CosmicBen's Record Reviews
Thoughts for the Day
Here's where I store all my thoughts for the day. Usually, I only have one or two. Enjoy!
Saturday, 10/19/02: No updates, but today is my twenty-second birthday! Woo!!!
My student teaching is going well, I'm busy but productive, and best of all, Katie has come to see me for the weekend. Life is tiring but I feel really good and I hope you all do too.
5/27/02: A gazillion apologies to my loyal fans. I'm certainly capable of laziness, but I guess I've taken things too far this time. I have not given up on the site -- I just haven't felt like updating in a while. I promise I will soon. As usual, keep visiting the other WRC sites for some awesome reviews. Check back here in a while and maybe you'll find something cool.
RIP Dave Berg -- not the baseball player, but the awesome Mad Magazine cartoonist who made "The Lighter Side Of..." funny for so many years. Mad is a shadow of its former self, and it's a double kick in the pants that all the brilliant old guys are passing away. I'll miss you, Dave.
2/19/02: To all my devoted Cosmic-o-philes... I'm really sorry there haven't been any updates lately. I haven't felt inspired enough to write anything....which basically means that I've been lazy. Thanks for continuing to check back, and I promise that I'm still updating this site, just very slowly.
I'll leave with this word of wisdom: don't ever buy anything made by Case Logic. It seems like a convenient way to store your CD's, but if dust ever reaches that soft felt behind the CD, it will melt holes into your disc. Most of my collection is scratched up and I'm not happy about it.
Be well, stay well, keep reading all the other WRC sites because they kick butt....but check back here once in a while.
1/6/01: I hope people are still reading this page... I apologize for taking so long to update. I was in Miami, Lake Mary, and Key Largo having a heck of a fun time. I'll update as soon as I can....keep checking back. In the meantime, a belated Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all, and GO CANES!!!
12/1/01: A moment of silence for the Underdog Beatle, who wrote a lot of touching songs, was a nice chap, and had impeccable taste in brownies. I didn't know him, but he and his buddies have brought me tons of musical joy over the years, and I'm certainly going to miss him. The best tribute to the man that I've ever seen was by another George, who believed in him enough to keep buying his music after the rest of the Beatles fans fell off the bandwagon. As it is, you haven't gotten a full sense of the Beatles until you've heard "You Know What To Do", "If I Needed Someone", "I Want To Tell You", "Long Long Long", and those Abbey Road songs, among countless others. Why not listen to them right now? Rest in peace, George, and good luck to you wherever you are.
9/11/01: I'm not sure what to say about what happened today; may all
victims and their loved ones be as safe and healthy as is possible.
Best to all,
Ben Marlin
Thought For The Day: 8/26/01: Recently, that cutie Justin Timberlake has begun bashing his art, the musical equivalent of winking and saying "It's only pop, but I like it". It's not supposed to mean anything, or change the world. It's just pop music. Give the guys a break, along with Britney and even their mortal rivals, the Backstreet Boys.
Nah. Despite what a whole generation has seemingly been raised to think, Britney and the gang don't sing pop music. If it is pop, it sure isn't good pop. Give a listen to Britney's "...Baby, One More Time": the backing is harsh and computerized, the melody is catchy in a grating way, and god damn it, she cannot sing. Compare it with (to choose a totally random example I've been listening to all day) the Pointer Sisters' "He's So Shy", which is bouncy, melodic, and well-sung. Britney just can't compete. I know "He's So Shy" is also computerized, but at least in the early 80's, they still had the pretense of making it seem like real human beings programmed the computers. With the possible exception of "I Want It That Way", none of the teen-pop ballads have stuck me as anything special, just cookie-cutter tunes so slow, lifeless, and cliched that they seem to be underestimating the listener's intelligence: "Let's make sure they know this is a ballad." I'll be surprised if in 30, or even 10 years, we're still listening to any of these songs the way we still listen to Motown and Abba.
Most of the stars seem likeable, though, so I don't particularly hate them. And if you can't stand pop music, I feel bad that you're missing out on some great music, but I see where you're coming from. After all, a personal vision, or lack thereof, can have a big effect on how a song is put across. But pop music is usually free of artistic pretension, and often comes closer to emphasizing what pure music is all about...plus, it's fun and I like it. So I guess I'm pissed that the teenyboppers of today are being fed a myth: not that teen-pop is all that's out there, which any MTV watcher can see through, but that 'NSync (and the rest) are at least as good as inconsequential, soulless, and impersonal pop music gets. They're not, and if the TRL crowd cares about the music as well as the image, hopefully one day they'll go out and discover some good stupid pop music, not the doubly-fake music they've been force-fed lately.
3/1/01: Okay, I have no excuses or jokes this time. I've just been busy, but I also haven't heard too much new music. Plus, I'm going on Spring Break starting tomorrow, and won't be back until the 12th. Look for new stuff that week. I promise I haven't abandoned this site....it's just been kind of hectic. Thanks for still checking.
2/22/01: I'm really sorry I haven't updated lately... I've been in the Phillipines, and-- fuck, I was just being lazy. Give me a few days, and I promise something. Thanks for sticking around.
2/8/01: Sorry there haven't been any music updates lately... As I'd mentioned, I actually got a part-time job, and while I'd hate to become one of those people who whine about their horrible lives all day, I actually have been really busy lately. Expect some reviews this weekend -- maybe Joni Mitchell, the New Radicals, whatever else I can think of. Thanks for sticking around.
1/31/01: I got a job! I got a job! I'm working! I'm lugging TVs and computers in the school's business department for minimum wage! After taxes, I won't even be making five dollars an hour! I no longer feel inferior to the line cooks at McDonalds! I no longer have to tip waitresses and delivery boys ungodly amounts to lessen my guilt for not contributing anything to society! I can look in the mirror and face my dad! I'm gonna burn out in two days! Go me!
1/7/00: So I'm back. It was one of the best vacations I've ever had -- nothing exciting, just three solid weeks of bonding with the people I care about. You all know who you are. Except maybe you -- I'm not too crazy about you. Anyway, about 11 of the days were spent with Katie, who has now been the most important person in my life for about a year now, and one of my best friends for almost two years. She never fails to make me smile, and I'm so grateful that we were able to spend all that time together. In a week, she goes back to Miami while I'm stuck in Gainesville -- still, I sense good things for the coming semester.
