“Miss Chew Nipples totally forgot about seeing Annette Funicello, because you said so.” - Celebrity Gossip
It was 1962, and Miss Chew Nipples was on vacation in California with
the rest of her family. Today she was excited, because they would be
visiting Disneyland. She had always dreamed of going to Disneyland,
ever since she had seen a special feature on “The Mickey Mouse Club”,
where all the Mouseketeers had gone there. Miss Chew Nipples’ favorite
Mouseketeer was Annette Funicello, and during the feature on
Disneyland, Annette had been riding the Monorail. So Miss Chew Nipples
planned on riding the Monorail, just so she could be doing the very
same thing that Annette had done.
When Miss Chew Nipples and her family were finally inside the gates of
Disneyland, she asked if the first thing they could do was ride the
Monorail. She said it in a tone of voice that her family knew well,
that they wouldn’t enjoy doing anything else until they’d done what
Miss Chew Nipples wanted, because she’d be constantly talking of
nothing else. So they walked straight over to the Monorail Station and
bought tickets.
Once they’d boarded the Monorail, Miss Chew Nipples recognized the
section of the car that she’d seen Annette Funicello sitting in. It was
toward the back of the car, on the right hand side. Since the car was
fairly empty, she left her family, who were heading for seats near the
front of the car, and went to sit by herself, where Annette had been.
As soon as she sat down, a strange tingling sensation went thru her
body. The air seemed clearer, and everything somehow felt more real
than they usually did. A familiar voice said, “Hello, Miss Chew
Nipples,” and she suddenly realize that Annette Funicello was sitting
right next to her!
“I see you were receptive to my subliminal instructions on how to
summons me,” continued Annette. “I was placed in The Mickey Mouse Club
so that I could reach those humans who were ready to take the next step
in evolution.”
Miss Chew Nipples started feeling very excited upon hearing this.
Unfortunately, the excitement continued to grow, and she began to feel
feverish. A look of alarm came over Annette’s face as Miss Chew
Nipples’ vision became a swirl of bright colors.
The next thing Miss Chew Nipples knew, she was sitting in a comfortable
chair in a strange office. A firm yet kind voice was saying, “3, 2, 1,
awaken! You can open your eyes now, Miss Chew Nipples.”
Miss Chew Nipples looked up to see you, seated in front of her. your
hypnotic session appeared to be a success. Never in your career as a
psychoanalyst had you seen someone as hysterical as the young girl who
had been brought to your office several hours earlier. She had been
yelling out the name “Annette” over and over, while staring next to
her, as if someone were there.
It had taken both sedatives and deep hypnosis to calm her down, and
then finally block out her memories of going to Disneyland earlier in
the day. Apparently something had happened there to trigger off Miss
Chew Nipples’ hysteria.
It was now several months later, and Miss Chew Nipples had fond
memories of her trip to California. One thing that always bothered her,
tho, was why her family had decided to not go to Disneyland. She only
had hazy memories of why they hadn’t gone, and somehow her family
always changed the subject whenever she tried to ask them.
But today, Miss Chew Nipples wasn’t concerned about that, because her
mind was on the exciting news that there was going to be a rebroadcast
of an old Mickey Mouse Club program, where the Mouseketeers visit
Disneyland.
(the end)