100 SHOWS IN 2005
CLICK HERE FOR THE 2006 SHOW BLOG!!
In December 2004, a friend and I devised a
challenge to see who could see more theatrical productions in 2005.
Winner gets dinner. My base goal was 100 shows. I ended up
seeing 130. It was a thrilling journey and one of the best gifts I have
ever given myself.
I got off to a decent start in January seeing 10 productions, however, by
February it had become a full-fledged obsession and I found myself darting out
of my apartment at a moment's notice to go alone to shows I'd never heard of in
theaters I'd never been to. I saw some truly spectacular theater
this year. I also saw some not so spectacular theater too but according
to my 5 star ratings system I enjoyed 71% of the productions. I have no
regrets for having sat through the other 29% as they were very instructive to
this playwright on what not to do when making theater himself.
The complete list of shows with ratings is below all these paragraphs.
Below is a list of my favorites and not-so favorites.
FAVORITE THEATRICAL EXPERIENCE: The Broadway revival of Sweeney Todd: The
Demon Barber of Fleet Street, which featured a cast of 10 performing
all the roles and playing the entire score on musical instruments. Oh
what enormous balls director John Doyle must have to think that this could ever
work. During the opening number, "Attend The Tale", when
I heard what an extraordinary sound these artists were making, I nearly fell out
of my seat. This production featured a brilliant, multilayered
directorial concept but I was so enthralled with the aforementioned parlor
trick that it was impossible for me to wrap my brain around anything
else. I really really want to see Sweeney Todd again.
http://www.sweeneytoddonbroadway.com
FAVORITE NEW MUSICAL: The Light In The Piazza. This
fascinating, complex story about a mother and daughter on vacation in Italy has
a truly great score. I'm learning Italian via the soundtrack, which
has been the only Broadway score this year I uploaded onto my Ipod.
A great deal of hard work and careful collaboration by very gifted artists went
into the book, score and production. My buddy and I had been wracking our
brains for weeks trying to figure out who was going to be nominated/win the
Tony for best actress. Christina Applegate? Sutton Foster? At
intermission of the opening night performance I attended, I texted him
saying "Victoria Clark!" (And yes, I do realize how gay
that is) http://www.lct.org/calendar/event_detail.cfm?ID_event=34551107
FAVORITE NEW PLAY: The Lightning Field, a 4-character entry in
the Fringe Festival. I went in not expecting anything and was literally
gripping my seat by the end of it (I fall out of seats easily. It's a
constant struggle). It is about a gay couple trying to figure out
if marriage is right for them. It takes place during a family vacation
where they have each brought along a divorced parent who obviously provides a
good argument for staying single. This play could have easily been
preachy and saccharine but instead it was complex, unsentimental and
unabashedly honest. The Lightning Field will no doubt pop
up in a more prominent venue in 2006. Keep an eye out for it.
http://www.lightningfieldtheplay.com
FAVORITE DISCOVERY: The "Downtown" theater scene. For years,
the unparalleled brilliance of Kiki and Herb (www.kikiandherb.com)
has been my on-the-fringe touchstone. This year I further explored New
York's cavalcade of East Village misfits and found some truly amazing and
unique talents. Neal Medlyn is a skinny, blond comedic performance
artist not afraid to try ANYTHING. Whether it's stuffing dildos into his
mouth or stripping down to a flesh colored unitard and screeching "I ain't
got no privates!!" while lip-syncing to the Phantom soundtrack,
he does it with reckless abandon in pursuit of a new kind of comedy that
currently only he knows about and is generous enough to share with whomever
happens to amble into whichever bar he happens to be performing in that
night. http://nealmedlyn.com.
Bridget Everett, a gorgeously plump sex Goddess struts about the stage
singing about life, beauty, and the more pornographic side of love. Her
signature (or at least my favorite) number is a love song about a high school
girl in awe of the fact that she is dating someone "more popular than
me". One night I was drunk at Starlight and she sang that song and I
cried my eyes out like a stupid loser. http://www.atleastitspink.com.
The Varsity Interpretive Dance Squad is a trio of young, very sincere
Solid Gold Style dancers who hurl themselves into the glory of pop music in a
very demonstrative and hysterical way. Though, I must mention, at one of
their many appearances I attended there were only two dancers present as the
third "had a math test tomorrow". The beauty of this whole
downtown scene is that there are no producers, investors, and often no
directors to fuck it up. It is the purest form of singular artistic
vision I have found in New York and watching these passionate performers share
themselves with their audiences inspired me more than anything else this year.
FAVORITE ACTRESS: Jenn Harris. Halfway through the off-Broadway
comedy, Modern Orthodox, Ms. Harris made her first entrance
and turned what had previously been a quiet matinee crowd into a house of
roaring laughter. Her portrayal of the single orthodox Jewish girl in
search of a husband was this hysterical amalgam of Jennifer Anniston and Andrea
Martin. When I heard she was playing "Clarice" in Silence!