I made three CD purchases over the break: Funkadelic's Maggot Brain, whch is cool without having a real standout classic on it; Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard Of Ozz, which is fun despite not having too many real melodies on it; and RZA As Bobby Digital In Stereo, which to my ears is wacker than wack...I guess I'll have to keep listening.
Hope you all had a great holiday -- wish me luck on the new semester (whoopee), and I promise to fill your lives with updates as often as I can.
11/9/00 12:32 a.m.: I'd just like to take this opportunity to congratulate our new president. It was a hard-fought battle, but he pulled it off, and he totally deserves to hold the nation's highest office. I'm just glad that after 7 hours of TV watching Tuesday night, I was able to go to sleep confident that our country is in the right hands. Way to go, Prez -- I've been behind you all along.
Ahem.
I'd also like to point out that as a South Floridian, I am damn proud of the whole "bringing the entire world to a standstill" thing. I mean, letting dead people vote is nice, but this just goes above and beyond, and I am brimming with pride.
All apologies to the Nader-supporting president of my fan club, but Gore had damn well better win this recount. Four years under G-dumb might be interesting, but I am really not in the mood to find out.
And for all of you looking for music reviews -- for God's sake, some things in life are more important than music. Besides, I'm lazy. You should still expand your damn horizons, though.
This is one of the most interesting things I've read in a while.
11/3/00: I'm not voting. It's not an impassioned political statement or a blow against the current system of picking the least dangerous loser. The sad truth is that I just waited too long to send for an absentee ballot (I knew this college thing was bad news), and now I'm voiceless. Or am I? Maybe those commies at the absentee office didn't count on one thing; maybe they didn't count on this one silenced voter to have....a green webpage! So here's where you all sit back as I tell you who to vote for. Trust me, I know what's good for you.
The Three Big Candidates:
Bush: He seems like a nice guy. I'm sure he's a stand-up husband and father, a loving son, the kind of guy you'd enjoy having an O'Doul's with... And while I'd be the first person to jump on him for his past substance transgressions, I admire that he's been totally dry since the late 80's. Plus, he seems more willing than Gore to take a stand on something unpopular. But he wants to be President! Why does he want to be President? He's not qualified! He's not that bright. Nothing I've seen of him says "this man should run our country." That is not a knock against him. I'm not qualified to run our country. You're probably not qualified to run our country. And neither is he.
Nader: I am really suspicious of this guy, and even more suspicious of his followers. Living on a college campus, I have seen countless ads and rallies for Nader and the Green Party, and all I now know is that he's not Bush or Gore. We know that if he gets 5% of the vote, he qualifies for "matching federal funds," but how many people who quote that really know what it means? I certainly don't. We know that he doesn't think much of the other two candidates, but what does he stand for? Does anyone know? The impression I get is that the same college students who only frequent overpriced mom-n-pop stores and only listened to unsigned indie bands have decided that Nader is the right choice simply because he's the cool, "different" candidate. Drop Bore's name and you're a square; drop Nader's name and you *really* know what's going on. And who knows -- he might be the right man for the job, but from where I'm sitting, it seems like most people who say that don't actually know one way or the other.
Gore: I'll admit that I don't know much about Gore, and that I was less than impressed by his performance in the debates. He was rude, impatient, and he pandered to anyone he thought would help him win the presidency. But the man knows what he's doing. Keep him out of the spotlight and he will get the job done for the next four years. I know he's following his own agenda, but at least he's doing it with some intelligence. And don't get me started on how much better his policies are than Dubya's. Maybe it's pompous to think that my liberal leanings also reflect the country's best interests, but if they do, Gore is the man to implement those policies of compassion and fairness for everyone.
Vote Gore. The lesser of the two evils that we know anything about. If I've influenced one person, then it's made up for my pathetic non-votingness. If not, I hope I've at least proven how ignorant I am about this whole thing. Maybe I'll run for governor.
10/9/00: Best weekend I've had in a while. Took a bus trip to Miami and saw Katie Friday night... Saturday, I went with some friends to the UM-FSU game, tossed the football around, stood outside the Gameday booth, and spent four sweaty hours watching the best football game I've ever seen. After six years, the Miami Hurricanes finally stepped up and beat the Florida State Seminoles -- that the game was a thrill ride from start to finish was icing on the cake. Along the way, I visited Katie in the student section, accidentally picked a fight with a fireman (!), and saw my best friend vomit from the excessive heat. And for 22 hours after that, I got to bond with Katie in such an amazing way: non-stop joking, debating, happy looks and sappy statements, hugging, and smiling. None of this has anything to do with music, but it was so mind-blowingly great that I decided to share it anyway. It's become a cliche to say how lucky I am, so it's nice to have a weekend that reminds me what that really means and how much better my life is for it.
10/5/00: Some interesting debates we've had lately... I think these excerpts sum up my position (on the people, not the parties) quite well...
From a letter to my friend Scott after the Presidential debate on Tuesday:
I was horribly unimpressed. I am wondering if the nation really needs a president. Because right now, I don't want it to be either of those guys. I guess it was my first real experience seeing either of them, and...yech. Gore is a condescending, pre-scripted, emotionless schmuck who took shots at Bush and then pretended that he wasn't gonna take any shots. Bush was dry, more personable, but still scared shitless up there, and everything he said was horribly garbled. And you know he practiced that "fuzzy math" shit before he got up there; and then he tried to pretend it was something he'd come up with on the spot. They both interrupted eachother, they both wanted the last word and ran over the specified times... I'm not sure what past debates have been like, but this was like watching two big babies squabble with eachother. I wonder if either of them has been told "no" in their lifetimes. This is truly a case of privilege over deservedness.
From a conversation with Katie after the Vice Presidential debate on Thursday:
COSMICBEN: what a great debate
COSMICBEN: i was orgasming on politeness. they talked about how much they admired eachother; they avoided personal attacks; they were gracious and even a little humorous. everything that most washington types aren't.
COSMICBEN: and they were well-spoken, mostly sincere (unless it's ALL just a giant put-on, which it didn't seem like), and very smart. Able to adapt to questions, not just memorize a script.
