L·O·V·I·N·G   M·E·M·O·R·I·E·S

Rachel & Alexis:

Together Forever

In the wee hours of the Winter Solstice, 1972,

RACHEL KATHLEEN

entered my life.

For the next 23 years, she brightened every day of it. She filled my world with dreams, both new and old. The new dreams were of a happy and productive life for her, complete with the promise of someday holding HER babies, my grandchildren -- the dreams of a  mother for her child.

The old dreams were a re-awakening of those I had never
been able to fulfill for myself.  Like the dream of entering
the field of medicine. Or the dream of someday going into outer space.   As a child, Rachel was a happy little pixie
With blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and little round cheeks,
she was a living "happy face".   She liked school, and absorbed knowledge like a proverbial sponge.  She was
an "old soul", wise beyond her years, often making me wonder who was the parent and who was the child.   She accepted all that life had to offer (even the stinky stuff) with great grace and understood that it meant to take responsibility for your own actions.

She set goals, and pursued them with  quiet determination. Independence was her life's blood, but she was also kind and considerate. For instance, she always let us know where she was going to be if she stayed after school so that we wouldn't  worry. She seldom expounded on WHY she was staying -- that quiet determination and independence, I suppose.  It wasn't until AFTER she had lettered in sports that we learned she'd been MANAGER of the Boy's Varsity Baseball Team!!  She constantly surprised and delighted us with her accomplishments.

Somewhere along the way, she grew into a beautiful young woman.  Here (left), she waded in the Snake River on one of our camping vacations. I wasn't crazy about the overly-long bangs (she definitely had a style of her own), but at least they weren't GREEN.

Rachel was petite.  At just 5'-2", she categorized herself as a "dwarf" and often expressed the desire to be tall like her sister. I asked her why she would want to fix something that wasn't broken.  She didn't appreciate being small until later when she fell in love with a man who was also not very tall.  

ABOVE: Thanksgiving weekend of 1986 found us in Reno, Nevada, at a wedding chapel where Rachel was maid-of-honor at her sister's wedding. From left to right:  Dad (Mike), Uncle Tony, Rachel, Julie, Dana Saylor (the groom), Rachel's grandmother (my mom), and Mom (me).

LEAVING HOME:

In the Spring of 1990, Rachel's sister, Julie, moved to Dunoon, Scotland where her husband waited, stationed at the USN Submarine Base at Holy Loch.  They invited Rachel to come live with them in Scotland.  Her dad and I decided that the experience of living abroad far outweighed the value of her Senior year in high school, so off she went.  Lucky girl.  Chalk up one of those "old dreams".   Not quite 18 years old, and a world traveller.  

Rachel returned from Scotland in February 1991. Shortly after that, she announced her decision to enlist in the United States Air Force.  We enjoyed the pleasure of her company for 8 more months while she attended Portland Community College to earn her High School Diploma.  (Both Rachel and her sister had taken the G.E.D. Exam while in Scotland, and passed handily, but the Air Force requires a State-issued diploma.  So she  enrolled in school and received her diploma that August.)  As a participant in the delayed enlistment program, Rachel wasn't required to begin active service until October, so the time between enlisting and departure was well-spent.

Since the age of 13, she actively sought a career in the medical field.  The Air Force was her gateway.  High ASVAB test scores meant she could chose any area of service she desired.   She elected to become a Surgical Technician.  Ultimately, she told us, she wanted to become a doctor and participate in the Space Shuttle Program.

"I want to be the first woman doctor in outer space," she told us.  I had to point out that by the time she got her degree in medicine that there probably would already have been female physicians in space.  "But," I told her, "there's nothing to keep you from being the BEST woman doctor in space."  She understood perfectly.

LIFE IN THE USAF:

In November, she moved to Sheppard AFB, Wichita Falls, Texas for the first phase of her medical training as a Surgical Technician -- the classroom.  She excelled, and why not?  She LOVED what she was learning about, and could hardly wait for her "hands-on" training yet to come.

I really looked forward to her phone calls and the rare letter.  She regaled me with stories from the operating suite -- sometimes inspiring, sometimes gruesome.  Her "favorite" procedures were the Caesarean births she attended.  She did so LOVE those babies!  She talked about becoming a pediatric surgeon for a while -- until she understood what it would mean to her if she ever lost a patient.

Her true talent surfaced when she was assigned to work with the Ear, Nose & Throat section. The surgeon she worked for was actually a Plastic Surgeon, and he was quickly impressed by Rachel's abilities and professionalism.  He often requested her services at his plastic procedures. A Surgical Tech's duties include prepping the operating room, sterilizing instruments, preparing the instrument trays for each procedure, and passing instruments to the surgeon during the operation.  They do NOT include performing procedures . . . that is, unless you are in the military.

