Our Father who art in Heaven. . . .

YES?

Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. . . .

BUT YOU CALLED ME.

Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven....

THERE, YOU DID IT AGAIN.

Did what?

CALLED ME. YOU SAID, "OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN.." HERE I AM. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.

ALL RIGHT. GO ON.

Hallowed be thy name.

HOLD IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

By what?

BY "HALLOWED BE THY NAME."

It means....it means....good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? Its just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?

IT MEANS "HONORED," "HOLY," "WONDERFUL."

Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what "Hallowed" meant before. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

Sure, why not?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there.

HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?

Well, I go to church.

THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT THAT HABIT OF LUST YOU HAVE? AND YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY...... ALL ON YOURSELF. AND WHAT ABOUT THE KINDS OF BOOKS YOU READ?

Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those phonies at the church.

EXCUSE ME....I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU, FOR EXAMPLE.

Oh, all right! I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

SO COULD I.

I haven't thought about it until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I'd like to, you know, be really free.

GOOD, NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE'LL WORK TOGETHER.... YOU AND ME. NOW, SOME VICTORIES CAN TRULY BE WON. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

Look Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.... Give us this day our daily bread.

YOU NEED TO CUT DOWN ON THE BREAD TOO... YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT AS IT IS.

Hey, wait a minute! What is this, "Criticize Me Day?" Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.

PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU COULD WIND UP CHANGED YOU KNOW. THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO YOU. YOU CALLED ME, AND HERE I AM. IT'S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP ON PRAYING. I'M INTERESTED IN THE NEXT PART OF YOUR PRAYER..

.........

WELL, GO ON.

I'm scared to.

SCARED? OF WHAT? I KNOW WHAT YOU'LL SAY. TRY ME AND SEE.

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

WHAT ABOUT JOE?

See I knew it! I knew you would bring him up! Why he's told lies about me, cheated me out of money.. He never paid back that debt he owes me. I've sworn to get even.

BUT YOUR PRAYER...WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?

I didn't mean it.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST. BUT IT'S NOT MUCH FUN CARRYING THE LOAD OF BITTERNESS AROUND INSIDE, IS IT?

No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I made some plans for ol' Joe. He'll wish he never did me any harm.

YOU WON'T FEEL ANY BETTER. YOU'LL FEEL WORSE. REVENGE ISN'T SWEET. THINK OF HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE ALREADY. BUT I CAN CHANGE ALL THAT.

You can? How?

FORGIVE JOE. THEN I'LL FORGIVE YOU. THEN THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE JOE'S PROBLEM AND NOT YOURS...YOU MAY LOSE THE MONEY, BUT YOU WILL SETTLE YOUR HEART.

But Lord, I can't forgive Joe.

THEN I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU.

Oh, you're right! You always are. And more than I want revenge on Joe, I want to be right with you.... All right! I forgive him. Help him to find the right road in life, Lord. He's bound to be awfully miserable, now that I think about it. Some way, some how, show him the right way.

THERE NOW! HOW DO YOU FEEL?

Hmmm... not bad. Not bad at all, In fact I feel pretty great. You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can't remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest.

YOU'RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER..GO ON.

Oh, alright.....And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

GOOD...GOOD. I'LL DO THAT. JUST DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.

What do you mean by that?

QUIT HANGING AROUND THE WRONG PLACES, WATCHING INAPPROPRIATE MOVIES AND TELEVISION, LISTENING TO SINFUL CONVERSATIONS; HANGING AROUND THE PLACES WHERE PLAYBOY AND PLAYGIRL ARE SOLD. CHANGE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDSHIPS. SOME OF YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS ARE BEGINNING TO GET TO YOU. THEY'LL HAVE YOU COMPLETELY INVOLVED IN WRONG THINGS BEFORE LONG. DON'T BE FOOLED. THEY ADVERTISE THEY'RE HAVING FUN, BUT FOR YOU IT WOULD BE RUIN. DON'T USE ME FOR AN ESCAPE HATCH.

I don't understand.

SURE YOU DO, YOU'VE DONE IT ..... LOTS OF TIMES. YOU GET CAUGHT IN A BAD SITUATION, YOU GET INTO TROUBLE AND THEN YOU COME RUNNING TO ME. "LORD, HELP ME OUT OF THIS MESS, AND I PROMISE YOU I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN." YOU REMEMBER SOME OF THOSE BARGAINS YOU TRIED TO MAKE WITH ME?

Yes, and I'm ashamed Lord. I really am.

WHICH BARGAINS ARE YOU REMEMBERING?

Well, when the guy next door saw me backing away from the neighborhood bar.. I told my wife I was going to the store.. I remember telling you, "Lord don't let him tell her where I've been. I promise I'll be in church every Sunday."