COSMICBEN: why are those other two wankers running for president?
There you go. I don't even want a president for the next four years -- at the most, let's just have a vice president. To me, that seems like a better alternative than what we're really gonna end up with.
9/29/00: More proof that I belong on The Simpsons: My apartment-mate Grant and I just finished excavating our garbage from the last two weeks (we live with two other guys). The problem wasn't the amount: we just had two garbage-cans' worth of trash. The problem was that we only have one garbage can. Until today, the floor had provided a nice home for most of our leftover cans, boxes, and rotten bananas. The upside was that nothing bit us while we were putting it all in bags. I know I can't live like this forever, but it sure is fun while I'm here.
Random Thoughts For The Day: 9/5/00--Making sacred the slaughtered cow... Caught Celine Dion on a rerun of Divas 2000 on VH1 last night, and I came to a realization about her. First, I'll say that she wans't too great--she did a rockin' version of River Deep, Mountain High, and while it was an interesting change of pace for her, her voice wasn't suited to the song, and while she bounced around onstage, she seemed awkward about it, seeming to prefer the sad, forlorn look to a bubbly smile. But I realized this: I like her. Never mind the overwhelming "rock fan" bias against her...never mind her reputation as a punchline and the pot-shots I've taken at her in the past. She's cool! She sings schmaltzy music, but she does it well; her music is contrived and cliched, but how many among us are really "better" than like that? And most importantly, she seems like a genuinely good person: loving, humble, passionate about her music and appreciative of her fans. Of course, it all may be an act; but I'm hoping that her being a "diva" has more to do with her megawatt voice than her backstage habits. I didn't even enjoy her performance on VH1--I think she's better on the torch ballads--but it was nice to see her truly enjoy herself up there, because stars without pretension or insincerity are a rarity today.
Also, I skimmed a Roger Ebert book at Borders the other night: "I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie," a haphazard collection of negative reviews, and just the kind of book that a bitter critic like me would love. I've been pondering lately the place and value of a critic: we're certainly not all-knowledgeable, and we're definitely no better than the people we criticize. Plus, anyone can be a critic: even those who question our validity have walked out a movie spewing its praises or complaining about how much it sucked. Everyone has an opinion--so why pay to read anyone else's? You could say that Roger Ebert is a better writer than most--funny, creative, grounded in reality, and to the point (namely, everything that most critics aren't)--but I think that'd be missing the point. Instead, I like to see Ebert or Wilson and Alroy as defenders of intelligence in their respective genres, guys who absolutely love what they critique and take it personally when a piece of crap is passed off as something better. It hurts them, but it also drives them to voraciously consume as many movies and albums as they can in an attempt to map out the highs and lows of their genres and discover those rare works that are intelligent, passionate and original, those born from passion and sincerity and not money or formula. Are they smater than the rest of the world? No. Are they more qualified? Isn't a doctor more qualified to heal you than, say, me? Ebert and Wilson and Alroy have seen the good and the bad, and are, I believe, more qualified than most to judge a work of art on the terms it set out to succeed in (and judge the validity of those terms)--because they've studied those terms, they've studied the contenders, and they make an honest effort to be fair and get into the heads of the artists. They don't watch or listen passively, and they try their best not to fall for cliches. Whether or not you want to listen to them is your business--as long as you're aware of the price of movies and music these days--but I believe that they, more than most, get to the heart of the issue of "quality" in the entertainment/art industry.
8/31/00: For your enjoyment, I dug up a review from a few years ago of my debut album from the early 90's. I still look back on this one with fond memories. Thanks to Rolling Stone and Kurt Loder for the reprint.
* * * * Ben Marlin: The Name Of This Band Is Ben Marlin (1992)--Famous debut album from the former lead singer of the Photoplasmic Swirls, who had a late-60's hit with the cash-in single "We Love To Get High (On Drugs!)". Twenty-four years later, Marlin left the gimmicks behind with a classy solo album that cracked the top 75 and inspired a brief frenzy of Marlin-mania in his hometown of Miami. It's a strong collection of dance ("Waltzin' The Night Away"), funk ("HelpmeI'mstuckinthisposition"), and sincere country balladry ("She Loved Me (For Half A Day's Pay)"). Marlin plays all the instruments, including a moving kazoo on "Say You'll Be Mine (Till My Girl Leaves The Slammer)" and effective triangle throughout. His flirtation with rap, "Let's Enforce Mo' Drug Laws," was clearly an attempt to find a mass audience, using the ghetto stylings he picked up from his black heroes: Bobby McFerrin, All-4-One, and the guy who played the butler on Fresh Prince. Throughout the album, his aching sincerity is evident ("Have A Nice Life, You Cheating, Soul-Stealing Bitch-Whore"), and his lyrics betray an affection for the common man ("Thanks For The $15.98"). Although it's his first album, Marlin's debut is solid and enjoyable, and features a maturity that most people felt was lacking on his follow-up, a collection of Islamic chants sung in Bulgarian. A few years later, he incurred the wrath of his friends, family, and government with his ill-fated comedy album, "A Very Racist Christmas," which had Ice-T, Frank Zappa, and P.W. Botha lining up to throw it on a bonfire (the famous picture of them is on P. 53). The backlash from that album led to Marlin's entire catalogue being put out of print, but if you can find a record store that avoided the police raids a few years back, this debut album is worth picking up.
Rant for the Day: 8/30/00--I've finally figured out why those lame-o's Eminem, Fred Durst, and Kid Rock are such lame-o's. Well, apart from the fact that their music sucks ('cept for maybe Eminem). They're hypocrites! They have this giant "Yo yo, get the fuck out mah face, beeyotch" attitude that's designed to make them seem like a generation of American badasses. Never mind that they're just American trailor trash. Never mind that they take no responsibility for their actions, that they sit back and say "Cool, man!" while girls are getting raped at their concerts. Never mind that they probably want a piece of the action themselves. No, I'm viciously attacking them today because they are MEDIA WHORES. And therein lies their hypocrisy. If they're so goddamn standoffish, so cool, soooo bad, then why will they pose (with the requisite mean face and angry gestures, natch) for ANY magazine that offers them a cover shot? How long before we see Eminem on the cover of Redbook or Bass Fisherman or Highlights spouting that same pissed-off face and spewing the same bullcrap about artistic expression that got old after the first 100 times we hear it? How often are we gonna hear Fred Durst say absolutely anything--never mind whether he knows about the subject or not--just to get his name in the paper? And yeesh, don't even get me started on Kid Rock... I guess I shouldn't blame them--after all, they know their fifteen minutes is rapidly ticking away. But they piss me off anyway. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take my pills and complain about prices and kids these days.