ABOVE: Graduation photo after internship at Keesler AFB, Biloxi, MS. Don't you LOVE her "assistant", Dr. Bonier? And look at that awful haircut -- she said it was practical.

Rachel pestered Colonel Robert Sweet to show her how to do things that were above and beyond her job scope. Her passion to learn must have inspired him to take her under his wing.  He taught her to suture.  At first, she did this only under his watchful eye (of course), but displayed such an amazingly delicate touch that he soon had her suturing his plastic patients.  At a breast reduction surgery, the Head Nurse was appalled to see Colonel Sweet delicately stitching one side while Rachel, then an Airman First Class, artfully closed the other.

Her peers came to respect her ability to the point that they would request her "services" whenever they found themselves on the receiving end.  Tina Williams, a volunteer at the hospital, told me that Rachel helped at her hysterectomy -- and said there was a VISIBLE difference in her incision scar between the side the surgeon closed versus the side that Rachel closed. 

His faith in her abilities extended beyond the Air Force. Sweet was due to retire in the near future, to start a private practice.  He offered Rachel a permanent job as his assistant when she finished her enlistment. Rachel spoke of this many times to me.  He was, by all accounts, a demanding and difficult man to work for, but she understood him and shared his drive for perfection.  They made an excellent team.

In the winter of 1992, the University of Oregon football team, the Ducks, earned their way into the Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana.  Mike, Rachel's dad, and his brother Tony, were hell-bent on attending.  Rachel shared their interest in football  so as her Christmas present that year, we bought her a ticket to the game and paid for her food and lodging in Shreveport.  All she had to do was get there.  She was thrilled.  She drove to Shreveport from Fort Walton Beach, Florida, where she was stationed.  This picture (left) shows her with her Uncle at the pre-game breakfast.  They all had a terrific time.  

ABOVE: Dad took this picture of Rachel and her Uncle Tony at the pre-game breakfast on game day (12/92).

"Mom"(that's me) didn't go -- football is not on my list of "things-to-do".  This was a very special event for them that he cherishes now, more than ever; it was special because it had that "father-daughter" thing going.  Rachel and Mike were more than a dad and daughter -- they were friends.  He knows he was lucky.

MOTHERHOOD:

In February of 1995, Rachel came home on leave for the last time.  After returning to Florida, she met a man who was to be her undoing.  She became pregnant.

Unfortunately, this happened BEFORE he bothered to reveal that he was already married and had a family in another state.  The brief relationship ended as quickly as it began, except that Rachel now faced the prospect  of raising a child on her own.  She was Catholic, and would not consider a termination.  Although she no longer held any false hopes of a relationship with the baby's father, she did ask that he acknowledge his responsibility to the child in the form of some small financial support.

The circumstances were certainly less than ideal, but Rachel was ecstatic about having a child.  It didn't matter to her what other people might "think".  All she wanted was the opportunity to be a good mom.  That, and the unconditional love of a child -- HER child.

Her pregnancy was uneventful and healthy.  An ultrasound revealed that she was carrying a little girl. She picked out a name:  Alexis Breann Stuart.

The surname was very important to Rachel.  She would not give Alexis the name of the biological father since he had distanced himself from the situation, and she refused to give her the name of HER father because he hadn't been a father to her at all.  In her eyes, she had only ONE father -- her step-father,  her special "Dad", Mike Stuart.  She telephoned him especially  just to ask if it was OK to give Alexis his last name.  I heard the catch in his voice and saw the tears in his eyes when he told me about it.  She couldn't have paid him a nicer compliment.

LADY-IN-WAITING

She was a healthy 8 lbs. 12 oz. and 20-1/2" long.  She also had an amazing head of shiny black hair!

ABOVE: This is literally the last photograph taken of Alexis in life.

 SHATTERED LIVES

Rachel, I will always love you and miss you.  And I'm sure that you ARE a good mom, even if I don't get to help. God, how I wanted to watch Alexis grow up . . . and see you realize your dream of becoming a doctor.

"TO LIVE IN HEARTS WE LEAVE BEHIND IS NOT TO DIE"

 Click HERE to Read the Rest of the Story

ABOVE:  About 6 months after I began collecting Seraphim Classic angel figurines, and after penning a letter to the company about creating an Angel named "Rachel" (I never mailed it), I stumbled onto this in a nearby gift shop.  The saleslady said she was a "new issue".  Her name is "Rachel - Children's Joy", their Mother's Day issue for 1997.  I bought her on the spot, and then wept all the way home.

To see more of the
Seraphim Classics® by Roman, Inc., click HERE:  Seraphim Classics by Roman, Inc.
 
If this looks like an ad, I guess it is, but I felt it was only fair to include a link to this site since I am using a picture of one of their figures.

Won't you tell me what you think of my page, please?  I'd appreciate any comments or suggestions.

Click here to e-mail me:   clarissa47@aol.com  

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