The Musical! (you know: lambs, fava beans, lotion in the basket) I
immediately bought tickets. Again, she took the show. There was
this extended monologue of cursing where she was like
"goddamnmotherfuckingpieceofshitcocksucking…etc". For me it was
the funniest moment of the year and I am in love with her.
http://broadwayworld.com/galleryperson.cfm?personid=8079
FAVORITE ACTOR: Ethan Hawke, for his generous and excellent performance of a
depressed, alcoholic, lost soul in Hurlyburly. His
was a three hour and twenty minute marathon, seven shows a week for six
months. He was the hardest working actor in New York this year. The
cast adopted West Bank Café for the run and Mr. Hawke was in almost every night
sitting at the bar with a makers mark on the rocks and a ginger back looking very
worn out and very sexy.
EXCELLENT YOUNG ACTORS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
The gorgeous Jenn Colella with her KICK ASS voice is THE total package
and was far better than her material in this year's Slut. http://broadwayworld.com/galleryperson.cfm?personid=8558
Doug Kreeger, the handsome young singer/actor from this year's Thrill
Me, Yank and Swimming Upstream is well on his
way to being Broadway's next leading man. http://broadwayworld.com/galleryperson.cfm?personid=10041
Keith Nobbs, a very sensitive and calculating performer, brought a very
fun and subversive energy to Mamet's Romance and the recent
premiere of Dog Sees God.
http://www.broadway.com/gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=507254
I saw Kate Wetherhead, a unique talent currently understudying in Spelling
Bee, in four different venues this year. She is who you get when
you need a very smart and very funny adult with a beautiful voice to play
someone younger than twenty. Though if you brush out her pigtails, I'm
sure she would make a great adult too. http://www.katewetherhead.com/katehome_awrev1.htm
FAVORITE LONG RUN: Is Avenue Q the most entertaining show on
Broadway right now? After my most recent visit, I honestly think it might
be. It's holding up tremendously well and the audiences are going wild
over it. When friends visit from out of town, the Ave Q lotto
is the first place I send them. http://www.avenueq.com
FAVORITE OFF-OFF BROADWAY PRODUCTION: The Blind produced by
Vortex Theater Company, which featured a very thrilling staging of a play about
three blind people in the woods who have lost their guide. In a
grand gesture of supreme method acting, the cast wore opaque contact lenses
officially blinding them for the hour-long production. Prior to curtain
there was a man with a rope around his neck standing on a ladder center
stage. The stage manager led the blind actors by hand to their opening
places. As the stage manager exited the space he reached out and yanked
the ladder away, revealing the horror that the guide had hung
himself. So with three blind characters wandering about the space,
clueless to the dead body hanging within feet of them, the play
begins. http://vortextheater.com/_wsn/page2.html
FAVORITE COSTUME/SCENIC DESIGN: Everything in the creepy off-Broadway
mood musical, Shockheaded Peter, was amazing to look at.
Check out the fire-dress!: members.aol.com/david10567/firedress.jpg
More production photos here:
http://julian.improbable.co.uk/photo_list.asp?subcategory_id=42
MOST MARKETABLE SHOW: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.
A family friendly, easy to produce, well-received, audience participation
musical comedy where adults get to play children? Every regional theater
company, college and high school in America will be buying the rights.
http://www.spellingbeethemusical.com
WORST PRODUCTION: There were a few productions that offended my
sensibilities so much that I was sitting there in the dark yanking hairs out of
my forearms in a desperate search of some sort of panic release. The
pointless shock value found in the masturbatory Hiding Behind Comets
at 29th Street Rep (http://www.briandykstra.net/comets.htm)
and the endless syrupy clichés found in the maudlin, hyper-dated, shame-based Trolls
at Actor's Playhouse (http://www.trollsthemusical.com/)
certainly make them worthy candidates. However, there were more things
wrong about Lazer Vaudeville, an off-Broadway embarrassment that
stole tourist's money for a good 6 months this year. In it, three
performers juggle balls/bowling pins/dignity etc. for 80 minutes, their worried
concentrating eyes permanently focused just above the audience's heads.
The production, devised by the jugglers themselves, featured a tacked-on
vaudevillian theme thereby officially making it "theatre!".
This meant choreographed slapstick pratfalls executed with the subtlety of a
high school cheerleading squad. It also meant this random
"History of Vaudeville" laser light display reminiscent of the video
game "Pong". If that weren't enough, they actually weren't that
good at juggling. They were dropping throughout. Clearly
gravity was not on their side. http://www.lazervaudeville.com/
BIGGEST REGRET: Not seeing Doubt. Where have I been?!
What was I thinking?! I did run into John Patrick Shanley in the
bathroom at Joe's Pub but I decided that wasn't the best time to beg for
comps. Guess I'll have to make a trip to TKTS in 06.
