NX: Aurora Borealis

Aurora Borealis (A Fairy Tale for Big People)

Northern Exposure
Episode 1.8
Original CBS Air Date: 8/30/90

Written by: Charles Rosen
Directed by: Peter O'Fallon

Guest Stars:

Adam: Adam Arkin
Bernard: Richard Cummings, Jr.

Notes: Transcribed from the A&E channel's August 7, 1998 airing of this episode.
Although Grant Goodeve ("Rick") is listed in the "co-starring" credits, he does not appear in this episode as it aired on A&E, so apparently some small portion involving him was cut. Also, to the best of my knowledge, at least one exchange that is a part of the complete conversation between Joel and Ranger Burns was cut from this airing. You can find this missing Joel/Ranger Burns exchange at Kevin Wright's Culture NX collection of quotes for this episode.
Page created 8/11/98.

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[Chris on the the air at KBHR.]

CHRIS: Whenever there's a new moon looming on the on the horizon, I'll inevitably get a call from someone saying "Hey Chris, how about that sucker?" And I'll usually say something cordial like "Oh yeah, marvelous night for a moondance," or "I wonder what ol' Sun Young Moon is up to tonight." But knowing how we've been tossing and turning these past few nights for fear of where our dreams may be taking us, I'm not about to pretend that that man in that moon has our best interests at heart. No way. He's too much of a kidder. So until the big fellow packs his bags and hits the road, put away with those sharp utensils and stay close to your loved ones, if you're lucky enough to have any. I'll see you in the morning, folks, or in the moonlight, whichever comes first.

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[Joel shows Ed a few things about his golf game.]

JOEL: Notice when I swing my hips will swivel, my head stays down and my shoulders stay perfectly square. It's the classic form. You put it all together, knees slightly bent, shoulders relaxed, a firm but flexible grip, and this is what you get.

ED: Oh. Is it supposed to wander like that? I never could get into golf.

JOEL: Did you ever try it?

ED: Not my kind of game. The announcers always whisper and the nearest course is 600 miles away.

JOEL: You're missing the point, Ed. Golf isn't a game; it's a choice one makes with one's life.

ED: Huh. Hang out with people in funny-looking pants?

JOEL: That's not it at all. There's something intrinsically therapeutic about choosing to spend your time in a wide, open park-like setting that non-golfers can never truly understand.

ED: Uh huh.

JOEL: Hey Ed, what is this, is this a track?

ED: Looks like a track.

JOEL: Looks fresh. You know, not that I know what a fresh track looks like, but that . . . that's big, whatever it is. What? What is it? What's wrong?

ED: It's a bare footprint.

JOEL: As in grizzly bear footprint?

ED: No, more like as in a person with no shoes on.

JOEL: Wait a minute, what kind of person with a size 16FF and no arches walks around in the forest barefoot?

ED: When they brought you out here, I don't suppose anyone mentioned anything about Adam?

JOEL: Adam? Who's Adam?

ED: Well, I've never seen him.

JOEL: Him who?

ED: He's not a who, he's a what.

JOEL: Ok, ok. Point of clarification here. This Adam, are we dealing with a real person or is this a howling werewolf meets the Nanook kind of thing?

ED: They say he's real.

JOEL: What does he look like?

ED: He's big, broad-shouldered, flat-top head, kind of hulking. Green.

JOEL: That's Frankenstein!

ED: Oh yeah, well, like I said, I've never seen him. Probably doesn't exist.

JOEL: Well, what about this footprint?

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[At the Brick.]

RUTH-ANNE: Shelly dear?

SHELLY: Yes, Ruth-Anne?

RUTH-ANNE: This meat doesn't cut.

SHELLY: I don't suppose it could be the knife.

RUTH-ANNE: Oh, I don't think so. I'm sorry to keep making you make me supper at 8:00 in the morning, but this moon business is screwing my system all up.

SHELLY: Did you see the look on his face last night?

RUTH-ANNE: Who's that, dear?

SHELLY: The man in the moon. Just staring down as big as apple pie, like he's getting the biggest kick out of it.

