Mark Wohlers Obsession Page

This site's name about sums it up. Yes, if you know me, you know this page would be here. A page dedicated to Mark Wohlers, my all-time favorite player on my favorite team, the Atlanta Braves.
Another a new year (yes, some people do update their websites!) and the question I get asked often is ''Why a Mark Wohlers Page?'' And isn't calling it the Mark Wohlers Obsession Page a little excessive?

Yeah, perhaps.

(and yeah, I plucked the jersey off eBay)

... and now the INDIANS??
No, I'm still reeling from this recent move, but one good thing I can say... Mark is no longer a New York Spankee. Hardly used while there (and only once during the playoffs, brought into an already laughably lopsided game), here's hoping Cleveland will let the guy pitch!

(Yeah, Mark, come on home back to Atlanta...)

And what's this bizarre poster now added to the page? Back in 1992, Krystal Hamburgers offered these posters as both game day giveaways and newspaper inserts. Selected Braves were attired in a variety of "macho" looks. You would've though it was now the Atlanta Village People. Mark was the cowboy, I think Terry Pendleton was the soldier, don't remember past that, someone was a motorcycle cop. This picture was taken through the glass frame hanging next to my work station. Since I've heard it's hard-to-find, I'm going with a slightly obscured picture so no one shows up on eBay with a counterfeit.

Of course "The Fastest Gun in the West" became "The Fastest Gun in the East" with the divisional realignment. Since he's got a whole new arsenal of pitches.

-- from Mark's appearance on Saturday Night Live

This site's name about sums it up. Yes, if you know me, you know this page would be here. A page dedicated to Mark Wohlers, my all-time favorite player on my favorite team, the Atlanta Braves.
Another a new year (yes, some people do update their websites!) and the question I get asked often is ''Why a Mark Wohlers Page?'' And isn't calling it the Mark Wohlers Obsession Page a little excessive?

Yeah, perhaps.

(and yeah, I plucked the jersey off eBay)

... and now the INDIANS??
No, I'm still reeling from this recent move, but one good thing I can say... Mark is no longer a New York Spankee. Hardly used while there (and only once during the playoffs, brought into an already laughably lopsided game), here's hoping Cleveland will let the guy pitch!

(Yeah, Mark, come on home back to Atlanta...)

And what's this bizarre poster now added to the page? Back in 1992, Krystal Hamburgers offered these posters as both game day giveaways and newspaper inserts. Selected Braves were attired in a variety of "macho" looks. You would've though it was now the Atlanta Village People. Mark was the cowboy, I think Terry Pendleton was the soldier, don't remember past that, someone was a motorcycle cop. This picture was taken through the glass frame hanging next to my work station. Since I've heard it's hard-to-find, I'm going with a slightly obscured picture so no one shows up on eBay with a counterfeit.

Of course "The Fastest Gun in the West" became "The Fastest Gun in the East" with the divisional realignment. Since he's got a whole new arsenal of pitches.

Some Other Pics

Just a few shots, not yet worked into any format ... and no, they won't get bigger if you click on them, it's not set up that way (yet).
99X Radio held their annual charity celebrity softball game Nov. 5, 2000 at Turner Field to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

Mark was introduced with "You'd sooner expect John McCain to return to the Hanoi Hilton than ever see this man step foot in Turner Field again... designated hitter for both teams ... Mark Wohlers!

Mark had his biggest fan with him (his daughter, who definitely was bringout the "Daddy" part in "Woh-Daddy").

Mark kept shuffling between dugouts between half-innings, then around the 6th, he parked himself with his fiancee (now wife) and his daughter Austyn.

On an irrelevant note, another celeb player shares the same birthday as me (3 days earlier). I have the weird distinction of being wished a "Happy Birthday" by Gervace from Survivor.

"Austyn, dear, don't use any of the words that Chuck D uses. Only Daddy can use those words..."

