancers had two in their ranks.

She moved like a cat and just might well have been
A contortionist, she was so supple.
Sure seemed like she'z havin' some fun (from her grin)
As they two-stepped around other couples.

When the music had stopped they walked back to her chair
And ol' Bubba was sure glad to see
That he'd found that at least there was one dancer there
Then the girl to her left said "Please, me?"

She wasn't as good as the first girl had been
But she seemed to have just as much fun.
The glow on her face and the tilt of her chin
Made him smile till the music was done.

And then it cascaded.  They all want to try.
Bubba two-stepped and waltzed 'em around.
He'd thought at the first that the well had gone dry,
But from then on, he never sat down.

Now, Bubba's no legend (as most folks would say).
He just tries to have fun every night.
But if you're around him when he starts to play
You're advised to hang on extra tight.

Before the place closed, he was lookin' beneath
Drops of sweat that were stainin' his hat
And all they remembered was flashing white teeth
Like the grin of that famed Cheshire cat.

Bob Badger 3-25-97