RUTH-ANNE: I can't sleep, I can't eat . . . if this keeps up, I may have to go see Dr. Fleischman.

[In another area of the Brick.]

MAGGIE: Well, personally, I can take the rain, I can take the snow and the cold, but this moon is like sleeping with a search light on.

MAURICE: Oh, for crying out loud. Ed, run across the street and tell Chris to take the plugs out of his ears before I lose my appetite and my sanity.

ED: Chris isn't here this morning.

MAURICE: Well, I know he's fairly out there, but that's Chris. I can't change the man.

ED: No, I mean, he taped the morning show last night so he could work at home.

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[Maurice drives out to Chris' place.]

CHRIS: Maurice, why don't you just calm down for a second, huh? Take a breath?

MAURICE: We had a deal, Chris.

CHRIS: I know.

MAURICE: Our deal was that I would leave you alone and let you run the radio station. Well, I left you alone, and what did you do? You stayed out here with your . . . your . . . what the hell is this?

CHRIS: That's the Aurora Borealis, Maurice. The Northern Lights.

MAURICE: I know what the Aurora Borealis is, Chris. I've seen it up close and personal.

CHRIS: What, you don't like it?

MAURICE: I can't criticize what I don't understand. If you want to call this art, you've got the benefit of all my doubt.

CHRIS: Hey, I appreciate that, Maurice.

MAURICE: What's that?

CHRIS: That's the Milky Way, if I ever get it finished. See, that's why had to tape my show last night. I couldn't sleep and I want to get this thing mounted before the lights hit their peak.

MAURICE: I appreciate your time frame, son, but the Northern Lights are gonna be shining down whether you're here or not, and I'm paying you to be on the radio. Live. And while it's still in the morning.

CHRIS: You're right, you're right. (to woman helping with the sculpture): Hey Chelsea? If I don't see you before you leave, thanks for, uh, you know.

MAURICE: Hey Chris, where'd you hook up with this one?

CHRIS: Oh, I hiked out on Baker's Point for some granite for my lunar constellation.

MAURICE: You found her way the hell out on Baker's Point?

CHRIS: Uh hmm.

MAURICE: You got some snout, son. You're like a pig with truffles when it comes to the fillies.

CHRIS: Maurice . . .

MAURICE: Ah ah, no, go in there and get on some clean clothes.

CHRIS: Right.

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[Joel and Marilyn in the office.]

JOEL: Marilyn, I think we should review office procedure one more time, all right? When I ask for a patient's chart, I don't want a map to his house. I want his medical records. I am a doctor. It's a fine line, but I think you can see the difference, can't you? Who's next?

MARILYN: Ranger Burns.

JOEL: Where is he?

MARILYN: He's not here.

JOEL: Yes, I can see that. Where is he? Mount Hinlow?

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[Bernard rolls into town.]

BERNARD: Excuse me.

JOEL: Yeah.

BERNARD: Where am I?

JOEL: You know, I've been asking myself that same question since I got here. I finally figured out we are somewhere between the end of the line and the middle of nowhere.

BERNARD: Oh. Where is that on the map?

JOEL: Hey Ed! This man is lost. Talk to Ed. He's a native, he's got a great sense of direction.

BERNARD: Great. Thanks.

ED: Nice bike!

BERNARD: Thanks.

ED: New leathers, huh?

BERNARD: Yeah.

ED: Are you lost?

BERNARD: No, I just don't know where I am.

ED: You're in Cicely. Alaska.

BERNARD: Oh.

ED: On the cusp of the new Alaskan Riviera. So . . . you're black.

BERNARD: Yeah?

ED: We had a black logger here once, but he left.

BERNARD: Why's that?

ED: I guess he wasn't into drinking beer and fighting.

BERNARD: Ah. Great. Great.

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[Joel visits the general store.]

RUTH-ANNE: See you, Jeff. So, besides the medication for Ranger Burns, is there anything else we can help you with, Dr. Fleischman?

JOEL: Let's see . . . Sominex.

RUTH-ANNE: Sorry, all sold out.

