"The Grand Illusion"

by

Bobbie Nelson

I dry myself and spray on a mist of perfume
Smells so pretty, so feminine
Slowly I get dressed
Panties, hose, bra and a slip
I feel so pretty, so feminine
I pull my dress over my head a smooth it down my body
I feel so alive
So happy, so content.

As I bend down to pick-up my towel
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror
I stop
Something is wrong
I turn away
Again I look at my clothing
Think about how I feel
So pretty, so feminine
I am a woman
My eyes were just playing tricks
Again I am happy and content.

Again I turn to look into the mirror
I am shocked at what I see
That's not my face
It can't be
I'm pretty and feminine
I am a female
The person staring back at me is a man
That's not me
I'm pretty and feminine
Fear and confusion enter my mind.

As I study the image in the mirror
I look into the eyes
It breaks my heart so see what's in them
Such sadness
Confusion
Disappointment
Fear
Fear, of living
Fear of being in the wrong body
I see hatred for the man on the outside
Love for the woman trapped within
I turn away
Feel the tears start to flow down my cheeks
I was wrong
I am not pretty and feminine
It was all an Illusion.