BOVINE READING MATERIAL
presented by Bovine Productions

The following are finished writings, for your reading pleasure. If you enjoy writing stories, along with (or even instead of) reading them, we have set up a special page dedicated to unfinished stories, which you're invited to add on to. As usual, enjoyment is a higher priority than talent, so if the frustrated author within you is now jumping in excitement, click here for UNFINISHED STORIES. Or if you don't like stories that end, you might enjoy just reading them. Otherwise, continue down this page, to read reading material approved by Bovine Productions!

• LANCE AND THE GIANT, GREEN, FIRE-BREATHING SEA SERPENT COSTUME by Randy Fairbanks
• THE EXCITING ADVENTURES OF SALLYMAE HOGSBY by KC
• AMANDA'S RIDING LESSON by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE UNEXCITING MISADVENTURES OF SALLYJUNE PIGSBY by KC & DanKitti
• DREAM #030407 by Tom Daly
• Music Review: HANDEL'S MESSIAH by Ellen Miz Ellen
• ROSE-COLORED GLASSES by Craig Conley
• THE PACKER by Ellen Miz Ellen
• A LITTLE CATNAP by Just Plain Sue
• FIVE DREAMS FROM 2006 by DanKitti
• SASHA & THE GRATEFUL DEAD by KC
• PHILLIPPE JARROUSKY - ANOTHER STAR COUNTERTENOR? by Ellen Miz Ellen
• SEVEN DANKITTI DREAMS by DanKitti
• TRAITEURVILLE FARM FUN SHOW by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE NEW VENTRILOQUISM STORE by Randy Fairbanks
• MY OZ DREAM by DanKitti
• HOW TO MEET THE NEIGHBORS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• DREAM #040614 by Tom Daly
• NOZO by Tire
• POSTCARD FROM THE MIDDLE - THE TREE TRIMMER by Ellen Miz Ellen
• TALULAH DELIGHT by KC, Karen H & Karen V
• A KEEPER by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE & HIS PACT WITH SATAN by Randy Fairbanks
• PAULA AT "LA VACHE QUI RIT" by KC
• DOG OF THE MOMENT by KC, TNT, Harry H Conover, Meyer Kalin, Dan D. Chaon, MCB, and Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE STUPID FAMILY by Tire
• PRUNELLA AND THE WATERMELON FESTIVAL by DanKitti & KC
• RALPH COULDN'T WAIT by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE IMPOSTOR THAT TRIED TO STEAL HIS IDENTITY by Randy Fairbanks
• BODIES IN TIME by Dan Fioretti & KC
• TALEGATE OF TWO TRUCKS  by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE MONORAIL by KC
• POSTCARD FROM THE MIDWEST: SUDDEN STORMS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE TAIWAN 12 by Tire
• LANCE AND THE ADVENTURES OF HIS RESTLESS SHADOW by Randy Fairbanks
• THE 7 STAGES OF VACATION PREPAREDNESS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• MARY HAYHEM by Catfish & KC
• MY DREAM OF KC'S APARTMENT by DanKitti
• POSTCARD FROM ST. LOUIS - FIRE & A FREAK OF LUCK  by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE SPACE ALIEN THAT THIRSTED FOR KNOWLEDGE by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE ALIEN by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks fan
• SAMMY'S BRIEF CAREER AS A BLOODHOUND  by Ellen Miz Ellen
• PIZZAMAN, PANKO - AS WAGE EARNER by B. Srahka
• THE MERRY COW by KC, Dan Fioretti, and Ellen Miz Ellen
• POSTCARD FROM ST. LOUIS - CARDINAL MADNESS  by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND HIS DEBILITATING GUMMI CANDY HABIT by Randy Fairbanks
• THE PINK HOUSE by Catfish & KC
• FRED & BARNEY GO BOWLING by Dan Fioretti
• WAYWARD POPCORN - THE BIBLICAL VERSES by Ellen Miz Ellen & KC
• LANCE AND HIS ATTEMPT TO CONTROL OTHERS THROUGH HYPNOSIS by Randy Fairbanks
• POSTCARD FROM ST. LOUIS - PRESIDENTIAL TRIPPING  by Ellen Miz Ellen
• CAROL'S CARROTS by KC
• LANCE AND HIS RECURRING VANISHING PANTS DREAM by Randy Fairbanks
• CAMPING UNDER PINE TREES by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND HIS PANTS by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks Fan
• THE HEART MAN by Rob, Paul, Becky & Jamie
• THE CLUSTERBEAKIE MAN by Rob, Paul, Becky & Jamie's Evil Twins
• 2004 - A HAPPY YEAR FOR THE LOVER OF OFFBEAT SPORTS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• CHARLES WINS A TRIP by KC
• A TALE OF TWO OPERAS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE BIG TELEKINESIS SHOW by Randy Fairbanks
• CROCODILE SAGA by KC & Catfish
• LANCE AND THE INCREDIBLE, DEATH-DEFYING BLOCKHEAD by Randy Fairbanks
• KIMBERLY & HER FLUTE by KC
• VERBAL POSTCARD FROM ST. LOUIS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND ECNAL by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND ECNAL by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks Fan
• THE RAMONA RAT STORY by Dan Fioretti & KC
• ART ON THE SQUARE by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE BLACK CAT THAT JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN by Randy Fairbanks
• ST. LOUIS CLIMATE NOTES by Ellen Miz Ellen
• DUCK DINNER by KC & Catfish
• LANCE AND THE LIVING COSTUME by Randy Fairbanks
• POSTCARD FROM THE MIDWEST: HARRY POTTER VI by Ellen Miz Ellen
• BRIDGE & TV by KC
• LANCE AND THE DEVIL'S CANDY by Randy Fairbanks