"Oh yeah? I got the same birthday as Humphrey Bogart, Chita Rivers, Ernie Kovacks, and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen... "

If I was better at installing soundfiles on my webpages, you'd be treated to either AC/DC's ''Thunderstruck'' (which plays whenever Mark goes to the plate -- you probably missed it, he's done it less than ten times in his career with the Braves.) or ''Tumbthumpin' '' by ChumbaWumba. You know the song, the lyric ''I get knocked down, I get up again, nobody's gonna keep me down.'' It fits Mark Wohlers to a T.
Many a time a callous sportswriter or a jaded fan loves to pick on Mark, and his constant resilience and showing them what he's got impresses me. Funny, so often in my own life, whether there's heartache or illness, Mark seems to be in a temporary slump. The moment I get out of mine, I expect him to do the same. Or vice versa. Without him becoming another Tony Robbins, he inspires me often to pull my life and act together.

Most other pages can give you the stats, but if you don't feel like surfing, here's the vitals:
Bats right (when he actually bats), throws right, 6'4'', about 200 lbs. (depending on which baseball card you look at), born January 23, 1970 in Holyoke, Massachusetts (a suburb of Springfield in the western part of the state.) The Massachusetts birth explains the picture to the left.
But here some Mark Wohlers anecdotes. The stuff of fan pages...

The first time I noticed Mark was during his rookie year. Who was that guy, shirtless in the locker room, chomping down on his victory cigar (as the Atlanta Braves had just won the National League Pennant), with champagne pouring down his (hairy) chest? I started to take notice.

First time I met Mark was at a 99X Toys for Tots Drive. Armed with several toys, I was able to get an autograph, a picture, and got a slightly better view of him. OK, let's be honest. I got my arm around him. Last celebrity to let me do that? It was probably Katey Sagal...

At that Toy Drive, I got a sense of Mark's sense of humor. 99X's ''raving'' reporter ''Gay Bob'' walked into the appearance with his patented ''Hi, guys!'' Mark looked up from whatever he was signing and asked the DJ ''That must be 'Gay Bob?''' The DJ asked Bob if he brought a toy, he held up a whip. The DJ joked (on-air) that it beat what he brought last year. Mark asked sheepishly ''And that was ?'' The DJ said ''I don't know if I can say it on the radio... it was sort of a leather ring.''

Of course the following year's meeting, Mark stood up for the picture (that's the one at the top of the page, I look like hell in it so I cropped me out.) and I said impulsively ''My God, you're a big one.''
I have such a way with words.

The picture in the background image on my home page (and on earlier versions of this page) was taken from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. I apologize for not noticing the photographer's name. But my thanks to him/her nonetheless.

During the 1996 Olympics here in Atlanta, Coca-Cola had a side attraction adjacent to Centennial Park: an interactive sports arena of sorts. While I failed terribly on the balance beam and we won't talk about my shooting hoops, I did fairly well in the "virtual reality" batting cage. Like a traditional one, balls are shot out of a cannon and you take your best shot at them. Here, you got to choose between eight pitchers, who would come up on the video screen, and the actual ball would be released where the pitcher would normally release his ball. Needless to say, a chance to be alone in a dark cage with Mark Wohlers was a little too tempting, despite I bat as well as I sing opera. First pitch comes from Mark, I connected, the ball went flying, the computer listed it at 245 feet! Stunned, I was ready for the second ball. Went right by me. Third ball, foul tip. Fourth ball, missed completely. Last ball, a foul tap that the computer didn't even recognize. Later that year I told Mark about it:

Me: ''I got a 245 foot hit off my first ball off you in the Coca-Cola Batting Cage!''
Mark: ''Not bad! In fact, that's farther than anyone else told me they got. Of course they didn't keep any records. How'd you do on my other pitches?''

Me: ''I got a 245 foot hit off my first ball off you in the Coca-Cola Batting Cage!''

I later retold this story during the 2000 All-Star Fan Fest as my "Favorite Braves Memory" which I think is supposed to be one day available as a Quicktime file on the Fox Sports (South) Net web site. Watch for the link from here soon. It also could conceivably used as a "bumper" between innings during Fox broadcast games, but with Mark on an opposing team now, I doubt it.

Then the depressing summer of 1998 for Wohlers fans, hampered by his torn muscle and personal crises, Mark had a difficult time getting his killer fastball over the plate. He decided to return himself to the minors to improve his game, his aim, and his concentration. And the naysayers out there threatened me, Wohlers Fan Numero Uno, that we had seen the last of Mark Wohlers. As if.