7/24/00 Thought For The Day: On a daily basis, our society is presented with a number of myths, perpetrated upon us by higher-ups who lost their touch with the common man way before I was born. Like sex--we're supposed to pretend, for the childrens' sake, that we don't like it. Never mind that the feminine mystique (you know, the politically incorrect kind) is the most powerful force in the world, and it's present in every single facet of society--evil urges should be suppressed and desires denied. And let's not forget that the internet is the wave of the future... Wrong again--the people who want you to believe that are the ones who are looking to make a quick buck from the latest hype. But those two myths pale in comparison to the one I'm going to address today: the "fact" that the oldies you hear on the radio are the best (and only) songs that the 50's and 60's had to offer.
The problem is that the baby boomer generation is growing wrinkles--getting older, crankier, more likely to dig Michael Bolton and Kenny G. and eat non-threatening Cream of Wheat for breakfast. This has radio programmers scared shirtless, and they're racing to catch up with and please their core audience. In doing so, they're whitewashing the past, trying to assure the boomers that the sixties they remember consisted of about 100 #1 hits, mostly by the Association and Johnny Rivers--you know, the stuff that your parents even dug when it came on the radio. The Rolling Stones? They energized us all with "Satisfaction," but dropped off the face of the earth (and onto those shady "classic rock" stations) after that. Guitar music? Not in my sixties. The heaviest song you'll hear on an oldies station is "Hang On, Sloopy," and they drive that point home practically every hour. And I know the Four Tops were big, but that "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" song is the only one I can remember. That's the way it was, right?
No way, man! The sixties were about revolution, about change and wild experimentation and druggie music. Nowadays, the only way your local oldies station might play "Purple Haze" is if a cancer patient requested it as his final departing wish. Maybe. That is, if they hadn't already scheduled a block of the Classics IV instead. At least they're still playing the Beatles' "Twist and Shout" and not that godawful version by the Mamas and Papas.
Does anyone else notice these inconsistencies? Everyone knows that Otis Redding was a legend, but I dare you to name one song by him besides "Dock of the Bay." A great song, to be sure, but a "legend" should have a bigger legacy than that. The Who had some wonderful mid-sixties singles, but you'll never hear "The Kids Are Alright" on your local oldies station (or, for that matter, your classic rock station, which is too busy blaring "Won't Get Fooled Again" for the zillionth time). The Turtles had plenty of great songs, but all I ever hear is "Happy Together," a song I got sick of way before they used it to sell Honeycombs. The Yardbirds are represented by "For Your Love," but even that one is popping up less and less, presumably because it makes the listeners' hearts and souls tremble with fear as they reach for their dentures. God forbid they should be offended or challenged in any way. God forbid they should hear a song that stretches their memories farther back than the last time it was overplayed on the radio (an hour ago?).
The radio stations are convinced that these are the songs we want to hear, that with a wider and less familiar song selection, we'll get scared and confused and jump over to lite jazz with nary a backward glance. So they try to make us "remember" that the Temptations sang "My Girl" and not "Papa Was A Rolling Stone"; that the Beach Boys were all about "Fun Fun Fun" but not "Wendy"; that the Beatles broke up after leaving us their parting masterpiece--"A Hard Day's Night"... That when you cruised around with your friends, you blasted "The Great Pretender" or something by Bobby Vee. Hell, even the Monkees are routinely ignored. If it didn't top the charts and appeal to every last bible-belter in the country, it's been swept into the dustbin of revisionist history.
So what to do? Call your local oldies station and tell them that if you hear "It's My Party" one more time, you're gonna barf. Let them know that "Mrs. Brown" isn't the only Herman's Hermits song you remember; that a little music trivia might stimulate you and that not all deejays should be cut from the same affable, nasal mold. Maybe we can take back the 60's from the programmers who are trying to convince us that it was the lamest decade around.
7/23/00 Thought For The Day: I always say that as much as I love the 60's, if I had been there, there's no way I would have gotten off my duff and gone to Woodstock or some other happy pop festival. Maybe if there had been a live webcast or something... And yet, after today, the idea of a muddy, disorganized festival 2,000 miles and 31 years away is sounding that much better to me. Because now I've seen Zetafest (tm). See, every year, the local rock station brings lots of rock bands out of their holes and onto the South Florida stage for a day of sun, fun, and price gouging like you wouldn't believe. Maybe I'm an old fogey, but this festival really, really sucked. For starters, my friend Evan and I waited an hour and a half to get in. We didin't even get there early--that's how long it was taking them to shred our tickets and point to the entrance. But that's okay--after waiting next to two sides of a giant arena, across a bridge, and down a block or two of US1, it had to get better once we were inside. ...Right? Well...no. I'll admit that the food was good--then again, for $4 an arepa and $6 for a bottle of water (!), it had better be. But the music was just awful. The only band on the bill I'd even heard of was Stone Temple Pilots, heroes to a generation that's never really heard great music. And I didn't even make it to their set--after a few hours, the sun was frying me worse than the overpriced fries I bought. But every other song I heard at the festival sounded exactly the same: generic, shredding rhythm guitar at a million decibels, and shouted vocals that played into the hands of a crowd who thinks that mindless rage is the emotion music is good for producing. Actually, I take that back--even the crowd didn't seem to like it too much. Maybe I'm a stick-in-the-mud for sitting and grumbling while there was music being played (in fact, I can guarantee it), but I'll stand by it--these guys were awful. So the whole time, I was thinking a few recurring things: 1) Man, these girls are hot, 2) Man, I still wish Katie wasn't vacationing in Wisconsin right now, 3) For every sip of water I take, I could be buying a used CD at Spec's, 4) It is really fucking hot out here, and 5) I would give anything to be at a *real* music festival, with real bands playing music with real meaning and structure--not this dumbed-down, corporate sponsored crap. Even teen-pop would have at least been bearable; what I heard today was just noise. For $27.50, I deserved a lot better than that.