• STORY WITH A PLOT by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND HIS TELEPATHIC FRIENDSHIP by Randy Fairbanks
• BULLFROG by KC
• LANCE AND THE DUCKS WHO PRACTICED MIND CONTROL by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE DUCKS by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks fan
• lyrics to STELLA & HUMPO by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE SLEEPING BOY by Randy Fairbanks
• JOHNNY CRASH by Dan Fioretti, Catfish & KC
• LANCE AND THE INVISIBLE REALM: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE INVISIBLE REALM: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE INCREDIBLE BOOK by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks fan
• HOW WE DRIED OUT DAVID'S SLEEPING BAG by Ellen Miz Ellen
• RANDY'S CLAY MONSTER by KC
• LANCE AND THE LOST CITY by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND VENTRILOPOLIS by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks fan
• CHI-CHI'S ADVENTURE by Catfish & KC
• >&< (a short love story) by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE IDIOM CHILDREN by Tire
• A GLIMPSE OF ENLIGHTENMENT by Prabhu Padme
• LAUNDRY DAY INCITES THE CAT by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE HOUSE OF HORRORS by Randy Fairbanks
• A FAIRY TALE by Karen Hermann & KC
• ONE TOUGH MULE with commentary by Ellen Miz Ellen
• ELEPHANT SOUNDS by KC & Catfish
• LANCE AND THE DARK by Randy Fairbanks
• THE LAST EPISODE OF LAVERNE & SHIRLEY by Dan Fioretti
• HARP SHRAPNEL STRIKES TEN by Ellen Miz Ellen
• CHANGE OF PROFESSION by KC & Catfish
• LANCE AND THE MAN IN TATTERED CLOTHES: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE MAN IN TATTERED CLOTHES: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• GLENDON'S PHOTOGRAPHIC ESSAY by KC
• DUCT TAPE by Ellen Miz Ellen
• A LOW TECH SOLUTION by Ellen Miz Ellen
• I HEAR A SYMPHONY by KC
• LANCE AND THE BEAUTIFUL, BLACK BOX by Randy Fairbanks
• THE DUCKS OF CLARION by KC
• DON'T CALL HIM JOEY by Dan Fioretti
• LANCE AND THE BOY WHO DEMANDED MORE: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE BOY WHO DEMANDED MORE: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE BOY WHO DEMANDED MORE: PART 3 by Randy Fairbanks
• ELEVATOR PRANKS by KC & Catfish
• PUPPET MAN & PUPPET DOG: NO STRINGS ATTACHED by B. Srahka
• LANCE AND THE MIRACLE OF LIFE: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE MIRACLE OF LIFE: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE MIRACLE by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks Fan
• THE JELL-O THREAT by KC
• UPON COLLABORATING WITH KC by Ellen Miz Ellen
• MILK FROM COMPUTERS by KC & Catfish
• LANCE AND THE PRESSURES OF THE CHRISTMAS SEASON by Randy Fairbanks
• PRETZEL GIRL AND CHUCKIE-WUCKIE Dan Fioretti & KC
• THE CAPTAIN AND LUTICIA by KC, Catfish & B. Srahka
• LANCE AND THE POWERS OF THE UNKNOWN: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE POWERS OF THE UNKNOWN: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE SWITCH by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks Fan
• BODY PAINT by KC
• EPIC STORY by Ellen Miz Ellen
• LANCE AND THE TINY PEOPLE IN HIS EYES
• THE OLD COWby KC
• THE NEW MILKMAID by KC & Catfish
• LANCE AND THE DARK PRINCE OF COMEDY: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE DARK PRINCE OF COMEDY: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• lyrics to WALTZING WITH A COW by Ellen Miz Ellen
• PRELUDE TO HOTELL by B. Srahka
• LANCE AND THE ASTONISHING TRUTH ABOUT THE WEATHER: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE ASTONISHING TRUTH ABOUT THE WEATHER: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• BARNEY by KC
• FALL COLLECTIBLES by Beeg Srahka
• LANCE AND THE DOG WITH SHAGGY, BLACK HAIR: PART 1 by Randy Fairbanks
• LANCE AND THE DOG WITH SHAGGY, BLACK HAIR: PART 2 by Randy Fairbanks
• COW POLITICS by Catfish & KC
• REVIEW: "FLIGHT" by Ellen Miz Ellen
• DREAMS IN JASPER COUNTY by KC
• LANCE AND THE DRAG QUEEN by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks Fan
• SLUGFEST by KC & Catfish
• DAVID by Dan Fioretti
• LANCE AND THE ZOMBIES by Tire, a Randy Fairbanks Fan
• INEZ & THE HOG by KC
• LOSS OF A PET by Ellen Miz Ellen
• AGED EMOTIONS by B. Srahka
• DOCUMENTARY by Catfish & KC
• RUTH ANN LEARNS THE TRUTH by KC
• COUNTER-TENOR OLYMPICS by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THESE HAUGHTY (VOICED) BEAUTIES by Ellen Miz Ellen
• COUNTERTENOR FANATICS by Your Chicago Correspondent
• MIZ ELLEN VISITS THE OPERA by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE BRADLEY BUNCH by Dan Fioretti & KC
• SPIDERS TALK by Catfish & KC
• POSTCARD: RUDY SEES AN EMU by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE WRONG DOOR by Tire
• FUN WITH HAIR by KC
• lyrics to BOVINIA (The Bovinian National Anthem) by Ellen Miz Ellen
• THE GRIMLEYVILLE THEATRE CLUB by Dan Fioretti & KC
• THE NEPTUNIAN RECONFIGURATION by KC & Catfish