HE DIDN'T TELL YOUR WIFE, BUT YOU DIDN'T KEEP YOUR PROMISE, DID YOU?

I'm sorry Lord, I really am. Up until now I thought if I just prayed the Lord's prayer everyday, then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like it did.

GO AHEAD. FINISH YOUR PRAYER.

Oh yes....For Thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY? WHAT WOULD MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY?

No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you. I can see what a mess I've made out of my life, and I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers.

YOU JUST ANSWERED THE QUESTION.

I did?

YES, THE ONE THING THAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY IS TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU TRULY LOVE ME. AND I CAN SEE THAT HAPPENING BETWEEN US. NOW THAT SOME OF THESE OLD SINS ARE EXPOSED AND OUT OF THE WAY... WELL, THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT WE CAN DO TOGETHER.

Lord, let's see what we can make of me, OK?

YES, LET'S SEE.........

Posted from Azusa@aol.com thru Terry Richardson

Read: 1 John 4:7-12

"Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God." 1 John 4:7

EVERY eye in the doctor's waiting room turned toward the weary-looking mother pushing a wheelchair into the room. A severely disabled boy lolled back in the chair. Another boy sitting near the door smiled tentatively at the boy in the wheelchair, whose face was transformed as he smiled back. The boy sitting near the door stood and approached the wheelchair. "Hi!" he said. "My name is Tim. What's yours?"

The mother replied softly, "His name is Jerry. He can't talk."

Tim said, "That's all right. I'll just talk to him, if it's okay."

"I like your shoes, Jerry," Tim continued. He lifted his foot so Jerry could see. "They're almost like mine."

Jerry smiled, and the two boys "talked" until Jerry was called back to see the doctor. Everyone in the waiting room was silent, awed by the love and acceptance Tim had exhibited in reaching out to Jerry.

God constantly admonishes us to love, and we live in a world that is as hungry for love as it is for bread.

Our love for God is reflected in the love we show for others.

The measure of our love for God is the love we show others.

By Jean P. Sours in The Upper Room Daily Devotional

Because of Christ, Ted Cashion

Make an important resolution for 1998!! Resolve to tell all your friends and co-workers about A Joke A Day Ministries [http://members.aol.com/AJokeADay7/home.html] Why? Because it is truly the only sane thing to do! And as Mr. Mieogee says, "if you don't tell others about A Joke A Day Ministries, you will never have balance, Danielsan!" (This quote from the movie went by kind of fast, so you may not have heard it, but it's there, I'm telling ya', it's there!)

Here at the Cameron Column News Center we respond with instant lethargy to earth shaking events. We know that many or perhaps even none of you look to the Cameron Column to explain the important issues of the day in such a fashion as to demonstrate the most shallow of understandings.

So let me calm all of you about the most recent anxiety inducing development: Cloning. Now, I have carefully read the cover of a Time Magazine article on the subject, and am prepared to put all of this in perspective.

It seems that a group of scientists, after years and years of study, have managed to use cloning to produce a sheep which looks EXACTLY like its mother. I guess this is a pretty big deal, but I have a question: isn't this what would have happened ANYWAY? Next time you're passing a flock of sheep, take a close look at 'em. That's right, they ALL LOOK ALIKE. So this cloning turns out to be up there with the discovery of Chia Pets in terms of national importance, in my opinion. You want to impress me, clone a sheep that looks like Harry Belafonte.

The real issue here isn't about sheep at all, it's about people. Cloning an individual raises a whole host of ethical and moral questions, like, if these scientists were to clone me, who would get control of the TV remote control?

The Clinton White House, known for its deft handling of ethical and moral questions, quickly issued a statement that no funds derived from renting out the Lincoln Bedroom to Chinese agents would be used to further the study of human cloning. I think this is a bit hasty, and want to offer two arguments why we SHOULD pursue human cloning: (1) Christie (2) Brinkley.

Most of the objections to cloning are based on misconceptions about what a clone would be. As depicted in the movies, clones would be zombie-like creatures, speaking in monotones and moving stiffly around the room with expressionless faces. But this would only happen if we accidentally cloned Al Gore. In truth, cloning means the offspring will be a sheep.

The real potential for cloning lies in the future possibility to produce a clone of your children. These clones would then be given to your kids as Christmas presents, so that they will be blessed with teenagers who behave EXACTLY like THEY did. That's what cloning is about.

Justice.

Copyright W. Bruce Cameron 1997

Subscribing is as easy as sending a message to majordomo@cwe.com with the words "subscribe cameron" in lower case as the first line in your message. This newsletter may be distributed freely on the internet but PLEASE include subscription and copyright information.

Christian Banner eXchange

You are guest number to visit this page...Thanks!