6/22/00 Thought for the Day: As Summer A comes to a close, I'm suddenly drawn back to AOLPress, armed with a need to get a few thoughts down and let you all know I'm still alive (and you know I love you, all three of you). I came into the summer with high hopes of staying for both terms and finding a job that would keep me from being the only unemployed person I know. Well, the job never worked out, and I ended up hating it so much up here (not so much the city, but more the familarity of the square-mile radius I'm forced to exist in every day) that I'm going home to Miami for the rest of the summer to do God knows what. Maybe work for my dad a little, maybe make some money doing housework, maybe waste everyone's time, especially my own. It might be my fault that every day is Groundhog Day up here, but that doesn't mean I can't get out while there's still a loving home waiting for me...
I didn't accomplish much this summer: took some pointless classes, changed my major (gonna be an English teacher!), kinda convinced my best friend that I'm worth keeping around, and after 15 months, something weird is finally happening between me and the mysterious Katie. I've kept her at a distance for so long that I never realized that when I stopped, Florida's geography would pick up my slack; and now I'm a wreck without her. But I'll continue to learn from whatever it is I'm feeling, and hope for cool things in the future.
For you music fans, here's a quick rundown of the new CD's sitting next to me (keeping in mind that I hate everything the first few times around): XTC's Nonsvch is drearily interesting, Stevie Wonder's Jungle Fever soundtrack is awesome, Elvis Costello's Armed Forces is slowly growing on me, despite the muddy production and how much I hate his style, Neil Young's Silver and Gold is pretty but undemanding, Parliament's Motor Booty Affair is funny but no Mothership Connection, Sleater Kinney's All Hands On The Bad One is cute but awfully monotonous, The Gin Blossoms' New Miserable Experience might be the most underrated album I own, and George Clinton's Computer Games is fun but seems more derivative with every listen, "Atomic Dog" notwithstanding. Whew. Reviews, of course, to come in the next few years or so.
That's all for now. If I sound somber now, know that'll change in a day or so when my dad comes to pick me up, and even more in a week when I see Katie. For now, I hope you're all having a great summer, and keep the intriguing/crazy e-mails coming.
5/31/00 Thought for the Day: I've been listening to the Police a lot lately, partly because I love some of their songs, but also because I'm trying to gain an appreciation for one of the most acclaimed bands of all time. And I've made this tentative discovery: aside from some admittedly kick-ass tracks, their sound, the immaculately-produced drums-bass-riffery thang, doesn't do much for me at all. On the other hand, the same sound has enthralled plenty of cool people for the past 20 years. Why is that? Okay, so this isn't the most revolutionary thought in the world: everyone knows we all have different opinions. But if you look across the critical board, some musicians and albums are seemingly unbashable: Abbey Road, Songs in the Key of Life, artists like Neil Young that every critic pays lip service to because it's assumed that's he's brilliant and therefore whatever he's doing at the moment is brilliant too. This is the kind of 10's-across-the-board dross you find at the All-Music Guide or the big national magazines, where an artist is assumed to have talent just because his or her album has made the national spotlight, and it's only okay to blast perennial punchlines like 'NSync or Ricky Martin. Be provocative? Gosh, no, somebody might think you have a 'bad' opinion or don't recognize so-and-so's inherent genius. Sucks to be laughed at. Sucks to try and make people think about why they like what they like. Critics would rather represent an unassailably intellectual, hipper-than-thou point of view than chime in with their own opinions. If you approach less-than-mediocre artists like Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock on their own tiny standards rather than say "these guys are terrible," you don't offend as many readers.
It's easy to believe the hype if it's prevalent enough: I gushed over Pet Sounds in my original review, before I really stopped to think about whether I liked it. Turns out that only about half the songs did it for me. Nick Karn realized the same thing about Back In Black, which I agree with; George Starostin feels that way about Neil Young, which I disagree with, but either way I respect their opinions and their willingness to go out on a limb and ignore decades of potentially-brainwashing hype. And don't forget the cliches that pop up in almost all rock criticism: when was the last time you read a Who review that didn't mention "Keith Moon's manic bashing, Pete Townshend's frantic riffing, John Entwhistle's rumbling basslines, Roger Daltrey's fevered yowling"? Are there any original ideas out there?
That's where you come in. What legendary bands do you hate? What supposedly crappy acts do you respect? Do you see hackwork where everyone else sees genius? Genius where everyone else sees hackwork? Keep in mind that some of these points have been debated to death (Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, The Grateful Dead); try to stick to ideas that aren't so prevalent, bands and albums that are generally seen one way by everyone--except you. Have you listened to something over and over and still not heard the brilliance that others gush over? Does anyone in the world hate Bob Marley or the Beatles? Write about it (COSMICBEN@aol.com) and I'll post your thoughts on my page. I'll start things off: I think the Byrds were marginally-talented kids for the most part, and most of their supposed "genius" came from picking the right songs to cover and from their pretentious artistic attitude, and very little else. I think Metallica has the ugliest sound I've ever heard. I think Adrian Belew presents a dull imitation of rock music, not the real thing. I think the fact that the Red Hot Chili Peppers are the godfathers of funk-rock has more to do with longevity and image than actual talent. I think most of Joni Mitchell's Blue all sounds the same--dreary piano ballad after dreary piano ballad, even if the melodies are nice. And you? Say "The Beach Boys made dumb surfing music" and you probably won't be taken seriously; say "Brian Wilson's compositions were incoherent and sappy, his falsetto was grating and monotonous, and I can't stand how every time he farted, it was seen as a work of genius" and you might get us all thinking. Well, except me--I love the band. But it's worth a shot, right?
This just in! Your responses are here.
