Darcy Pattison: Children's Book Author

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Tone of Voice

      "Young man, don't speak to me in that tone of voice!"
     When you see that bit of dialogue, you know that a boy is talking sarcastically or disrespectfully. We understand that it's not just the words said, but it's how the words are used that conveys an attitude.
     Humor, irony, satire, pleasantness, excitement, righteous indignation–the audience's anticipated reaction is what determines the tone with which you write a particular piece. Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown has a soothing tone; Captain Underpants by Dave Pilkey has an irreverent, comical tone; Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse has a spare, restrained tone that matches the mood of the Dust Bowl.

Definition of Tone of Voice

     Alix Reid, Editorial Director, Harpercollins, says, "Tone is the glue that holds the various components of a story together. It underpins the narrative, the setting, the characters, the dialogue. It shapes the reader's response. If an author is writing a gothic mystery, and the setting is a dank and deserted castle, the heroine is a shrinking violet, and full moons and storms abound, then the tone has to be appropriately romantic, mysterious, and above all, respectful of the genre."
     Jeannette Larson, Senior Editor for Harcourt, Inc., says "Tone of voice helps the reader feel what the author is trying to communicate. It can give the author a more effective, subtle way to communicate their intention, to communicate an emotional element or mood that can't be told in words."
     But wait–"can't be told in words"? What is happening here? Tone of voice is determined by the word choices within a story, but it isn't told by words?
     One of the first ways to get a handle on controlling the tone of voice is to look at the adjectives and adverbs within your story. Diana Capriotti, Editor for Delacorte Books, says, "You are putting the voice in the reader's head with clues about how to interpret it, but without a physical voice. You have to rely on setting, mood and context to create the tone." The tone can be cued by adjectives or adverbs: quietly, he said; angrily, he said; sadly, he said. Capriotti says, "The more experienced and better writer can get by without these adverbs."
     In other words, the missing words–quietly, angrily, sadly–are communicated by "every tool in the writer's arsenal," as Capriotti puts it. That's a frustrating statement for beginning writers: it's too abstract. Let's make it a bit more concrete.

Creating Tone of Voice

     Before you begin writing, you should have a tone of voice in mind. Reid says, "It is essential to writing a story that has consistent tone that an author understand what sort of book he or she is writing, and understand who the characters are. Otherwise, you can end up with a story where the plot and characters are doing one thing, and the author is doing another."
     Wendy McClure, Editor for Albert Whitman, emphasizes the importance of this: "Tone of voice should have been shaping the story all along."
     If it's important to know the tone of voice before writing, it's also important to begin with the right tone of voice. McClure says, "When it comes to novels, you need to structure the beginning of the story so the voice comes through right away. The most memorable stories I know of start with a simple declarative sentence by the main character, saying exactly what she thinks about her predicament, or how a certain event affected her. That immediately sets the tone—‘this is how it feels to be me.' The voice should bring the reader into the story even before any action has occurred."
     Implied in what McClure is saying is the importance of characterization and the character's voice to creating the tone of the story. Elaine Marie Alphin, author of Counterfeit Son (Harcourt), which won the Edgar award for the best young adult mystery of 2000, says, "The voice of a book comes from the main character, not from the writer. The writer's style is something quite different: it's the result of years of writing. It's a mode of expression that the writer feels is clearest, truest. For example, my tendency to use a lot of dashes is an element of my style, I think. I rely on it a good deal in my columns, essays, and nonfiction. But it doesn't come through in all my books, particularly my novels, because it's not always the right voice for my character."
     She wrote the first draft of Counterfeit Son five years before an editor asked for revisions. "I found it very easy to slip back into Cameron's mind and heart and write in exactly the same voice. It was the expression of his curious blend of hope and despair, the emotions that allowed him to survive and gave him the strength to try so hard to create a new life with the Laceys. The voice and tone plunge the reader into Cameron's mind and heart. That's where you want the reader to be–not in the writer's mind and heart, but in that character's."

