'Governor Bill'  NOT TO BE CONFUSED with Bill Clinton Gives me these stories:

YOU MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF YOU--

would rather vacation on Martha's Vineyard than at Six Flags

Don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle

Eat fried chicken with a knife and fork

Don't know anyone with two first names (e.g., Joe Bob, Billy Ray, Nancy Jo, Bubba Dean)

Have never eaten Okra

Think more money should go to scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach

Would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own fishing show

Are you a CITY SLICKER?  Read the Seattle Times article about Spokane County's rules of the west"

1. It's more fun to color outside the lines.

2. If you're gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.

3. Ask why until you understand.

4. Hang on tight.

5. Even if you've been fishing for 3 hours and haven't gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you're still better off than the worm.

6. Make up the rules as you go along.

7. It doesn't matter who started it.

8. Ask for sprinkles.

9. If the horse you're drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.

10. Save a place in line for your friends.

11. Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.

12. If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.

13. Just keep banging until someone opens the door.

14. Making your bed is a waste of time.

15. There is no good reason why clothes have to match.

16. Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.

17. You work so hard pedaling up the hill that you hate to brake on the way down.

18. You can't ask to start over just because you're losing the game.

More HUMOR:
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From "Mr. Bills Communique" July 9 1999 "Hits" since July 8, 1999