But he does remain the only member of the Braves to ever make a guest appearance on Saturday Night Live, which, if you catch in reruns, is the version from the dress rehearsal shot earlier in the evening. The quote at the top of the page remains the same, as did Mark's ''Hey, kid, quit being such a fag.'' In the initial showing, Chris Kattan's reaction of ''Mark Wohlers called me a fag!'' was said with delight, obviously all concerned that the upset tone he used in dress rehearsal was funnier for future endless reruns on Comedy Central.

In November, 1998, Mark made his first public appearance in some time at a charity softball fame for the Atlanta Humane Society. Several other Braves played, as well as local radio DJs, professional wrestlers, even Mayor Bill Campbell and Heavyweight Champion Evander Holyfield. Fred Hickman of CNN Sports provided some very amusing play-by-play. I was sitting in front of Vicki, a rabid Tom Glavine fan, so we instantly bonded. (I was half-convinced she would try to crash Tom's wedding the next week!) Both Glavine and Mark played first base on their respective teams (radio DJs pitched) and it was immediately clear, Mark was back in his element. And his first at bat, he got a solid single. (Remember, he's gone 1 for 8 in his entire career with the Braves.) And in the 6th inning, Mark hit the first home run of the game! (And only two were hit altogether, the other by Ryan Klesko, and he had the advantage of being the designated hitter on both teams.) The crowd went wild. I went wild. Vicki and I hugged and jumped for joy. As Mark rounded the bases, Fred Hickman from the booth teased the pitcher (DJ Jimmy Baron) ''The first home run of the game... and you gave it up to a pitcher??'' The crowd laughed, Jimmy (in an effort to be clever) said ''Now I know how Mark must feel.'' I don't think I'd ever heard booing like that. Clearly Mark had won back the city.

After the game, Vicki and I headed back to the parking lot (noticing some of the players were on the field signing autographs but neither Glavine or Mark). Outside the stadium she whispers to me ''Quick, behind you.'' Now instead of just turning my head to look, I do a complete 180 and stop Mark right in his tracks. First thing that made me happy was seeing him carry his adorable baby daughter on his shoulders (especially since having heard his ex-wife was demanding total custody, in particular.) But here I had stopped an obviously very exhausted Mark unintentionally so I said, ''Mark, man, it was great to see you out on the field again.'' He smiled and said ''Thanks. It felt good to be playing again.'' Then he paused and said ''You've been working out?'' at which point Vicki practically ripped my arm out of my socket in delight with a ''He knows you!'' Now I have no idea if Mark thought I was someone else, if he actually remembered me from the last time he saw me (and I had been working out since then) or he's seen this web page.

Did I get a clue the next month at his annual signing for Toys for Tots? Hard to say. As I approached the DJ's table at the Toys R Us store, one of the DJs recognized me (we're both General Hospital fans) and said ''Nice to see you, Chris.'' I then handed Mark a copy of the picture of him hitting the home run the month before (the autographed picture above) and he said, ''Thanks, Chris, I appreciate it.'' Defusing any confusion (huh?) I chided the other DJ sitting next to Mark -- the one who gave up the home run ball -- with ''Even if you got the home run off such a sorry ass pitcher.'' Everyone but Jimmy Baron (the DJ in question) laughed.

Spring Training 1999 started off, by all accounts, ''as bad as it was.'' Mark joked with reporters that he was ''hitting a lot less batters than usual.'' But by the end of the third week, Bobby Cox and Leo Mazzone were amazed about Mark's return to his killer style, and began to look like the Mark of ''old.'' Yet his first two appearances in the regular season proved there was still more to overcome.

Stephanie Harper does an EXCELLENT job on her Mark Wohlers page and check out her site not just for the latest news on his tryouts with the Reds, but lots of great pics and sound files.

(Mark - L - with fellow former Brave, former Red, now I'm not sure Denny Neagle, picture provided by Dan Boling)

Yup, that's his signature (lifted off my World Series ticket.)