Recognition and Consistency

     Once you have something written that captures the character, the voice of the story and the tone of the story, then you must do two things. First, recognize when that voice and tone is present and working; second, learn to be consistent with the voice and tone.
     Capriotti says, "The key is to recognize a successful chapter or section. Or learn to recognize a weak chapter or section." Put the work aside for as long as you can stand it, then read it with an eye toward where the voice, tone and character are working or not working. "Read it out loud," Capriotti suggests. "Look at how much explaining is done around dialogue. How is the information coming across? Are you forcing explanations into dialogue that shouldn't be there? Are you trying to make characters to be something they aren't? See if you can re-imagine a new way for the characters to present information. If you've created the right voice and tone once, you can do it again."
     What editors are looking for is consistency of tone throughout a story. Larson says, ""Look for every opportunity to make the tone consistent. Changing mood is important so the reader's experience isn't flat. But changing the tone would bring in incongruity." On a very simple level this means that you can't start a story with a dreamy stream-of-consciousness and end with an action-packed thriller.
     Reid picks up this theme and elaborates: "This is not to say that a character has to always be exactly the same or have the same reactions to everything for the tone to be consistent. Obviously, in the course of a novel a character has to grow, change, and develop in some way. Nonetheless, that character needs to become something that grows out of what he or she is like at the beginning of the novel. I think about it like a tree which adds rings around rings as it grows and matures. So, too, should tone, as it changes and matures through a novel, grow organically from the beginning of a novel, so that it's always recognizable, yet, stronger, more solid, more powerful."
     Consistency is important even when a story has multiple points of view. In Spring, 2002, Reid will be publishing a novel, How to Disappear Completely and Never be Found by Sara Nickerson. The novel switches back and forth between male and female characters, but still maintains a tone of mystery and adventure.

Writer's Craft

     While much of the discussion about tone of voice revolves around abstract issues, there are some concrete things that can be considered.
     McClure says that the choice of details can do a lot of the work in establishing a tone of voice. "Remember to show instead of tell. We don't want platitudes, but details that are an extension of the character and the character's outlook."
     Likewise, plot and organization can affect tone of voice. For example, McClure points to picture book stories that have simple refrains --which presents a reassuring tone by suggesting that there is order in the world. The organization of the text always returns to a phrase that is important; the child knows you'll get to that point again in the story and feels the ordering of events in the story, which reinforces the tone.
     The language and vocabulary used must also support the tone of a story. McClure says, "The vocabulary has to do the work of voice without being intrusive. If I'm conscious of the language, then I'm not sure the tone of voice is working. You want the story to be seamless." After reading a story, she may sometimes analyze what worked and discover that alliteration and assonance made certain words resonate. But the technique should be subtle enough to work without calling attention to itself.
     Dialogue can carry tone of voice, too. Capriotti particularly dislikes the false "Dawson Creek" dialogue. "It's that self aware teen with an elevated vocabulary. I don't know kids who talk like that. Don't fall into this trap because it creates the worst sort of tone." Sometimes, the use of the "casual You" dialogue can speak straight to the reader in a conversational tone.

Individuality

     If all the above feels too abstract, if you want more detailed how-to instructions, if you have trouble recognizing voice much less tone of voice, you aren't alone. Yet, editors and teachers of writing can't be more specific. "It depends. . . ," they say. It always depends on the story, the characters, the setting, the author's intent, and so many other minor and major decisions about a story.
     Capriotti says, "The tone is the end result, but it is also the beginning. It's what's in the back of the reader's mind as they encounter the work." It must also be in the back of the author's mind throughout the writing process.
     The author must solve the problem of tone of voice in different ways for each story they tell. You have an arsenal of weapons: setting, characterization, language, rhythm, vocabulary, plot, organization. In the end, there are no right or wrong answers; there are only stories that work or don't work.

Final suggestion: The chance to be right!

     Capriotti offers a final suggestion: "Tone is the core of the manuscript in some ways. If it's right, it's great; if it's wrong, it's hard to get it right. Go on to something else and come back with a fresh eye. Salvage what you can and begin again. If you have a great character, a great plot, a great element–take that and put it somewhere else where it has the chance to be right."

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