"Deep Rooted"

by

Caryn LeMur

Where is God found? Where is He
- when we have given all for Him;
- when we have celebrated great successes;
- when we have lived deep failures;
- when joy overtook us; and
- depression overran us?

I looked for the fire to be rekindled,
but among the ashes, I found few coals barely warm.
I looked for the wind to break down rocks
and as I waited, I felt only the most quiet of breezes.
I strained to hear the thundering voice,
but among the storms of life, I heard no Father speaking
reassurance to His child.

Where is God found? Where is He
- when the flute is played and
my heart does not dance;
- when my lips sing His praise and
my heart has no song;
- when I long for my soul's spring to return,
but autumn surrounds my thoughts?

I wept. And my tears streamed down my face.

Where is God found?

I had asked; I had sought; I had knocked
until my voice was hoarse; my eyes weary; and
the skin that covered my knuckles was raw worn.
But there was no answer;
there was no finding; and
there was no door that opened.

I curled up to sleep on the floor, and drifted off exhausted.

In the morning, I awoke,
And then His Spirit whispered,
"Faith grows, not by the answer given,
but by the answer delayed."

And then He reminded me of my garden,
and young plants watered every day,
but older plants watered but once a week;
And He showed me the difference in their roots;
And then He took me to see
a huge tree toppled over,
its shallow roots unable
to hold its own weight;
and then to a tree 1,000 years old
still blooming every spring,
for it was
deep rooted.

He then whispered, "If I had watered you
as at the first,
You would never have withstood the storms."

And then, He was gone again.

And so, all is different now.
I no longer pray for the fire, the wind, nor the voice;
I no longer worry for the flute, the songs, or the autumn;
I no longer cry out, 'Where is God found?'

For I understand.

Out of love, He delayed His answers.

And on my branches, worship is borne out like flowers,

For

I am now deep rooted.

Much love,
Caryn

(c) copyright 2008, Caryn LeMur, used by permission of the authoress given April 24, 2008; letter on file.