BIGGEST SURPRISE: Hating Spamalot. There were many reasons
why I did not enjoy myself at Broadway's newest mega-hit. When I opened
my Playbill, a snowstorm understudy leaflets fell into my lap as all four
Tony nominated leads were absent at the performance I attended. Also,
even though mine was a full priced ticket ($101.25), my seat was practically in
the lobby and I had about a 55% obstructed side view of the stage, which is GREED
and straight up ROBBERY. However, had I been front row center
on opening night, I still would have disliked the show. There's something
inherently wrong about parroting these classic Python sketches on the
stage. In this new incarnation they were about something less funny
than they were originally. Spamalot is just another jukebox
musical snagging the greatest hits from one medium, smashing them together and
cramming them onto a Broadway stage. I think it's kind of dumb that a
cheap spoof like this can win the Tony for best musical.
BIGGEST WASTE OF MONEY: There was nothing about the book and score of the
hugegantic Broadway flop, In My Life, (outside of the book
writer/composer/director's hugegantic ego) that suggested it needed seven
million dollars worth of scenery thrown at it. This show might have
received at least mixed reviews in an intimate staging in a smaller
off-Broadway house. And yet there it was, stuffed into the Music
Box Theater with all the subtlety of a moose carcass in a Starbucks.
Every time another apartment rolled on or an enormous piece of fruit flew in, I
thought "Do you know how many MTA transit workers pensions could have been
activated with all of this capital?!". http://www.inmylifethemusical.com/
WORST TITLE: I am a firm believer in the necessity of a good title.
This show got very good reviews and I had plenty of free ticket opportunities
but I just couldn't bring myself to go see something called "Border/Clash:
A Litany Of Desires".
MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT: It was a tie between being afraid that the
morbidly obese John Pinette, Hairspray's latest Mama Turnblad,
was going to tumble off the apron of the stage and land on top of me in the
front row (I could see the varicose veins popping in his calves) and peeing
next to Al Sharpton at the opening night of The Color Purple.
So how can a waiter at West Bank Café afford to see 130 shows in a single
year? http://www.AudienceExtras.com, of
course. Also, when you notify the universe that you are planning a
theater binge of bulimic proportions, tickets begin to fall into your lap from
your friends who are rooting for your victory (A special thank you to my great
friend, David Krasner, who single-handedly got me in to 20 productions).
This year I spent $875 on this theatrical adventure (pre/interim/post-show
cocktails not included). Considering that will only get you 3 premium
seats to The Odd Couple, that ain't too bad.
I learned many things this year. I learned that June is the DEADEST month
for theater in New York. I learned that a bare-bones off-off Broadway
production has all the potential of being just as, if not more riveting and
vital as a multimillion dollar production on Broadway. I learned that
outside of a few of the big hits, most theater in New York is startlingly
under-attended; which bugs me tremendously after all the amazing shit I've seen
(This is the part where I beg my readers to get out and go see as much theater
as you can: GO SEE AS MUCH THEATER AS YOU CAN.
IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE). Most importantly, I learned that the
type of shows that made the deepest, most lasting impression on me were the
stories that had interesting characters with interesting relationships. Sweeney
Todd, The Pillowman, Brooklyn Boy, A
Second Hand Memory, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?, The
Lightning Field, The Light In The Piazza, Spirit.
Great storytelling, more than spoofs and flashy extravaganzas, is what stuck to
my ribs the most and I hope that my future work as a playwright will reflect
that lesson.
As I mentioned earlier, going to as many shows as possible has evolved into an
obsession and just because New Years is upon us does not mean that this
addiction is going to just go away. I suppose that the only logical thing
to do for 2006 is to challenge myself to see 131 shows. I'm setting up a
new race. Winner gets dinner. And FYI, I won this year's challenge
and I want steak.
Rock on,
David Bell
Playwright/Waiter/Theater Junkie
***** Blown
Away! **** I Loved it. *** It was alright. **I didn’t like it. * Unforgivable!
JANUARY
1. Mario Cantone Laugh Whore Broadway ** Stand up comedy. 2 hours and 20 minutes lonnnnnnnnng. (ts)
2. A Second Hand Memory off-Broadway - Atlantic**** Woody Allen’s Death of A Salesman. (dm)
3. Cookin'-
off Broadway Minetta. ** Three
Stooges meets Stomp meets Iron Chef. (dk)
4. Harold and Maude-The Musical Paper Mill Playhouse * A horrific attack. A poor defenseless screenplay was kidnapped, force fed songs and crammed into a proscenium (dk)
5. Automatic Vaudeville offoff- ars nova **** An edgy sarcastic downtown-style gong show. The dude (neal medlyn) who stripped down to a flesh colored leotard and screamed “I ain’t got no privates!” over and over again is my new hero. (aw)
6. Brooklyn Boy Broadway **** Beautiful Donald Marguiles play about a few days in the life of an emerging author. Polly Draper rocked. (aw)
7. A Clockwork Orange offoff- 59E59 *** Flashy crashy bang bang. Lights a blinkin’, fists a flyin and brains a washin. (dm)
8. Sabina
off-Broadway Primary Stages. Left at
intermission. Docu-drama about Jung,
Freud and a patient. Oops! They forgot
to make it interesting!
9. A
Number off-Broadway New York
Theater Workshop- * ½ Two person
play about cloning. The NY Times loved it.
I thought it was confusing, dumb and boring. (dk).
10.
