Author's Commentary
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It is nonsense, with a purpose. |
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Garden Hose Safety Options
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GHS-101
; AP
GHS ;
GHS First
Aid
Will a Mr. R.C. Thompson please raise his hand?
No!
On this Website...
I can not pretend that there is some other website or brainchild for me to attribute my elusive initials to. This is the entirety of my body of work on the web. I won't evade the fact that the topic for this web site is beyond unusual. It was my goal to create a site unlike any other and I like to think that here at Garden Hose Safety I've managed to achieve that goal. Since concieving this work of art I have managed to dream up a cerebral explanation for my lunacy. It is as follows:
The Philosophy Behind Garden Hose Safety
Garden Hose Safety is a topic rarely, if at all, discussed by educators in the field of safety. I, a self-proclaimed educator in this course of study, am quite possibly a pioneer in investigating the dangers of household irrigation. Despite my light-hearted approach the underlying principles of GHS are a very serious matter.
Common sense is normally the first thing a person abandons while in a comfortable setting, such as their yard. Accidents and fatalities happen daily in households world wide as a result of a temporary breech in the flow of common sense to the brain. People fall from roofs, get hit with fallen branches, stumble into sharp objects, run over feet, inadvertently fling rocks, and walk into inanimate objects frequently because of a passing stupidity or clumsiness that comes over them. It's pleasant to feel safe and comfortable at home and I'm not saying that you can't. I am merely trying to iterate the fact that we are constantly surrounded by hazards and need to be aware of them. Memorizing every possible misfortune that can potentially befall an earthling is not feasible. Being aware of dangers and knowing how to recover from accidents is the best medicine for unsafe living.
Since it is not possible to create a complete collection of safety precautions for every day living I decided to pick one small facet of the gigantic school of learning that is the institution of safety. By pointing out the dangers, no matter how rare, of this one tool I have been able to subtly deliver the message "hazards are all around." By adding a twist of outlandish humor I have created a 5-page warning not prone to bore visitors to tears. I hope you've enjoyed or will enjoy my own little brainchild and thank you for visiting Garden Hose Safety.
Roses are red, Hoses are green...
My incessant rhyming and oddly placed poems about electrecution and green gardens should give you a hint as to my literary skills outside of being an internet humorist. My poetry is, collectively, not very deep. I write about taking the dog for a walk, eating dinner (at midnight), and enjoying the sun just before twilight. It may sound warm and fuzzy,but it's actually rather inclined not to inspire any gag reflexes, or at least I think so. Well, it's best that I leave it at that. The longer I ramble on the subject the more my tough-guy exterior deteriorates.
Without further ado, I present to you: The End!
For the first time since the page was first created I have nothing more to say. For those historians keeping track of my adventures of the world wide web let it be recorded that these words were the last addition to the content of this page as of the 13th of March 2000.
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