You still own a hot plate.
You have been to more countries than states.
You expect the water in your taps to turn brown after a rain.
You experience a need for a Chai break every day at 10 a.m.
You can sing at least 3 national anthems.
You think all Indians come from India.
You are still trying to find a U.S. supplier of Chavda.
You know how to read a currency exchange table.
You have a sign made by Mugo.
You cannot ride in an airport shuttle without thinking it would be an awesome Matatu.
You find yourself estimating the weight of the ivory on the elephants in nature shows.
You answer the phone, "Hello, Kijabe 1."
You think direct dial is a new invention.
You are surprised people waste bird seed on the birds.
You instinctively put a novel in your pocket when going to church on the fist Sunday of the month.
You use steel trays to eat off at home.
You plan trips around where other alumni live.
You know the time difference between Chicago and Nairobi.
You know the area code of at least 3 countries, but not the next city.
You have siblings with passports from another country.
Your best friends live over 8,000 miles away.
Church seems boring without people wondering in and out.
You miss the chicken eggs in the offering.
Your parents dropped you off at school in a Landrover.
You know that Music Appreciation is a class, not a state of mind.
Black Cat is your favorite chewing gum.
The night seems empty without the sound of Tree Hyrax screaming.
You can not remember whose cloths you are wearing.
You can not go shopping without at least 40 other people going along.
You keep expecting the water to turn hot in the shower.
You keep expecting the hot water to run out while you are in the shower.
You still yell 'Flushing' every time you go to the choa.
You keep looking for a guy roasting corn while shopping in the mall.
You only call your parents twice a year.
Your family lives on more than one continent.
You have a house decorated with the skins of endangered species.
You know what a Cholera shot feels like.
Miss Winterberg was your English teacher.
You watch Africa movies just to hear Kiswahili.
You have been to most of the places used for scenery in Africa movies.
You think of termites/flying ants as a food group.
You keep looking for a good curry and rice restaurant.
You can not figure out why the speed limit is so low when there is so much pavement!
All travel is measured in hours or days instead of miles/kilometers.
You find yourself addressing people as Bwana.
You fly at least two national flags at your house.
You planted a Jacaranda tree in your yard.
You prefer hot mustard on everything and make your own.
You had a bus driver named Salomon.
You can not figure out why they sell so many types of dry cereal.
You keep looking for OMO at the grocery store.
You own a laundry bag and wash cloths only once a week.
You can read a flight schedule better than a bus schedule.
You can estimate the weight of a suitcase within two pounds
You prefer your sugar in 7 foot stalks.
You sift your flour before baking anything.
You check for pinching ants before sitting down.
You know how to hot-wire a piki.
You wish you could teach football players how to tackle.
You can find your way around Senior Store in the dark.
You cannot get used to more than 12 hours of daylight.
You keep a bottle of Bitters in the house, but don't drink.
You know what Marmite is.
You know Titchie Swat is not child abuse.
You have flown on the national airlines of countries that most people cannot find on a map.
You feel a $1.50/gallon for gas is cheap.
You never assume that a gas station will have gas for sale.
"Out of Africa" is one of your favorite movies.
You keep your passport current; just in case.
Most of your memories are of Africa.
You feel uniforms are a good idea.
You own a shortwave radio.
You have seen every Disney movie.
You have seen "Tora, Tora, Tora" at least 3 times.
You know what a Fizzy is.
You get homesick about every three months.
You understand more of a Kikuyu hymn than a Rap song.
You hear a bell ringing and assume it must be 5 p.m.
Valleys less than 2,000 feet deep and 30 miles wide fail to impress you.
You think camping means you sleep in a tent.
You prefer countries with only two seasons: wet and dry.
Senior Banquet was more work than picking out the right dress.
You know the lines on a map don't necessarily represent a road.
You feel free to drop in on people that you have not seen for years.
You only feel comfortable sleeping on a foam mattress.
You do most of your shopping at the 7-11.
You have painted a Mercedes bus.
You watch the weather channel for the international forecast.
People who speak less than 5 languages fail to impress you.
You think all RR tracks should have a path beside them.
You know all the answers to the National Geographic quizzes.
You know what a real chameleon looks like.
You drive on dirt roads just for the fun of it.
You think the money is fake because it does not have the Presidents picture on it.
You drive a stick shift because that's what you learned on.
You prefer your eggs cold.
Lines of less than 40 people seem short to you.
You only shop on Fridays.
You have read every Wilbur Smith book.
You plan your vacations around April, December and August.
You can convert 160 kilometers per hour to 100 mph without thinking.
You pass on the shoulder. That's what it is for!
You wonder why the British don't run the exhaust on their trucks up behind the cab.
You miss the smell of fresh diesel in the morning.
You miss the donkeys on the highway.
You find staying in our own lane boring.
You wonder when they started giving the police cars.
You drove for years without a license.
You had your first car accident at age 12.
You miss playing chicken over a single lane of pavement.
You stay out of lakes because they may have bilharzia.
Any car less than 10 years old seems new to you.
You purchase maps of Africa just to find the mistakes.
You have hopped trains, but are not a hobo.
Your mouth waters when anyone says samosa.
You like your house quite between 8 and 9 p.m.
You find American stamps boring.
You know the difference between a Cape and a Water Buffalo.
You know that tigers do not live in Africa.
You spent a lot of time around the ruby field but never played organized sports.
You know your way around senior store but never sold anything.
You spent a lot of time around the baptismal pool but never saw anyone baptized.
You start a lot of sentences with, "In Africa, we ..."
You know what year President Roosevelt took his African safari.
You feel more at home in London than Miami.
You know Australian rugby is not really rugby.
Mountains under 16,000 feet fail to impress you.
You have no family to visit on holidays.
You did not meet your grandmother until you were four.
You drive by large fields and still look for zebra.
You had a wild animal as a pet.
You look for leopards when walking at night.
You own a pair of Bata Safari Boots.
You own a pair of tire shoes.
Have any more ideas? Drop me a line and we can add them to the list. Email David Rae