JOEL: Oh, I could use some toothpaste.

RUTH-ANNE: Ok.

JOEL: Some shoelaces, a roll of stamps, couple of deadbolt locks and some kind of security alarm system.

RUTH-ANNE: Somebody been yammering about Adam?

JOEL: Adam . . . I haven't the slightest idea who--

RUTH-ANNE: The people in this county have been blaming every transgression, every mutilation, and every petty theft for the last 15 years on some character that nobody has ever seen before. It's ridiculous.

JOEL: That's good to know.

RUTH-ANNE: However, somebody, or some thing, with humongous feet, broke into Belle Hubley's place and took off with her Cuisinart and her Holy Bible.

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[Back the Brick.]

HOLLING: What'll you have this morning, Christopher? Eggs? Bacon? Moonlight Sonata?

CHRIS: No more taped delays. Live radio from here on out.

SHELLY: What were you talking about this morning? "Yoong" and, what was that other stuff?

CHRIS: The collective unconscious.

SHELLY: Do they tour, or do they just cut records? I missed something, didn't I.

CHRIS: Well, I'll be reading excerpts from Jung and his study on man and his symbols all week, so you can catch up.

BERNARD: That was you on the radio?

CHRIS: Yeah.

BERNARD: Interesting. Very interesting.

CHRIS: You read any Jung?

BERNARD: No, but I've had some strange dreams lately. Very strange.

SHELLY: Me too.

CHRIS: Well, everybody does. I mean, Jung says that dreams are the woofer and tweeter of the total sound system.

BERNARD: Then perhaps you'll know what I'm talking about. It's crazy. One morning you're living your life in Portland. You get up and go to work at the IRS. Nothing special. Then you have this dream, or at least you think it's a dream, but you're not sure. So you quit your job, you sell your condo and you buy yourself a Harley, although you're afraid of motorcycles. And then you head north, with no fixed destination in mind, but you know you've got to keep going and going and going. And just when you thought you'd lost touch with everything that was once real, you find yourself in Cicely, Alaska, on the cusp of the new Alaskan Riviera. You know what I mean?

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

BERNARD: You do?

CHRIS: Yeah.

HOLLING: More coffee, Chris?

CHRIS: Yeah, thanks, Holling.

SHELLY: Sir?

BERNARD: Yeah, please.

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[Joel makes it out to Ranger Burns' remote location.]

RANGER: Dr. Fleischman?

JOEL: Ranger Burns?

RANGER: Oh, boy, you are a sight for sore eyes. I was afraid you were gonna cancel out on me.

JOEL: Yeah, well, the thought crossed my mind when I turned on to your, uh, I'd say it was a mistake to describe it as a road.

RANGER: Yeah, well, it does get a little bumpy, especially with all those boulders on there. But you handled the curves better than most.

JOEL: Yeah? How do you know?

RANGER: Well I could, I just . . . I watched you for the last couple of miles.

JOEL: Oh, you can see that far?

RANGER: Well, on a clear day, you know, when it's not soupy like this, you can see for a hundred miles to the north, and, uh, two hundred miles to the, to the west, and, uh, anywhere between 220 and 251 miles to the, to the south and the east, you know, depending upon the climactic conditions and the atmospheric variables . . . well, uh, well . . . south . . . south . . .

JOEL: I can imagine. It must be quite a view.

RANGER: Well, it is when you can see it. Uh, well, why don't you come on up, take a look for yourself. It's a nice little walk, by the time we get up there, who knows, it may clear up.

JOEL: Ok.

RANGER BURNS: Come on.

[Up in the ranger's lookout tower.]

JOEL: So, from way up here, have you ever spotted anything unusual?

RANGER: Unusual? How so?

JOEL: Uh, I don't know, you know . . . big, green . . .

RANGER: Well, I've seen a lot of trees . . .

JOEL: Yeah, there are a lot of them.

JOEL: I gotta be honest with you, I kinda gave up on panoramic views ever since I lost it on the observation deck of the Empire State building, but this place is almost worth the 3 1/2 hour drive.