Smut Starring Neal Medlyn
offoff Galapagos *** Had to wade through some crappy opening acts
to get to the brilliance that is Neal Medlyn. . He is the new Andy Kaufman.(aw)
February
11. Happy Days offBroadway. Classic Stage. **** Lea DeLaria stuck in a pile of dirt for 2
hours. I really liked it in spite of
the reviews. (dk)
12. The Musical Of Musicals: The Musical offBroadway. Dodger **** Theater junkie theater. One Story. Told 5 times by 5 different prominent “composers”. Brilliant Satire. (dm)
13. Verbatim Verboten offoff. Fez. * Actors reading transcripts of celebrity’s phone conversations/court cases/emails/etc. Interesting concept but thrown together and poorly conceived. A woman was playing Jim Morrison. That didn’t seem to work. (dk)
14. The Marijuana-logues offBroadway. Actors Playhouse ** The title says it all. Yes, I got stoned beforehand. Yes, it helped.(tk)
15. Good Vibrations Broadway. * Saved By the Bell and American Idol had a baby and that poor bastard was beaten to death with a Beach Boys album. (aw)
16. Serenade and Philosopher Fox offoff Collective Unconscious **** Two sexually charged Polish one acts about the desire to devour and the desire to be devoured. The fox, clad in leather, luring the scantily clad chickens out of the coop with 80’s pop tune “Hungry Eyes” was pretty brilliant. (dm)
17. The Flid Show offoff Medicine Show. **½ A very heartfelt, informative yet very clunky production about victims of Thalidomide and the the people who come in contact with them. It starred an actual victim of Thalidomide which was a very memorable visual to say the least. (ts)
18.
Shockheaded Peter offBroadway.
Little Schubert. **** Very
creepy, very funny musical presentation of stories about children who die
horrible deaths when they do naughty things (i.e. suck their thumbs, don’t look
where they’re walking, etc). (jf)
19.
Lazer Vaudeville offBroadway.
John Houseman. * 80 interminable minutes of glow-in-the-dark
juggling. Perhaps I would have given it
an extra star had I been rolling on E but, sadly, I was not. (dm)
20. On The Mountain offBroadway. Playwrights Horizons. ***½ An interesting new Christopher Shinn play
about the childhood girlfriend of a dead Kurt Cobain-esqe rocker. Christopher Shinn, I want to have a beer
with you. (ph)
21. Unexpected Song: The Lesser Known Songs Of
Lloyd Webber. Joe’s Pub **** As
indicated by the host, we were all supposed to be embarrassed that we’re at a
Lloyd Webber revue as he is very passé in NYC in the post millennium. However, it was very talented Broadway
singers singing very entertaining songs.
It’s one of the reasons I love this city. (dk)
22. Ruth Brown Le Jazz Au Bar **** Ruth Brown singin’ the blues. Yes, of fucking course, this counts as theater. (ts)
23. The Glass Menagerie Broadway **** I liked Jessica Lange and I loved some of the conceptual staging, but they still weren’t able to keep that durned Gentleman Caller/Laura scene from making the play crash and burn in the 11th hour. (cb)
24.
The Shooting Stage offoff The Culture Project. *** Wasn’t sure if it was about taking dirty
pictures or school-yard hazing. The
direction was great and actors were hot at least. (dm)
March
25. 9 Parts Of Desire offBroadway Manhattan
Ensemble Theater ***½ A timely, informative docu-drama about the
plight of women in Iraq. Vitamin
theater.
26. Newsical offBroadway Studio 54 *** Forbidden Broadway for the news. (brs)
27. Hot `n Throbbing offBroadway Signature ***½ Single
mom writes erotic fiction to pay the bills.
I love how theatrical Paula Vogel’s plays are. Even when they don’t quite work they’re always very interesting
and entertaining.
28.
Neal Medlyn’s Lionel Richie Opera offoff
Apocalypse Lounge **** I can’t
get enough of this fearless performance artist. Tonight’s carnal
self-flagellation was “inspired by Richie’s Back to Front and Strauss’ Arabella”.
29. Hiding Behind Comets offoff 29th Street Rep * Masturbation. Cliché, trite straight-guy puzzle theater where the chicks are
horny and the dudes are intense alcoholics with secrets. God, I hated this play so much.
30. All Shook Up Broadway *** Harmless, corny Elvis jukebox musical. Better than Good Vibes. (cs)
31. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Broadway **** A generally fun musical that probably shouldn’t have been one. Tony Prediction: Norbert Leo Butz-Best Actor. (cw)
32. Neal Medlyn’s Sexual Buttocks offoff Apocalypse Lounge **** Tonight was all about high school marching band, Christian R&B and his sexual masculine girly ass. It was reckless, disorganized, passionate and quite original. (dm)
33. Mamma Mia Broadway **** After 4 years I have finally gotten in to see the grandfather of all jukebox musicals. So 2 ½ hours of cherry coke garnished with sweet n’ low is where it all started, eh? In its defense, I found myself standing at curtain call and 24 hours later I am still singing ABBA tunes which is just fine with me. (aw)
34.