E-mail me? Go ahead, I dare ya.

or go back to my home page

And I recently had Mark, along with Chipper Jones and Javy Lopez, make a cameo appearance in my comic book series 881 MIDTOWN COURT. (The story is fictitious of course and takes place before Mark left the Braves.) Click on the panel to go right to that story, or click on 881 MIDTOWN COURT to find more of the series. And in case you're wondering, I did give Javy a copy of the story at an in-store signing he did. His immediate reaction was "Wow!"


			During the 1996 Olympics here in Atlanta, Coca-Cola had a side attraction adjacent to Centennial Park: an interactive sports arena of sorts. While I failed terribly on the balance beam and we won't talk about my shooting hoops, I did fairly well in the "virtual reality" batting cage. Like a traditional one, balls are shot out of a cannon and you take your best shot at them. Here, you got to choose between eight pitchers, who would come up on the video screen, and the actual ball would be released where the pitcher would normally release his ball. Needless to say, a chance to be alone in a dark cage with Mark Wohlers was a little too tempting, despite I bat as well as I sing opera. First pitch comes from Mark, I connected, the ball went flying, the computer listed it at 245 feet! Stunned, I was ready for the second ball. Went right by me. Third ball, foul tip. Fourth ball, missed completely. Last ball, a foul tap that the computer didn't even recognize. Later that year I told Mark about it:
			Me: ''I got a 245 foot hit off my first ball off you in the Coca-Cola Batting Cage!'' Mark: ''Not bad! In fact, that's farther than anyone else told me they got. Of course they didn't keep any records. How'd you do on my other pitches?'' Me: ''I got a 245 foot hit off my first ball off you in the Coca-Cola Batting Cage!'' I later retold this story during the 2000 All-Star Fan Fest as my "Favorite Braves Memory" which I think is supposed to be one day available as a Quicktime file on the Fox Sports (South) Net web site. Watch for the link from here soon. It also could conceivably used as a "bumper" between innings during Fox broadcast games, but with Mark on an opposing team now, I doubt it.
		Then the depressing summer of 1998 for Wohlers fans, hampered by his torn muscle and personal crises, Mark had a difficult time getting his killer fastball over the plate. He decided to return himself to the minors to improve his game, his aim, and his concentration. And the naysayers out there threatened me, Wohlers Fan Numero Uno, that we had seen the last of Mark Wohlers. As if. But he does remain the only member of the Braves to ever make a guest appearance on Saturday Night Live, which, if you catch in reruns, is the version from the dress rehearsal shot earlier in the evening. The quote at the top of the page remains the same, as did Mark's ''Hey, kid, quit being such a fag.'' In the initial showing, Chris Kattan's reaction of ''Mark Wohlers called me a fag!'' was said with delight, obviously all concerned that the upset tone he used in dress rehearsal was funnier for future endless reruns on Comedy Central.
		In November, 1998, Mark made his first public appearance in some time at a charity softball fame for the Atlanta Humane Society. Several other Braves played, as well as local radio DJs, professional wrestlers, even Mayor Bill Campbell and Heavyweight Champion Evander Holyfield. Fred Hickman of CNN Sports provided some very amusing play-by-play. I was sitting in front of Vicki, a rabid Tom Glavine fan, so we instantly bonded. (I was half-convinced she would try to crash Tom's wedding the next week!) Both Glavine and Mark played first base on their respective teams (radio DJs pitched) and it was immediately clear, Mark was back in his element. And his first at bat, he got a solid single. (Remember, he's gone 1 for 8 in his entire career with the Braves.) And in the 6th inning, Mark hit the first home run of the game! (And only two were hit altogether, the other by Ryan Klesko, and he had the advantage of being the designated hitter on both teams.) The crowd went wild. I went wild. Vicki and I hugged and jumped for joy. As Mark rounded the bases, Fred Hickman from the booth teased the pitcher (DJ Jimmy Baron) ''The first home run of the game... and you gave it up to a pitcher??'' The crowd laughed, Jimmy (in an effort to be clever) said ''Now I know how Mark must feel.'' I don't think I'd ever heard booing like that. Clearly Mark had won back the city. After the game, Vicki and I headed back to the parking lot (noticing some of the players were on the field signing autographs but neither Glavine or Mark). Outside the stadium she whispers to me ''Quick, behind you.'' Now instead of just turning my head to look, I do a complete 180 and stop Mark right in his tracks. First thing that made me happy was seeing him carry his adorable baby daughter on his shoulders (especially since having heard his ex-wife was demanding total custody, in particular.) But here I had stopped an obviously very exhausted Mark unintentionally so I said, ''Mark, man, it was great to see you out on the field again.'' He smiled and said ''Thanks. It felt good to be playing again.'' Then he paused and said ''You've been working out?'' at which point Vicki practically ripped my arm out of my socket in delight with a ''He knows you!'' Now I have no idea if Mark thought I was someone else, if he actually remembered me from the last time he saw me (and I had been working out since then) or he's seen this web page. Did I get a clue the next month at his annual signing for Toys for Tots? Hard to say. As I approached the DJ's table at the Toys R Us store, one of the DJs recognized me (we're both General Hospital fans) and said ''Nice to see you, Chris.'' I then handed Mark a copy of the picture of him hitting the home run the month before (the autographed picture above) and he said, ''Thanks, Chris, I appreciate it.'' Defusing any confusion (huh?) I chided the other DJ sitting next to Mark -- the one who gave up the home run ball -- with ''Even if you got the home run off such a sorry ass pitcher.'' Everyone but Jimmy Baron (the DJ in question) laughed. Spring Training 1999 started off, by all accounts, ''as bad as it was.'' Mark joked with reporters that he was ''hitting a lot less batters than usual.'' But by the end of the third week, Bobby Cox and Leo Mazzone were amazed about Mark's return to his killer style, and began to look like the Mark of ''old.'' Yet his first two appearances in the regular season proved there was still more to overcome. Stephanie Harper does an EXCELLENT job on her Mark Wohlers page and check out her site not just for the latest news on his tryouts with the Reds, but lots of great pics and sound files. (Mark - L - with fellow former Brave, former Red, now I'm not sure Denny Neagle, picture provided by Dan Boling) Yup, that's his signature (lifted off my World Series ticket.) E-mail me? Go ahead, I dare ya. or go back to my home page And I recently had Mark, along with Chipper Jones and Javy Lopez, make a cameo appearance in my comic book series 881 MIDTOWN COURT. (The story is fictitious of course and takes place before Mark left the Braves.) Click on the panel to go right to that story, or click on 881 MIDTOWN COURT to find more of the series. And in case you're wondering, I did give Javy a copy of the story at an in-store signing he did. His immediate reaction was "Wow!"