5/15/00 Thought for the Day: Back in Boringville for the summer, and I have no idea how it's gonna go. I'm sick, I'm tired, I have 8 a.m. classes, I didn't get the library job, and Jennings hall is big, empty, and a long, long walk from any place resembling a restaurant. On the other hand, my new roommate is cool, and I've fallen in love with Subway's veggie-burger sub. A toss-up? Yeah, right. I've never taken classes during the summer before, so it's kind of jarring realizing that it's mid-May and I'm still here (and no, I'm not talking about my computer). The brief summer break I had was great: a topless beach, a vegan restaurant (how utterly *cool* of me!), walking 6.3 miles in a day, seeing my grandparents, realizing Chasing Amy was written about me, losing ten bucks at a sleazy casino, going Goodwill hunting in Orlando (no kidding), and finding out my dad digs the Clash but not XTC. Who knew? ::Loud coughing noise, assorted sneezes, weird looks from roommate:: I'll update the site as soon as my mind stops being, well, hazier than usual. G'day.
5/1/00: Not really a thought for the day--my only thought is that I'm pissed at the stupid librarian lady at the stupid library where I want to have a stupid job this summer because she's being stupid and making me wait about three weeks to find out if I got the job....stupid, stupid, stupid, and I'm not just talking about me for getting all worked up over minimum-wage empoyment. No, this is just a very temporary goodbye: I'm heading home to Miami for a week or so, and I may or may not update, depending on how much fun I'm having (that means you, Blondie). Either way, I promise all sorts of goodies as soon as I get back from the break and figure out what they might be. Have a good one, folks, and please feel free to e-mail me for any reason you might fancy.
4/24/00 Thought For The Day: You know, this "critic" thing has turned me into a real snob, and even worse, a total geezer, shaking my cane at the infernal boob tube and muttering about how America's youth has gone to shit. Case in point: Tom Green came to UF to speak tonight, and along with about 15,000 students making what seemed like a holy pilgrimmage, I meekly scurried there under the guise of covering it for some Reporting class extra credit. Now, I'd seen him on TV a few times, and although some of what he did was refreshingly manic, I was seriously unimpressed by most of it. Still, most people love him, and he's on the same network as Carson Fucking Daly, so I figured he had to have something going for him. And I'll admit that in the hour or so I stuck around, I laughed a few times--but aside from a few exceptions, I was laughing at what he was talking about, not what he said. Frankly, I don't get him. He's a lot of fun, and he seems like a truly nice, humble guy, but in terms of comedy, he strikes me as a poor man's Robin Williams: setting up great jokes and not taking them anywhere, muttering unfunny asides that the audience assumes must be funny because of the tone, using a ton of dirty words and sexual references when nothing truly funny comes to mind... He has all the mannerisms of a great comic, but there's no meat, nothing really funny behind the crazy facade. He seems to mean well, but if he's a comic heavyweight, I'm Britney Spears' boy-toy. And I could go on forever about how teenagers will laugh at and listen to and buy anything MTV tells them is worthwhile, but then I'd be afraid that the men in white coats would come and drag me off, kicking and screaming and watching Matlock, to the old folks' home. As it is, I'll just sit here, wonder how anyone could give a crap about that tho-tho-thong, eat some oat bran, and go to bed early.
4/23/00 Thought For The Day: I guess I've grown comfortable with my love-hate relationship with my local Spec's. On one hand, there's the CD I bought on Friday: Earth, Wind, & Fire's All 'N All. Nothing physically wrong with the copy I got; it wasn't until I checked Amazon.com that I realized the copy I bought is out of print and has been since last July. Mine isn't remastered; mine doesn't have three live bonus tracks tacked on to the end--but the version at Amazon does, and, I'm assuming the same for, well, every other CD store in the country. Which just begs the question: why is Spec's still selling the old version? Why haven't they restocked with the new version? Call me a nit-picker, but it's not like I got a great deal or anything: for twelve bucks, I deserve those bonus tracks and that pristine remastered sound that every other EWF fan is probably enjoying as I write this. On the other hand, Spec's has an amazingly large selection of six-dollar used CD's, and they're always friendly--just today, it took me about a minute to exchange a scratched-up copy of Metallica's Load I'd bought a few hours before. And they're the only store within walking distance of my dorm that specializes in new CD's. I just wish they'd readjust their definition of "new" a bit.
4/14/00 Thought For The Day: Everybody bashes shows like FOX's "World's Scariest Police Chases," but has anybody ever actually watched them? They totally, totally kick butt! Maybe it's just my male-ness finally seeping through after 19 years of reading and being in touch with my emotions, but I was absolutely riveted while a bunch of hick cops blazed in hot pursuit of some unlucky pedophile against oncoming traffic on an expressway! Oncoming traffic! That's the other way! Sure, hundreds of lives were being risked so this dirtbag couldn't molest one girl one more time; sure, it seemed like the cops were part of some fascist regime that targeted one guy and wouldn't rest until he was behind bars like the scuzzball he probably, pretty much for sure might be; sure, the voiceovers were cheesy as hell...but I was addicted, and the scary part is that I have the sudden urge to start stuffing chewing tobacco in my mouth and smack my bitch up some. And sit around waiting for the next installment of When Groupies Attack, coming soon, I'm sure, to a FOX affiliate near you. Hot dang!
And, borrowing a page (okay, stealing one) from Sports Illustrated...
This Week's Sign That The Apocalypse Is Upon Us: A political party at my school tried to get votes by promising to bring Garth Brooks in for a free concert. Well, durn--they done got my vote.
4/11/00 Thought For The Day: I've bitched and whined enough about the vagaries of my personal life, but just in case you were wondering, here's a little about me: My name is Ben Marlin, and I'm a 19-year-young Journalism student at the University of Florida in Gainesville. My hobbies include eating a lot, talking to friends, and doing things tomorrow. I seem to love rock and roll, but I've been trying to figure out lately what makes it so great; and in the meantime, I'm trying to expand my musical horizons and at least experiment with rap, funk, soul, jazz, and Todd Rundgren. I'd like to think the appeal of my site is that of a lighthearted guy who's just discovering lots of good music and sharing his discoveries with you. However, it just might be "It's one of the sites on George Starostin's links page, except it's smaller than the others and he barely ever updates it." You decide, I suppose. I love my friends, but most of the time, I'm too self-centered to really show it. I just learned that we're not supposed to have heroes, but if I did, they'd be Paul Westerberg, Phil Ochs, Carl Hiaasen, Wilson and Alroy, and my parents, and not in that order. I'm scared that my habit of giving 37% at everything I do will trip me up when I try to succeed in life. I keep my half of the dorm room messy, but I'm a courteous roommate and I take good phone messages on tiny scraps of paper. I think The Simpsons is the greatest thing to ever happen to pop culture, and yes, I watched Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire along with everyone else and turned it off when he picked that ugly nurse chick (I've since been vindicated by her ditzy hypocrisy, but I was going on pure superficiality then). I have a habit of criticizing everything until I've tried it, and then criticizing everyone who hasn't tried it. However, I know I'm a nice guy and you could do a lot worse friend-wise. I encourage everyone to write in with food for thought and reader comments (yes, I post them!), and if I don't scare you off with an over-enthusiastic reply, it might be the start of something cool. Hope you enjoy the site.