RANGER: I'm sorry, I probably should have come into town for my appointment, but the Park Service doesn't like me to leave my perch.

JOEL: Well, why?

RANGER: You never know when a fire's gonna break out.

JOEL: Yeah, that's true, but--

RANGER: I mean, I don't even want to think what might happen if I'm looking in the wrong direction and sparks start flying. And they wonder in Anchorage why I have bad migraines. It's a big, it's a big responsibility, waiting for disaster to happen. It's very stressful.

JOEL: Yeah of course, of course it is. Look, these are, you know, really strong tablets, so you go easy with them, ok?

RANGER: Are you leaving already?

JOEL: Yeah, I think I should be getting home before nightfall.

RANGER: Well, no, you'll be all right. It's still a full moon.

JOEL: Well, you know. Letterman, anyway. So I presume I take the alleged road back?

RANGER: Yeah, that's right, I'll watch you for about the first hour or so . . .

JOEL: Ok. Thanks a lot.

RANGER: No, thank you, Dr. Fleischman. Talking to you has made me feel, well, just a lot clearer.

JOEL: Good.

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[Chris shows Bernard his Aurora Borealis work-in-progress.]

CHRIS: I was thinking about putting the Ursa Major and vernal constellations over there, but I checked out this astronomy book and no constellations over there.

BERNARD: Have you considered painting it?

CHRIS: Well, it's not finished yet, you know. Why, should I?

BERNARD: It reminds me of the Northern Lights, the colors of which, I'm told, are extremely vivid.

CHRIS: That's incredible.

BERNARD: Extraordinary.

CHRIS: No, Bernard, I call my sculpture the Aurora Borealis. The Aurora Borealis and the Northern Lights are the same thing.

BERNARD: Interesting. What would you think about big bands of copper swirling on the periphery?

CHRIS: Yeah, that might work.

BERNARD: Protrusions?

CHRIS: I have a whole bag of protrusions I haven't even touched yet!

BERNARD: I can help you finish this.

CHRIS: Naw, I couldn't.

BERNARD: Hey, I'm not going anyplace. At least I don't think I am.

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[While driving back from meeting with Ranger Burns, Joel's truck breaks down in a dark, isolated area.]

JOEL: Oh God. God, God, God! Ok, ok, ok, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. Hey! Hey Ranger Burns! Ranger Burns! Ranger Burns! Hey!

[Scared by the howling of a wolf, Joel gives up checking the truck and hurries back inside the cab, locking the doors.]

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[Chris and Bernard play bridge with Maggie and Holling.]

CHRIS: Bernard . . . clubs, diamonds, hearts, spades.

BERNARD: It's all coming back. I think.

HOLLING: But you do play bridge.

BERNARD: Well, my father was an avid card player.

CHRIS: Mine too.

BERNARD: He taught us lots of games. I think bridge was one of them.

MAGGIE: We can play the first hand open face.

BERNARD: No, don't do anything different on my account.

HOLLING: You mind if I close these curtains? This moonlight is a bit too bright.

CHRIS: Bernard, communication is the key. It's important we be on the same wavelength.

BERNARD: Absolutely.

MAGGIE: All right. I dealt, I pass.

CHRIS: Pass.

HOLLING: Pass.

CHRIS: 13 points to open, five card--

BERNARD: Two clubs.

MAGGIE: Two clubs. Pass.

CHRIS: Three clubs.

HOLLING: Pass.

BERNARD: Three notrump?

CHRIS: All right! Yes. Perfect. Zippedy doo dah.

MAGGIE: All right.

HOLLING: Your lead, Maggie.

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[Still stranded, Joel tries to sleep in his truck with only the full moon to keep him company and the sounds of nature to scare him.]

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[The bridge game continues.]

BERNARD: It's a laydown.

HOLLING: Not again!

BERNARD: I crossruff the singleton, play the queen for finesse, and run the trump.

HOLLING: We've been skunked.

MAGGIE: Or hustled . . .

BERNARD: Beginners' luck, I assure you.

MAGGIE: Well, maybe a dinner break will cool you guys off.