Endgame
offBroadway Irish Rep. **** I
understand the Beckett paradigm a little more each time I see one of his plays- which, of course, scares me to death.
April
35. Fearsome sketch comedy
at The Pit **** My co-worker buddy at West Bank Café, Dan
Zalevsky, puttin’ up a show and makin’ people laugh. Gosh that’s swell!
36. Romance offBroadway Atlantic **** David Mamet got stoned, made out with a dude and wrote a play (or some variation on that chronology). Whatever it was I thought it was hysterical. (dk)
37. Automatic Vaudeville offoff Ars Nova **** This was my second visit to this cocky, drunken, parade of sketchy edgy snotty variety acts. Loved it. (rn)
38. Modern Orthodox offBroadway Dodger Stages *** I believe I was the only goy in the audience at this romantic comedy about orthodox jews vs “ersatz” jews. Cute silly implausible sweet and ultimately charming. (dk)
39.
Neal Medlyn’s I Very Much Enjoy Bruises offoff Apocalypse Lounge **** A middle aged man
strolled into the lounge halfway through Neal’s show. When Mr. Medlyn began forcing large dildoes
in his mouth, the man stood up and walked out.
This was very entertaining to the audience.
40. The Lonely Way (Der einsame Weg) offBroadway Mint. Left at intermission. I had hoped to conquer my fear of lesser
known, turn-of-the-past-century, European melodramas. Ah well, not tonight.
41. Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? Broadway ****½ Perfect play, great actors, and 2 intermissions in which to maintain a decent buzz. (dk)
42. The Light In The Piazza Broadway ****½
Loved it! Very elegant and
engaging musical. If Matthew Morrison were to pursue me with the
same passion that his character pursued “Clara”, I would be okay with
that. Tony prediction: Victoria Clark Best Actress.
43. Tonylust: The Broadway Bloodbath Of 2006. offoff
The Duplex. I will refrain from rating
this as Tonylust is my new play.
I will say however that the audience laughed and clapped a lot which
made me feel super.
44.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Broadway. ***
A 20 million dollar 2½ hour children’s musical. Much of the show didn’t really work well but
all seemed to be forgiven when the car flew.
45. A Woman Before Glass offBroadway Promenade. *** An ordinary one woman play about art collector, Peggy Guggenheim. It was all about Mercedes Ruehl’s pretty bad ass performance. (dm)
May
46.
How To Lose Your Lover In Six Short Plays offoff ** The good
thing about short play festivals is that if you don’t like one of the acts it’s
only about ten minutes till the next.
47.
Neal Medlyn: Glamour Girl A
Fashion/Club Night offoff Apocalypse Lounge **** Even though the show was only 20
minutes long, Neal still had amassed an big mess of torn paper, empty cans and
blood that the staff required him to clean up before he left.
48. Hurly Burly offBroadway 37th ***½ The cast was amazing, the direction was great but three hours and twenty minutes of David Rabe’s rambling dialogue was just way too goddamn much. (dm)
49.
Trolls
offBroadway Actors Playhouse. * I just can’t talk about it right now.
50.
The Blind offoffBroadway The Vortex ****½
The actors in this stark,
harrowing, amazingly-directed one-act play are wearing opaque contact lenses
making them officially blind. It was
the most active, alive, electric theater I have seen in this year.
51. Privilege offBroadway Second Stage **** Dad’s going to jail for
insider trading. It was pretty
incredible watching two child actors gracefully carry a full fledged
off-Broadway production.
52. The Argument offBroadway Vineyard **
Towards the end of the play when it finally got going I’d already lost
interest.
53.
Thrill Me offBroadway York *** Opinions
expressed by the hot gay murderers in Thrill Me are not
necessarily those of the Catholic Church in which the musical production was
presented.
54.
Beast on the Moon offBroadway Century Center. Left at Intermish. It was an okay production, I guess, but I
had a cold and had taken Nyquil and was sorta catatonic by intermission.
55.
The Cherry Orchard offBroadway Atlantic. Left at Intermish. (See #54)
56.
After The Night And The Music Broadway *** Three sweet somewhat archaic Elaine May skits about middle aged
angst.
57.
Manuscript offBroadway Daryl Roth ****
A good new script by a delightfully misogynistic playwright. The fact that the boy actors were hot was
icing on the the hot actor.
June
58. Lypsinka: The Passion Of The Crawford offoff The Zipper **** Brilliant performance art. Lypsinka as Joan Crawford: The most subtle drag queen in New York. (eb)
59. Revolution Producers Tryout *** One half live sexual tap dancing/one half televised reality documentary. Interesting concept. Great dancers. Though I don’t think I’ll be investing.(dk)
60.
It’s Karate, Kid! The Musical Producer’s
Tryout. Left at Intermish. I’m all about naughty words but if you use
them too much they loose their power.(dk)
61.
Dixie’s Tupperware Party offBroadway
ArsNova **** Fucking
hysterical! She makes Tupperware angry
and forbidden..(ct)
62.
The Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Singers. OffBroadway The
Lamb’sTheater. ** This
disorganized anti-social quirk-cult-revue probably worked better in Seattle
where it originated. (dm)
62. Neal Medlyn at Starlite. Some Gay Bar **** Perfect place for a heterosexual performing artist to whip his shit out. Brought two friends with me. They are now converts. (dk, ct)
July
63. Altar Boyz offBroadway. Dodger. ****½ Christian boy band gets jiggy with Jesus. Totally hysterical crowd pleaser. (dk)
64. Fatal Attraction: A Greek Tragedy offBroadway E13th Street Theater. *** A playful spoof of suspense flix (don’t sit in the side sections where the view is completely obstructed) (ph)
65. Rent Broadway ****½ Revisited this masterpiece a decade later. Won the 6pm $20 tix lotto. Sure there were flaws but this show makes me want to write more and makes me want to be a better human in general. ChittyChittyBangBang just didn’t do that for me. (ts)
66. The Hollow Men offBroadway Village Theater. Left at Intermish. Now I know why their Comedy Central show was cancelled. (cs)
67. Steel Magnolias Broadway *** You know, it’s actually a beautiful, well crafted
play, but this, the first production on Broadway, was really flat, poorly cast,
and uninspired.
68. David & Jodi & David & Jackie offBroadway 45Bleecker *** Satirical staging of the 70’s flick, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. If all the aspects of the production were as good as Jackie Hoffman’s performance then I would have given it 5 stars. (dm)
69. 42nd Street Underground Laurie Beechman Theater **** Summer comedy festival produced at West Bank
Cafe by my enterprising co-workers.
There exists a sketch comedy group called Meat. They’re brilliant.
70. Christine Jorgensen Reveals offoff 59E59 ***
Minimal experimental theater where a live actor lip-synchs to a recorded
interview with America’s first transsexual.
I got hit on by an Asian businessman at the Web around the corner just
before the show. That was fun.
71.
Automatic Vaudeville. offoff Ars Nova. **** (see
37) I was introduced to Dynasty Handbag tonight. What a special moment for me and the human
race as a whole.
72. The Blond In The Thunderbird Broadway * How can I say this without tearing Suzanne Somers apart? (which is the last thing I want to do to this sweet needy COA American princess.) If it were designed to be a motivational seminar on the lecture circuit then it would be perfect, but the tactics that the writers/directors used to masquerade this as a legitimate Broadway play were uniformly cringe-inducing. (dk)
73. Broadway Spotlight: Understudies offoff Ars Nova **** A very fun evening of understudies from major NYC productions performing their big numbers. Hottie Kevin Kern from Altar Boyz won. (jg)
August
74.
Once Around The Sun offBroadway Zipper ***
Pretty-boy lead singer leaves his band and friends behind to make it big in the
music industry in this cliché simplistic rock musical.
75. Repo: A Genetic Opera offoff Wings FLED AFTER THE
OPENING NUMBER. Oh the horror!
76. Spamalot Broadway **½ I just
didn’t get it. By turning Monty
Python and the Holy Grail into a spoof of Broadway they completely
undercut the depth, philosophical tone and comic timing of the film. It also didn’t help that Tim Curry, Sara
Ramirez, Hank Azaria and Michael McGrath, all 4 Tony nominees, were all absent
at the performance I attended.
77. Biblical Bitches: The Adventures Of Everywoman offoff Kraine *** A post-feminist sexual fantasia on the backstage goings on in the garden of eden. (dm)
78. Joy offBroadway Actors Playhouse *** Sweet light gay romantic comedy that could have worked had they cast someone sexy in the leading male role. (dm)
79.
The Day The World Went Queer Fringe Festival *** Those darned gays take over all-American Sanctityville
in this wacky, silly, unfocused, laborious, but peppy musical.
80.
Sides: The Fear Is Real offoff 45
Bleecker *** or Six
Actors Trying Too Hard To Be Funny.
81. Seduction Fringe Festival * Soft Core Porn. A shallow, uninspired, poorly produced/written/acted/directed/designed gay La Ronde. (dk)
82. Fucking Ibsen Takes Time Fringe Festival. Left at intermish. An esoteric Ibsen spoof should be 90 minutes tops. (dk)
83. Swimming Upstream Fringe Festival. *** Cute little reckless freshman effort
musical by a teenage composer about a teenage composer writing his first
musical.