	Some Other Pics
Just a few shots, not yet worked into any format ... and no, they won't get bigger if you click on them, it's not set up that way (yet). 99X Radio held their annual charity celebrity softball game Nov. 5, 2000 at Turner Field to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association. *Mark was introduced with "You'd sooner expect John McCain to return to the Hanoi Hilton than ever* see this man step foot in Turner Field again... designated hitter for both teams ... Mark Wohlers! Mark had his biggest fan with him (his daughter, who definitely was bringout the "Daddy" part in "Woh-Daddy"). Mark kept shuffling between dugouts between half-innings, then around the 6th, he parked himself with his fiancee (now wife) and his daughter Austyn. On an irrelevant note, another celeb player shares the same birthday as me (3 days earlier). I have the weird distinction of being wished a "Happy Birthday" by Gervace from Survivor.**

			"Austyn, dear, don't use any of the words that Chuck D uses. Only Daddy can use those* words..."*

		"Oh yeah? I got the same birthday as Humphrey Bogart, Chita Rivers, Ernie Kovacks, and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen... "


		If I was better at installing soundfiles on my webpages, you'd be treated to either AC/DC's ''Thunderstruck'' (which plays whenever Mark goes to the plate -- you probably missed it, he's done it less than ten times in his career with the Braves.) or ''Tumbthumpin' '' by ChumbaWumba. You know the song, the lyric ''I get knocked down, I get up again, nobody's gonna keep me down.'' It fits Mark Wohlers to a T. Many a time a callous sportswriter or a jaded fan loves to pick on Mark, and his constant resilience and showing them what he's got impresses me. Funny, so often in my own life, whether there's heartache or illness, Mark seems to be in a temporary slump. The moment I get out of mine, I expect him to do the same. Or vice versa. Without him becoming another Tony Robbins, he inspires me often to pull my life and act together.