CHRIS (simultaneous with Bernard): You know, Maggie, about dinner, I'm itching to get back to work on the Aurora Borealis.

BERNARD (simultaneous with Chris):Actually, I'm not hungry, I'm itching to get back to work on the Aurora Borealis . . .

MAGGIE: I understand.

CHRIS (simultaneous with Bernard): Thank you for the game.

BERNARD (simultaneous with Chris): Hope to see you again.

CHRIS AND BERNARD: Bye Maggie. Bye Holling.

MAGGIE: Bye.

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[Still stranded, Joel awakes to see a scruffy man in a blue knit ski cap scrounging around in the back of his truck.]

JOEL: Hey! What do you think you're doing? What do you think you're doing? Hey! Hey! No, no, come back! Hey! Come back! Hey, where are you going? Come back! You can rip me off, just don't leave me here! Please . . .

[The man leaves. Joel goes back to sleep but is soon awakened by the man knocking at his window.]

JOEL: Ow! God.

ADAM: Get out of the car. [Joel hesitates.] Suit yourself.

JOEL: Hey you! Hey wait! Wait! Where are you going? Stop!

[Joel runs after the man, following him through the woods to his cabin.]

JOEL: Hey, I thought my place was off the beaten path. I'm surprised you don't carry a passport. I mean, it's like you gotta travel two time zones to get here. If it weren't for that moon out there, I would have definitely lost you. You were moving--

ADAM: Hey, shut up!

JOEL: Ok. Ok. Fine.

ADAM: Sit down.

JOEL: No problem. That smells delicious. I haven't eaten anything si--

ADAM: I don't like people barging in on me, ok? I don't like people! You are a person, and I don't like people! You understand me?

JOEL: I can respect that. Really, really, I can. "Northern Italian Cuisine"?

ADAM: Give me that. Give me that!

JOEL: "The California Cookbook."

ADAM: Do you wanna die? Is that what you want?

JOEL: These are recipes for Szechuan dumplings!

ADAM: You know who I am? Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Do you know who I am?

JOEL: No.

ADAM: I'm Adam.

JOEL (amused): Well, I'm Chef Boyardee!

ADAM: What?

JOEL: You're not Adam.

ADAM: What do you mean, I'm not A--? I'm Adam!

JOEL: No, you're not. You're not Adam.

ADAM: Yes I am!

JOEL: You are not!

ADAM: I-- yes I am!

JOEL: You are not!

ADAM: Do I have to do something to prove to you that I'm Adam?

JOEL: Adam is a big, threatening, wild . . . I mean, granted, you're that, but he's not the kind of guy that stirs noodles in a wok.

ADAM: Oh, well how about if I kill you?

JOEL: Ok, fine, you wanna be Adam? You're Adam. Nice to meet you, Adam. Next time we'll try to do it at my house. We'll do a picnic.

ADAM: All right, we'll have a picnic. And maybe we can work on that lousy golf swing of yours.

[For the first time, Joel notices Adam's large bare feet.]

JOEL: Oh my God . . .

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[Chris and Bernard work on the sculpture.]

CHRIS: Time for this head to hit the pillow.

BERNARD: Good idea. Get some winks. I'll keep the coal fires burning.

CHRIS: What, are you kidding? We'll pick it up in the morning.

BERNARD: Nah, I prefer to work straight through.

CHRIS: Well, what for? I mean, we're way ahead of schedule now. Besides, you probably haven't slept in a while.

BERNARD: I haven't slept since I left Portland five days ago.

CHRIS: Five days ago?

BERNARD: Yeah.

CHRIS: Bernard, I started working on this five days ago.

BERNARD: You think it's a coincidence?

CHRIS: I don't know, but you must be awfully tired.

BERNARD: I don't sleep much. It must be hereditary. My father was an insomniac.

CHRIS: That's rough.

BERNARD: Pop made it work to his advantage. He was a truck driver, so he'd burn a lot of midnight rubber on those all-night cross-country trips.

CHRIS: Yeah, my daddy travelled around a lot too. He sold those greeting cards door-to-door. But he was a sound sleeper.

