Herman Gets Hitched

The Incredible story of how two bananas so far apart became so close.

It was a dark and stormy night...Well actually it was kind of calm, no rain, and the moon was out, but those are just details. Herman and I were strolling down Pier 17, around the South Street Seaport, when this amazingly perfect woman walked by. We both stopped and stared...and yes it's true, she had the most beautiful bulge in her pocket! Herman's mouth dropped, he had to see for himself.

As you may or may not know, in order for Herman to see inside a woman's pants pocket, I have to start macking on her, and then casually explain the scenario..." No, no, it's not me....it's the banana in my pocket..." At that point I usually get slapped ( most women just don't understand ) This time it was different, she knew! I did not have to explain anything, I did not even have to mack on her ( I did, and eventually got slapped, but again...details)

Without me asking, the woman reached into her pocket and pulled out the most gorgeous looking piece of fruit we have ever seen. Herman almost fell out of my pocket! Once he regained his composure, the two of them started hitting it off. They took their own stroll by the Pier and came back almost an hour later...I am still not sure WHAT they were doing, but I am not about to ask...A banana has his own personal business, and who am I to interfere.

Needless to say, they were in love.

Following banana tradition, we set a date for them to be wed, one week from that day. This was not good enough for them, they wanted to be wed as soon as possible. The two of them hitched a plane to Vegas (they pretended they were produce, a perfect disguise...until that fat lady tried to eat Herman) So on

April 7th. 1998,

Herman joined peels in marriage with Hermanetta

What does Hermanetta look like? I knew you would all have this question, so I borrowed Herman's pictures to scan for you. I only have a few right now, because Herman had his stem covering the lens for half the roll... I guess the Proverb holds true: "never let a banana take your pictures for you"

Here is a Picture of Hermanetta from one of those High School photo shoots with the horribly fake backgrounds (personally, I think her eyes would have been brought out by the "laser" background, but it is too late for that now)

Isn't she per'dy?

I figured you would want to see the Wedding picture too, so I scanned one of the pictures from the "traditional" wedding we made them have the week after (The beautiful woman and I had already paid for everything, before they had skipped to Vegas)..(See Herman is a 90's kind of banana, he got me to pay for half the wedding...what happened to tradition?)

Herman and Hermanetta's "second" wedding / first reception

So, there you have it, Herman is hitched....I'm sorry to all you Herman lovers who wanted to be Herman's main squeeze.

But wait don't give up hope, check back to Herman's Heaven soon, because there is another surprise on the way! What is it? I can not tell you yet, but it should make all of you Herman lovers, who are heartbroken by this news, joyous again. Until then..."and they lived happily ever after"

Please leave Herman good words on his guestbook...for Pete's sake, congratulate the banana..he just got married!