4/9/00 Thought For The Day: T'aint got none tonight. The Simpsons rocked! Finally, an episode that was enjoyable the whole way through. And I had a good weekend. I'm sure I'll think more tomorrow.
4/1/00 Thought For The Day: Starting today, I'm turning over a new leaf. Gone are the monthly updates, the painfully short reviews, the typos, and the frustratingly incomplete discographies. I'm dedicating at least three hours a day to the site now, and my new goal is to make it as professional and entertaining as possible. In an effort to find my niche among the web reviewers, I'm going to branch out into country music, spoken-word recordings, and the rare 70's-era polka concept albums I found at a garage sale last week. I'll be reviewing classic novels--not just books about the Beatles--I'll be writing an insightful journal entry every day, and this cool correspondence course I've been taking has made me into the most confident person I know. To all of you who enjoyed the old, stuffy CosmicBen's Record Reviews, my apologies...but as Randy Bachman once stuttered, you ain't seen n-nuthin' yet. I'm entering a new epoch of web reviewing, and you're all invited along for the ride.
3/30/00 Thought For The Day: It's been brought to my attention than I'm spending four years on a fake major. Apparently, getting a degree in journalism is one step above graduating from a correspondence course or a vocational school--and even that depends on who you're talking to. "Oh, you journalists have the easiest job--not like us [food science, english, entomology, whatever] majors! We bust our [you know]s in the [lab, field, classroom, frat house] for [28, 29, 30, etc.] hours every day! And all you guys do is write flowery stories and misrepresent the truth!" Well, excuse me if I get a little defensive here. I'm not claiming that our work is as hard as, say, organic chemistry--never mind that Reporting and Organic are the two most dropped courses at UF--but there's a whole lot of it: covering speeches and meetings and calling politicians and having to talk to you...get the point? And that's only before we turn in the story: after that, we're subject to spelling errors (5 points), style errors (10 points), and the dreaded Fact Error (misspell a proper name--person, school, holiday, teacher's name at the top of the paper--and you're out 50 points, an automatic E). I've had good stories dropped two letter grades because I made a few style errors, and I've seen a girl get a 4 on what was probably a decent story because she misspelled two proper names (and that was with some extra credit). So forgive me for not having a "real" major--when you're out saving the world (as everyone tends to think they're gonna do), I hope nobody ends up finding out about it. Me, I'll be living it up on my $20,000-a-year. Who says there's no reward for hard work?
3/28/00 Thought For The Day: Three months into the whole ungodly deal, my novice vegetarianism is still going strong. Anybody who knew me in high school, and well, before three months ago, would be dumbfounded that I haven't been near a McDonalds in months; hell, so am I. For now, it's just for diet purposes--I missed desserts, but I needed something else to totally give up--but it's already starting to feel good that I haven't eaten of the flesh in quite a while. That doesn't mean I think you're going to hell for enjoying that pork chop; I've probably eaten more Big Macs and ribs in my 19 years than most people have in their entire lifetimes. But it feels good. It's still tough when the girl serving me spaghetti told me that the meat-like chunks in my "marinara" sauce were "just chunks of garlic"; it's a little discouraging that everyone--even my family--sees it as just another one of Ben's wacky fad thingees...but I'm still doing it. Doesn't mean it'll last forever, but it's more than I ever thought I could do, and that has to count for something. And don't worry that I'm starving: I barely miss meat, and I just washed down a Snickers bar with a Yoo-Hoo. Who says I can't do anything in moderation?
3/27/00 Thought For The Day: Mention that you like Todd Rundgren, and most people will automatically shiver and lose any respect they might have had for your musical tastes. And while I doubt their reasoning--most people haven't heard anything by Todd Rundgren, or, if they're anything like me, they've heard his songs and thought they were by Carole King--his eerie reputation among non-musicians is kind of deserved. The man has an impeccable sense of melody that puts him (at least in that category) on the level of Paul McCartney and Brian Wilson: it's hard to write about melody, but suffice to say that there's something delicious about parts of Runt and A Wizard/A True Star, something that hits you and says "this is a good melody." Unfortunately, something else also hits you: Rundgren doesn't care about making great music, doesn't care about soul or anything heartfelt; he only cares about showing off and gleefully yelling "look what I can do!" He's coasting on his innate talents and strong work ethic, but he never comes through in his music or lyrics: everything I've heard by him sounds like a vague parody of whatever style he's taking on, every lyric I've heard coming out of his mouth reflects some stupid sentiment that he figures someone else would write about. It's a shame he's never followed his own muse, because in my mind, his parodies, however well-crafted, will always fall far short of the real thing. Which isn't to say that his music isn't worth buying--he seems to be striving for the compliment "that sounds like a great song," and he usually hits his mark--but I'm usually more impressed than enthralled by it. Everybody has soul, and I just can't figure out why anyone would forego it in favor of distancing themselves from their own music, especially if it's the only thing keeping them from making something great.