84. The Great American Trailer Park Musical offBroadway. Dodger. ***½ I remember liking last year’s smaller workshop production better. (ph)
85. Silence! The Musical Fringe Festival ****½ Silly parody of Silence Of The Lambs featuring the songs “If I Could Smell Her Cunt” and “Put The Fucking Lotion In The Basket”. I’m giving it 4½ stars because it was the tightest direction I’ve ever seen in a fringe show and Jenn Harris (Clarice) is the funniest goddamn actress in New York. (jg)
86. The Lightning Field Fringe Festival ****½ A thrilling, very current play about a couple of gay dudes on vacation with their parents. It hit me to the core. Of the 6 shows I saw in the Fringe, this is the one that most deserves to have a future. (dk)
September
87. Mother Courage Cocteau Rep. Left at Intermish. Bad Bad Bad Bad Direction. The poor actors were wandering around onstage with very frightened looks on their faces. (ct)
88. Lennon Broadway * A bio-musical about John Lennon that skims over the Beatles experience, and with no Beatles songs (believe it or not), is preposterous and ultimately offensive. They should have called this generic postcard of a musical Yoko as every line was meticulously approved by Ms. Ono-Lennon. (ds)
89. Holy Cross Sucks offoff Ars Nova **** A one man show that doesn’t suck! (ds)
90. Slava’s Snowshow offBroadway Union Square **** Quirky absurdist Russian clown show with lots of snow. (jg)
91. Thom Pain [based on nothing] offBroadway DR2 ** A hyper-philosophical, rambling, miserable
one man non-play about who knows/cares.
How the fuck they think they can charge $60 dollars a ticket to see an unknown
actor in a 70 minute monologue is beyond me.
92. Monday Night’s New Voices offoff The Duplex. ***
A revue of some great Broadway singers but the emcee, Felicia Finley,
was sporting some major camel toe and it was very unsettling. This is The Duplex, not Coyote Ugly. (dk)
93. The Ladies Of The Corridor offoff Classic Stage *** A very polite and tentative production of a delightfully slutty play. I would LOVE to see a Roundabout production of this play with Marianne Seldes, Rue McLanahan, Frances Sternhagen etc… Just releasing that notion to the universe. (ds)
94. Spirit offBroadway NYTW **** Three doughy middle aged British men telling stories about wars and planes and fathers and brothers using puppets, their own bodies and one big giant ramp. It was highly theatrical and quite meaningful. (dm)
95.
The Pillowman Broadway ****½ An
eight year old girl wearing a crown of thorns gets crucified onstage. Of course I’m going to give it 4½
stars! Jeff Goldblum is a brilliant actor
by the way.
96. Dorian Gray: The Musical NYMTF * It was around scene six, during the Alabama civil rights gospel number, that I realized this was less of an adaptation and more of a complete fucking mess. (dk)
97. The Big Voice: God or Merman Producers Tryout. Left at intermish. This was a sweet well-intentioned but rambling autobiographical musical about a gay couple that I just couldn’t get into. (ct)
98. The Pavillion offBroadway Rattlestick Left at intermish. Worst. Casting. Ever. (dk)
99. The Intelligent Design Of Jenny Chow offBroadway Atlantic. Left at intermish. Too much exposition. Weak leading actress (dk)
100(!). Forbidden Broadway off Broadway 47th
St Theater **** My favorite part was when the hat with the elastic
neckband wouldn’t fly off of Clara’s head in the Piazza
spoof. Um, well, I guess you had to be
there.
October
101. Holly Woodlawn in “Holly’s Follies” The Cutting Room **** “A friend of mine said to me, `Holly? How is it that you’re still alive?’ And I replied, `I have no fucking clue’”. (cs)
102. East Village Opera Company Joes Pub **** Operatic
Arias performed by a rock band. Could
have been cheeseball but actually it was pretty bad ass.
103. Monday Night’s New Voices The Duplex *** Singers singing. (dk)
104. In My Life Broadway * Joseph Brooks,
“the most accomplished composer in the history of the advertising industry”, in
his first foray into the world of theater, produced and directed his own
shockingly awful book and score. It’s
been 4 hours since I’ve seen this show and I’m still trying to wash 7.5 million
dollars worth of his semen out of my hair.
105.
Kiki and Herb Joe’s Pub *****
Legendary lounge duo that I worship.
Forty years from now, if I live that long, I will try and explain to the
kids the sheer white-hot electric connection that existed between Kiki and her
adoring fans and they just won’t understand.
(dk, jg, ct, tk)
106. Slut offBroadway American Theater Of Actors *** An over the top musical about straight people hooking up and/or finding love. Could have stood to be a little less corny and a little more sexy. (cs)
107. The Ark offBroadway 37 Arts Theatre. Left at intermish. …as in “Noah’s”. A big hokey Christian pageant attempting the obligatory off-Broadway run so that it can then be sold to every church west of the Hudson. I’m surprised they didn’t serve communion. (dk)
108. Five Course Love offBroadway Minetta ** Uninspired farcical-ish very dated musical
about people hooking up in restaurants.
(dk)
109. Avenue Q Broadway ***** Sesame Street for 32 year old losers like me. What a happy, joyful show! Everything about it from book to score to cast to direction works perfectly. (cs)
110. Hairspray Broadway **** I have gone ticket-lotto crazy. This is my second win this week. Front row is perhaps a little bit too close for this enormous hyperactive musical, but for $25 I’m not gonna complain. The 3 year old show is holding up reasonably well in spite of a mild case of replacement-actor-itis. (dm)
111. Sweeney Todd Broadway ***** UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!! A cast of ten performs all the roles and plays all the music. I have never seen anything like it before in my life. RIVETING! This brilliant re-defining interpretation is similar to what Roundabout did with Cabaret a few years back. And if that weren’t enough, I understood every word that Patti Lupone sang. I believe she has secured herself another Tony. GO SEE THIS SHOW! (jg)
112. Absurd Person Singular Broadway *** Manhattan Theater Club subscribers are a specific lot. A joke is delivered. The elderly wives die laughing. The elderly husbands are jarred awake. The elderly husbands say “What’s so
funny?”. The elderly wives repeat the
joke to their husbands. So there is 15
seconds of audience noise where the play is completely drowned out. This production of Absurd Person
Singular seems to be designed to accommodate this.
