by
Rachel Miller
Addressing the spiritual issues of those who feel excluded from the church because they are different in some way seemed an ultra-clear direction for me. It presented an opportunity to use my experiences as a cross-dresser to benefit others who have been disenfranchised for any number of reasons. Yet after penning the initial article, my ideas froze in mid-thought. I found myself embarked on a major new journey with no story line. Had I taken the wrong trail? Eventually it became apparent that it was the right trail, but I was missing the backpack containing everything I needed for the trip!
I had become comfortable by Emailing intellectual tidbits from the safety of my computer. I wasn't experiencing anything new. Whatever value my book and articles have had, has come from recounting what I have learned by actually doing something. While I had corresponded with my pastor about a ministry, I had failed to make a personal commitment to take any specific action.
That condition changed a few weeks ago when I proposed launching what I called the "Mulch Pile Ministry" at our church. Its focus is on creating loving relationships based on truth. The following is a lightly edited version of the letter I sent to my pastor. Since writing it I feel that I'm finally back on the right path and expect that these articles will follow the trail of my actual footsteps. Hopefully others will see value in them and widen the trail into a well-traveled route providing spiritual relief to many in desperate need. I hope you'll decide to pack your bags and make a similar trip.
Best wishes,
Rachel
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I am proposing the creation of a new ministry to help meet our purpose of leading people into a personal and growing relationship with Jesus Christ through our value of authentic community; i.e. encouraging people to develop loving relationships based on truth.
I spent most of my life wrestling with the issue of cross-dressing yet felt that the church was the very last place to seek help. Rather than an outflow of God's love and acceptance, I had found judgment and condemnation. The projection of that attitude tended to keep me away from church and became a barrier to a loving, intimate relationship with my Creator.
Unfortunately many people, carrying all types of burdens, share a similar experience. Even though the Gospels proclaim the Good News of God's unconditional love, many continue to feel excluded and believe that the church does not help those who are outside the normal boundaries. Many have found help elsewhere but it is devoid of any significant spiritual foundation.
At our Inquirer's class (a class for people considering joining the church) you said that the essence of the church is to make it big enough to let everybody in. Ever since, I have heard continual messages of love and inclusion from you and the rest of the staff. One paragraph from your book struck a chord deep within me -- "There is nothing that provides more freedom and security than knowing that someone has honestly seen you without your protective walls and still loves you. A deeper, richer relationship can blossom from persevering in the mulch pile of real life." It made me realize that if the church provided that sort of truthful, loving environment, we could find God's lasting answers rather than the superficial answers of the secular world.
My proposal is to start a Mulch Pile Ministry where those who have lived or are living in the "avoidable world" (in a recent sermon he talked about how we avoid people who make us uncomfortable because they are different) you recently described, can come together to practice God's love for each other without our customary protective walls. The song Let the Walls Fall Down was introduced at my first Sunday service and would be a great theme song for this ministry.
I have lived this life of shame, guilt and pain and shed tears of compassion for others that are still suffering. My writing and speaking in the transgendered community (also the educational and medical communities) has focused on helping others. Telling my secret freed me from its bondage and making myself vulnerable encouraged others to share their burden with someone they could trust. I want to tell my story as a way to start this ministry and to help others find God's yoke of peace. I believe that this is my spiritual home and that working in this area is my spiritual gift. I have the passion and commitment to stay the course. I am anxious to work with you and other members of the church to implement this idea so please let me know how to proceed.
