Ten Commandments According to CorgisTen Commandments According to Corgis1. Thou shalt feed me today more than thou didst yesterday.
2. Thou shalt teach me with food - not big sticks and loud voices.
3. Thou shalt walk with me every day - despite thy favorite TV program.
4. Thou shall not buy furniture that I cannot sit on.
5. Thou shalt not pay attention to anyone else but me - lest I feel un-wanted.
6. Thou shalt love me to death - even when I bark all night.
7. Thou shalt not have a Cat with ATTITUDE and CLAWS.
8. Thou shalt not start the car until I am in it.
9. Thou shalt not hide the food.
10. Thou shalt obey the above without question lest I POOP on the neighbors lawn and promote community strife.
Author Unknown
1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to
sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.
AD (attention deficit)
ARB (ace refrigerator bandit)
BW (butt wagger)
BWX (butt wagger excellent)
CC (cat-courser)
CCX (cat-courser excellent)
CP (couch potato)
CPX (couch potato excellent)
CSX (counter surfer extrordanaire)
GFIY (go fetch it yourself)
IDDI (I didn't do it)
ILF (I like food)
ILLF (I like lots of food)
IWFF (I work for food)
LD (lap dog)
LDX (lap dog excellent)
TBF (thick but friendly)
TGS (terribly good snorer)
TGAN (terribly good at nothing)
TSIM (that seat is mine)
TTIM (that toy is mine)
UNCD (under the covers dog)
UNCDX (under the covers dog excellent)
WM (who me?)
Follow The Leader 
There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Corgi. The guy with the Doberman says to the guy with the Corgi, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Corgi says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.
A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed. "
The guy with the Doberman says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good. "
The guy at the door says, "Ok, come on in."
The guy with the Corgi figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Corgi says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Corgi?"
He says, "You mean they gave me a Corgi?"
10. When you hand him your cat, he asks uncomfortably, "Monkey?"
9. Two weeks later, your dog coughs up a rubber glove.
8. Big sign in waiting room: No Pets Allowed!
7. Diploma looks a lot like menu from Chinese restaurant.
6. Always saying "I've got a tick in my pants."
5. Sends you a card every spring: "Time for your dog's annual neutering."
4. First question, "What ails your varmint?"
3. He has a lot of posters up advertising cockfights.
2. He himself wears one of those big funnel shaped dog collars.
1. He bites!