BERNARD: It's always the trade-off.

CHRIS: Well, you know, the thing I've missed most about not sleeping is the dreams.

BERNARD: It's my dreams that are keeping me awake.

CHRIS: Oh yeah? How's that work?

BERNARD: Ever since I left Portland, everything's been like a dream. I mean, coming to this town, meeting you, this sculpture, not to mention this crazy moon. And my single biggest nightmare is that I'll nod off and I'll fall asleep, then I'll have to wake up, and none of this will be as if it ever happened!

CHRIS: I can see how that can be a problem. You know, it's like Jung says: the unconscious is revealed through the imagery of our dreams, which express our innermost fears and our desires.

BERNARD: Jung said that?

CHRIS: Yeah, I think it was Jung. Or maybe Vincent Price.

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[Joel dines with Adam.]

JOEL: You know, in my circle in New York, I'm considered to be a connoisseur of dim sum. And . . . what?

ADAM: Do you have to talk with your mouth full?

JOEL: I just, I mean, these noodles are delicious! Where'd you learn to cook like this, anyway?

ADAM: My past is my past, and it belongs to me and nobody else, all right?

JOEL: All right.

ADAM: Only a fellow prisoner of war could understand why I have spent the last 15 years of my life in the solitude of the Alaskan bush--

JOEL: You were in Nam, huh?

ADAM: I said no questions!

JOEL: Ok, I'm sorry.

ADAM: Yeah, I was there. I was there when the Tet offensive was launched, I was there when Saigon fell, and I was there reducing a cream sauce with a beaucoup lovely from Pleiku when Charlie came out of nowhere and ambushed her kitchen. She taught me everything I know about poultry. And I told you I didn't want to talk about it!

JOEL: Sorry. You know, I'm trying to isolate, what's the flavor that makes these noodles--

ADAM: It's cumin!! All right? Are you satisfied now? It's cumin.

JOEL: I knew it was cumin. Of course. It reminds me of this little place in TriBeCa that Elaine discovered before it became trendy.

ADAM: The Five Flavors Cafe.

JOEL: Yeah! That's it!

ADAM: Oh, that figures.

JOEL: Look, Adam, I know you don't like it when I pry, but how does someone from the wilderness hear about a little hole in the wall in lower Manhattan?

ADAM: The head chef there is a guy named JoJo Tseng.

JOEL: Really?

ADAM: Yes, he was in my cooking class at the Bremen Institute in Buffalo where he proceeded to steal my veal and get a very favorable mention in Vanity Fair, thank you very much!

JOEL: You went to cooking school in Buffalo?

ADAM: Hey, no Buffalo jokes.

JOEL: Didn't you just say that you'd been hiding out in the bush for the last 15 years?

ADAM: You know, you're starting to get on my nerves.

JOEL: Ok. Ok.

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[Chris and Bernard prepare to go to sleep in Chris' trailer.]

BERNARD: You don't have to go to all this trouble on my account.

CHRIS: No trouble. You get the bed, I get the bag and the blinders.

BERNARD: I might as well be on the floor because I'm gonna be the one staring up at the ceiling.

CHRIS: Hey, no negativity now. You be comfortable.

BERNARD: I'm not tired.

CHRIS: You will be. Just take a deep breath, let your eyes get heavy. Wow. [Bernard falls asleep instantly.] Sleep tight.

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[Chris and Bernard share a dream.]

LITTLE CHRIS: Five! Four! Three! Two! One!

MS. STEVENS: Christopher? Christopher Robin?

LITTLE CHRIS: Yes, Mama?

MS. STEVENS: Your father forgot his balls again.

LITTLE CHRIS: Daddy! Daddy! You forgot your balls again!

[Little Chris runs out to his dad's truck to give him his balls. As he steps into the truck cab, he becomes adult Chris.]

CHRIS: Bernard!

BERNARD: Chris, what are you doing here?

CHRIS: Oh, Dad forgot his balls again. Bum stuff, what can I say? What'd you do to your hair?