I'm reevaluating Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones... It's still not my favorite Stones album--too inconsistent, too many misfires, too many rambling instrumental sections that the Stones just shouldn't touch--but it's become my reference point when I'm watching some painfully untalented new artist shove 45 minutes of crap on an MTV-brainwashed world. Quite simply, Sticky Fingers is solid music: gritty, full, and contemptuous in a funny way, with the Stones tackling a bunch of genres and coming up with at least five songs that blow away almost everything else on the musical map. Yes, "Dead Flowers" is country, but it's great country; yes, "Moonlight Mile" is sappy, but they do it so damn well that I don't care; and stuff like "Brown Sugar," "Wild Horses," and "Sway" just can't be touched. What places Sticky Fingers (and by association, the Stones) on such a high pedastel, in my opinion, is a vision: you can hear that these guys were masters, and even when they misfired, they gave it their best. And anyone who thinks Rob Thomas is a great vocalist (or songwriter) should listen to Mick Jagger's rough, knowing, supremely nuanced deliveries and entertaining lyrics. I'll keep listening, but I've rarely heard a rock band as good as the Stones were at this point in their career, weak songs and all.
How come I only come up with stuff to say when I have a gazillion tests and papers coming up? I guess I shouldn't question it, especially when it lets me put off studying for another hour or so. Wish me luck...
3/26/00 Thought For The Day: That was just a weekend?!?! It felt like more, and I'm glad I woke up at 7 both mornings to get in as much of it as I could. I did everything I'd hoped to do AND had a sub from Hungry Bear that reaffirmed my faith in that particular genre of food (who's laughing *now*, Subway?); I went to the Youth Fair and covered three trips' worth of eating in one hot, stuffed day; I talked and fought with my family; and I learned that Neil Young music is not an aphrodisiac, as much as I'd hoped otherwise. Or maybe I just haven't found the right album...
Thanks to a distinct lack of state troopers, I got back to Gainesville with my friends in record time, and took a nap until our power went out for two hours and I was computerless. Then I learned that it's apparently okay to yell "Fire!" in a crowded residence hall--especially if there really is a small fire on the first floor. After standing outside in the mud while they "fought" it, I came back in, sat in the dark some more, and finally regained the use of my computer. Not bad for a weekend, huh? I'm gonna order some pizza--I'll catch you on the flipside...
3/24/00 Thought For The Day: Creative Noise is ending--actually, it's simply going the way of the Weekly Book Review and Lumiere for Lunkheads: still there for our enjoyment, but never to be updated again (or at least for a while), destined to collect cyber-cobwebs and possibly be forgotten by its creator and maybe even fickle fans of web reviewing....don't let that happen. Brian Burks has built up an astounding collection of music criticism in the two years he's worked on the site, and it stands out as one of the best bodies of work ever amassed by a critic not looking to impress or suck up or feign hipness--just one great writer expressing intelligent opinions for the fun of it. Apparently, it stopped being fun and he's moving halfway around the world to pursue whatever it is he wants to do with his life--good for him. If you've enjoyed his site over the years, I urge you to let him know and wish him luck on his way; and if you've never seen Creative Noise, and especially if you're only familiar with pompous Rolling Stone-style criticism, you owe it to yourself to check out such a great example of music writing.
Also, I'm sorry this site is so infrequently updated. I have a massive amount of new CD's dating back to winter break, and I've listened to them all a bunch of times, but my attention span is such that I don't know any of them well enough to make a concise, fair-as-I-can-be critical statement about even one of them. I'm hoping that there will come a day soon where I'll suddenly be familiar with about 35 CD's at once....or maybe that'll never happen, and I'll just continue at this lazy pace. Either way, at the risk of sounding like an outgoing message at a tobacco company, I appreciate everyone who still checks out CosmicBen's Record Reviews every day or so hoping for an update. I do the same thing, which probably doesn't make too much sense, but it does remind me of the frustration of seeing a webpage lay dormant while the creator still professes to care about the site. I do, and I promise more reviews soon.
Well, I do have one opinion right now: the Woodstock nation is dead, deader than it ever was when Jimi, Janis, and Jerry went away, slaughtered on the altar of easy listening music and the behemoth that is VH1. A few words, and believe me, they're enough: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Storytellers. I only caught the second half, but after a half hour of watching four guys way past their prime still trying to fake energy and entertainment value, I'd "seen enough." Seeing Neil Young, my all-time fav'rit, mumble a "story" and ease his way through "After the Goldrush"--without even a trace of the passion or urgency that made the original a classic--made me wonder who could possibly be enjoying this pointless special. They may still be giving "props" to eachother onstage, they may still have nostalgic value, but they have very little relevance in today's world. Is selling their integrity to VH1 worth this blight on a long, storied career that's given us a lot of great music? That's more than Celine Dion or Tina Turner can brag, and I can't figure out why such a legendary group would ever want to join that club.
And finally, I'm going home this weekend--to visit my family, eat at an actual kitchen table, go to the Youth Fair, and spend as much time as I possibly can with a very special girl--thus putting off a million stories and assignments and tests that I should spend the weekend preparing for. Luckily, I wouldn't have done that anyway, so it's good that I'm going home; I'll still worry about those things, but it all means so much less when I'm worrying from a queen-sized bed a few hundred miles away from any professor who's trying to stress up my life. Plus, I don't have to drive: I'm mooching a ride from a friend. Does it get any better or lazier than that? I'll catch ya'll after the weekend.
3/17/00 Thought for the Day: People tell me to trust in my own opinions. But when they don't like my opinions, those same people think of a million reasons why the opinion isn't really my own, or why it's just stupid. How come when I like your favorite CD, you assume I know what I'm talking about, but when I don't like it, I'm obviously an idiot, I obviously have been influenced by someone else's opinion, I obviously haven't listened closely enough to form the right opinion? Everyone is a hypocrite, and with their mixed messages and my lack of confidence, I end up having no idea what I really think about anything. I know I'm whining, I know I need to ignore the world, and I also know how hard and implausible that is. Anyone else care to admit they're in the same boat? Anyone have a solution? Write me and make me feel human.
3/16/00 Thought for the day: I've discovered the fundamental hypocrisy of Rolling Stone magazine. In their reviews, they take on the voice of Defenders of Intelligent Music, shooting everyone down with righteous sarcasm and rapid-fire references designed to impress and confuse readers...fine. Their choice, and if you're impressed by it, then it's served its purpose. BUT--they put N'Sync on the cover! N-freaking-'-Sync! I know they have to sell issues, but what are they? A serious mag or a hype rag? I vote for "a bunch of hypocrites." But that's just me.