113. Neal Medlyn’s Halloween Special Starlight ***** If it were any more “Downtown” then I
would have fallen into the Hudson. It
was the best of the incomparable Neal, the HOT SEXY Bridget Everett, the loyal
firmament of Kenny Mellman, and the hysterical Varsity Interpretive Dance
Squad.
November
114. Piece Producers Tryout. The Duke **½ Chamber musical about a mother/daughter relationship. The music was quite wonderful but the book, yeah, not so much. (dk)
115.
EATFEST: Series C offoff. Emerging Artist’s
Theater **** Four well produced
fun short plays. In my favorite one a
pair of drunk ex-boyfriends bust into a dude’s apartment and whine a lot. Good times.
116. Seascape Broadway. **** Lizards crawling up out of the ocean and having a conversation with humans on the beach is, comparatively, Albee’s most unsubtle conceit. But why bitch when it works? It’s not riveting, but very interesting and meaningful and I definitely recommend it. And who doesn’t love Frances Sternhagen, right? (dk)
117. Souvenir Broadway *** The legend of Florence Foster Jenkins deserves far more than a one-joke plot but here it is in all of its one-joke glory. In its defense, Donald Corren and Judy Kaye were quite wonderful. (jg)
118. Martha: An Unauthorized Musical Staged Reading. Producers Club. Left at intermish. The first act was a lumbering hour and twenty minutes. How many times do I have to tell you this?? Spoofs should be 90 minutes tops!! This was under-rehearsed and poorly cast which is a little understandable seeing as how it was just a staged reading, but it made this childish, mean-spirited musical all the more unlikable. (aw)
119.
EATFEST:
Series A
offoff. Emerging Artist’s Theater *** More short plays. This time they were about death and lesbians.
120. The Woman In White Broadway *** It was beautiful music but with a monotone book, none of the gushing melodies seemed to be earned (not even the final number which sounded strangely like “Macarena”). The cast was quite wonderful though. I think there is a very interesting future for animated projections in theatrical productions, but having 98% of the scenery projected on a wall is overkill. (dk)
121. EATFEST: Series B offoff EAT ****
Even more short plays. I really
enjoyed this festival as a whole. It’s
very inspiring watching a giant family of artists roll their sleeves up and put
their shtuff onstage.
122. The Improvaholics Rose’s Turn **** I HATE Improv. It’s usually nothing but frantic actors trying too hard to be funny. Makes me so tense! It is a testament to talents of The Improvaholics that I had an absolute blast at their show last night. (dm)
123. The 25th Annual Putnam County
Spelling Bee Broadway ****½ OH!
I get it! It’s a family
musical!! There were tons of mommies and
daddies and sons and daughters in the audience. And happy clappy gay boys like me too. What a playful light fun sweet show! As soon as it’s released, EVERY REGIONAL COMPANY IN AMERICA will
be buying the rights. All I have to do
is write ONE show like this and I will be able to pay for my nursing home. (dk)
December
124. The Color Purple Broadway **** You’re supposed to cry at The Color Purple, but that just didn’t happen for me in this new Broadway incarnation. I think it’s just hard for the characters to earn any pathos when 40 years is crammed into 2 ½ hours. The show is very entertaining though, beautiful to look at and the cast is pretty perfect. I went on opening night and at intermission I stood next to Oprah at the bar and I peed next to Al Sharpton in the bathroom. How cool is that?! (dk)
125. Sodom offoff The Kraine * An extremely ill conceived new musical about Sodom and Gomorra. The book tried too hard to be naughty and the music, oddly enough, sounded very polite and came off as ersatz Sondheim. (dk)
126. The Lady In Question offoff The Monster TOSOS II **** An earnest staged reading of a hilarious vintage Charles Busch play. Performing theatrical works in bars is just the most wonderful thing in the world. (dm)
127. Rope offBroadway The Zipper **** A ripping good old fashioned British thriller. They served the most delicious hot spiced wine beverage in the lobby. They let you take your drinks to the seat with you. Gosh, that’s swell. (tk)
128. Dog Sees God offBroadway Century Center **** A reckless, unfocused but hysterical and intermittently brilliant satire that revisits the Peanuts gang in their adolescent years where they are now a motley crew of self-absorbed, self-destructive, substance abusers. (dk)
129. Chita Rivera: A Dancer’s Life Broadway **** Oh come on, it’s Chita. She could read the phonebook… (dm)
130. Duplex Year End Wrap Up The Duplex **** Numbers from the best of the year. Good times. (jg)