BERNARD: I look like a thin Barry White, don't I.

CHRIS: Yeah, you do.

BERNARD: That's why I don't care much for dreams. You can never control the way you look, and people wander in and out and foul up the continuity.

CHRIS: Well, excuse me, Bernard, but I didn't wander into your dream. This is my basic, come-as-you-are recurring dream where I chase after my father for attention.

BERNARD: Then what are you doing in my daddy's truck?

CHRIS: Good point. Maybe we'd better ask him who's got first dibs on the dream.

BERNARD (to man driving the truck): Excuse me, have you seen my father?

JUNG: No.

BERNARD: Guess you win.

CHRIS: He's not my daddy.

CHRIS AND BERNARD: Who are you?

JUNG: Hello, boys. I am Carl Jung, and while I know much about the collective unconscious, I don't know how to drive!

CHRIS AND BERNARD: Aghhhhh!!!!!

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[Chris and Bernard awake from their shared dream.]

CHRIS: Whoa! Whoa!

BERNARD: Whoa!

CHRIS: Hey!

BERNARD: Whoa!

CHRIS: Hi whoa. You want a cigarette?

BERNARD: I don't smoke.

CHRIS: Neither do I.

[Chris and Bernard sit outside the trailer, smoking.]

BERNARD: So those Northern Lights are some kind of weird psychic something, huh?

CHRIS: Yeah.

BERNARD: What causes them to do that?

CHRIS: Well, this is just my guess, but I think that high speed electrons and protons from the sun are trapped in the Van Allen radiation belt, then are channeled through the polar regions by the earth's magnetic field where they collide with other particles and create a brilliant luminosity.

BERNARD: What does that have to do with us?

CHRIS: I honestly don't know.

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[Adam gives Joel a few cooking tips.]

JOEL: Is that right?

ADAM: No, that's too much cumin.

JOEL: All right, all right, all right . . .

ADAM: And your flame is much too high . . .

JOEL: Ok, ok! Relax!

ADAM: Come here. Look. Hold this correctly, ok? It's a spoon, all right, it's not a darning needle. I'm serious!

JOEL: I'm sorry. I got it, I got it.

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[Joel awakes the next morning in Adam's cabin. Adam is not there, but has left coffee for Joel.]

JOEL: Adam? Decaf and regular.

[Joel finds his way back to his truck.]

Hello, Adam? Adam? Adam? Adam? Hey Adam!

Ah, ow! Ow.

Oh yeah . . . please please please . . . Yes!! [The truck starts.]

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

[The folks look at the completed Aurora Borealis sculpture.]

ED: Big.

SHELLY: What's it called?

HOLLING: The Aurora Borealis.

MAURICE: I would have called it rust and rim.

SHELLY: I love it. I love everything about it.

MAURICE: You do, huh?

SHELLY: I love the rust, I love the moon, and I love the stars.

HOLLING: You should see them play bridge.

ED: Sure is big.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

[The Brick.]

MAGGIE: Great show this morning, guys.

CHRIS AND BERNARD: Thanks.

MAURICE: Level with me, Maggie. What do you make of that sculpture they have out there?

MAGGIE: I'm not sure I understand it. But I like it.

JOEL: Ed.

ED: Hi, Dr. Fleischman.

MAGGIE: Well, look who survived his first night in the bunker.

ED: Did you happen to notice the moon last night? It made me think of you.

JOEL: That's nice. Ed!

ED: Look up next time!

JOEL (whispering to Ed): I saw him! He's real.

ED: He is?

JOEL: He was as close to me as I am to you.

ED: Wow! What'd he look like?

JOEL: He's really hairy.

ED: Wow! . . . Who?

JOEL: Adam!

ED (loud enough for the whole bar to hear): Adam? You saw Adam?

JOEL (to everyone): All right, all right, look, uhm, I know this is gonna sound nuts, but my truck broke down by the old fire road and Adam came out of the woods to fix it. But first, he he he fixed me the first truly spectacular meal I've had since I left Manhattan!

MAURICE: He fixed you dinner?

[Joel's talk of Adam causes laughter among all in the bar.]

JOEL: Yeah, go ahead, laugh all you want, but he was there, and I was there, and he is very real.

MAURICE: Son, if you think you're gonna get out of our employment agreement with this psychobabble routine, you've got another think coming.

JOEL: I am telling you people the truth! He minces with Belle's Cuisinart, and the reason he took a Bible is because it was on the kitchen counter. He thought it was a cookbook!

RUTH-ANNE: A cookbook?

JOEL: Yes! He collects them. And I know it sounds insane, but--

SHELLY: You had the Tuna Supreme?

JOEL: Look, you gotta listen to me. Please, please!

CHRIS: I believe you, Joel.

JOEL: You do? Why?

CHRIS: Well, it all depends on how you define Adam.

JOEL: What do you mean, define?

BERNARD: What Chris is saying, and correct me if I'm wrong, it's one thing if Adam is a reincarnation of Bigfoot.

CHRIS: Quite another if he's some lost soul who . . .

BERNARD: For whatever reason . . .

CHRIS: Decided to check out of the human race.

JOEL: Yeah, exactly!

MAURICE: Bullclap!!

CHRIS: Well, hey, Maurice, stranger things have happened. My daddy, he travelled around a lot for work. Every other year, he missed my birthday.

BERNARD: That's how it was with my daddy!

CHRIS: Really?

BERNARD: It was terrible. Every other July 3rd, he'd be on the road. Consequently, I feel half as old as I should be.

CHRIS: Your birthday is July 3rd?

BERNARD: July 3rd, 1963. What?

CHRIS: I was born July 3, 1963.

CHRIS AND BERNARD: You have a picture of your father?!?

ED (looking at the pictures pulled out by both Chris and Bernard): Ha. That's the same picture.

CHRIS: That means when Daddy left Mama and me for weeks at a time, he was . . .

BERNARD: With us!

CHRIS: Well, that makes Daddy a . . .

CHRIS AND BERNARD: Travelling man!

HOLLING: I knew something was up by the way they played bridge.

MAURICE: This is getting way too weird for my tastebuds.

JOEL: Hey, if I introduced you to Adam, would you believe me?

MAGGIE: Just give it up, Fleischman.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

[Chris and Bernard say goodbye.]

CHRIS: You know, growing up, I always used to look up at the night sky and wonder why there was something . . .

BERNARD: Missing.

CHRIS: Yeah. The auroras are so much more magical than anything I could ever imagine.

BERNARD: Yeah, nobody could have dreamt this.

CHRIS: The wolves are quiet.

BERNARD: Yeah.

CHRIS: You know, Bernard, I always felt like I had a brother.

BERNARD: I always thought you were black. Look, if you ever have any trouble with the IRS . . .

CHRIS: I don't pay taxes.

BERNARD: You ever get down to Portland?

CHRIS: I will now.

BERNARD: Wow. Just look at them. Hey, remember me when you look up at those auroras.

CHRIS: Yeah, you too. You know, you can see them down there five days out of every year, where you are. You just got to perceive them.

BERNARD: Which five days?

CHRIS: You never know. You just gotta keep looking.

[Bernard rolls out.]

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

[Joel takes Maggie and Ed out to what is now Adam's empty cabin.]

MAGGIE: Fleischman, what are we doing here?

JOEL: Adam?

ED: Totally dark, Dr. Fleischman.

JOEL: It's so weird. Adam! Adam? I don't understand. What's that over there?

ED: It's empty.

MAGGIE: I'm going home. Let's go, Fleischman. Let's go.

JOEL: Maybe it was a dream.

ED: What's this?

MAGGIE: Nothing.

JOEL: Nothing, huh? You call that nothing? That is a garlic press. That is a garlic press.

ED: Wow! A garlic press!

JOEL: Garlic press, that's a garlic press! That's the garlic press!

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

[Maurice takes another look at the sculpture at night.]

MAURICE: I get it!

[But then he decides he doesn't. Or doesn't want to.]

Red Aurora

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

NX Episode Transcripts