The soldiers of our Queen Are linked in friendly tether; Upon the battle scene They fight the foe together. There ev'ry mother's son Prepared to fight and fall is; The enemy of one The enemy of all is! The enemy of one The enemy of all is!

The Gilbert & Sullivan Very Light Opera Company decided that one verse was not enough for The Soldiers of our Queen. So we added the following second verse in our 1990 performance of Patience.

The soldiers of our Queen Are doughty strong and fearless; For Military Spleen We're reckoned to be peerless. From danger we don't shrink And here's are main attraction; We do before we think For we are men of action! We do before we think For we are men of action!

There were two verses in the *original* version of "Patience" where, as no doubt you know, Gilbert planned to have rival clergymen instead of poets, but this never even got into rehearsal. The Dragoons were also originally Hussars, so the first verse was slightly different. The two verses were;

The twenty-first hussars, Are linked in friendly tether; Upon the field of Mars The fight the foe together. There every mother's son Prepared to fight and fall is; The enemy of one The enemy of all is! The enemy of one The enemy of all is!

United as a clan We have arranged between us To introduce this plan Within the courts of Venus: With one emotion stirred Beneath our belts of leather, The Colonel gives the word And all propose together! The Colonel gives the word And all propose together!

I think you'll agree with me that this second verse would easily go with the "dragoon" version of verse 1, and if I were ever producing "Patience" I'd use both - the tune is much too good to restrict to just one verse. And I don't think there is any question of copyright whatsoever, since these words were never even officially published in the first place. If they had been, they'd have been out of copyright as long as all Gilbert's other works.

The author of the following verses has requested that they be published anonymously.

The soldiers of our Queen Have military muscle; For shooting we are keen, And how we love a tussle! In battle none so brave In strategy or combat; Our banner high we wave -- A rampant azure wombat! Our banner high we wave -- A rampant azure wombat!	The soldiers of our Queen Are very heavy eaters; We dine in the canteen, And drink our beer in litres. Raw meat we never scorn From sheep or pig or cattle, But when we hear the horn We waddle off to battle! But when we hear the horn We waddle off to battle!
The soldiers of our Queen Are selfish, vain, and stuffy; At meals and in between, We quarrel and get huffy. We often cheat at cards, Our tempers are appalling, So when we joined the guards, We knew we'd found our calling! So when we joined the guards, We knew we'd found our calling!	The soldiers of our Queen Like breaking in our horses; With spur and rowel keen, We let them know what force is. With women, too, we claim: Apply the reins and halter, And when we have them tame, We bring them to the altar! And when we have them tame, We bring them to the altar!
The soldiers of our Queen Are full of spit and polish; Our boots are always clean, The foe we will demolish. And so we sing this song To demonstrate our forces; We're bold and fierce and strong, Admired by our horses. We're bold and fierce and strong, Admired by our horses.	The soldiers of our Queen Spend too much time with horses; With women we turn green And don't know what our course is. We're nervous, awkward, scared, And apt to shy and sidle, Completely unprepared To end up in a bridal. Completely unprepared To end up in a bridal.
The soldiers of our Queen Are poor at golf and tennis; At polo on the green Our riding is a menace. And when we're shooting grouse With gun or bow and arrow, You'd best stay in the house, And offer up a prayer-O! You'd best stay in the house, And offer up a prayer-O!	The soldiers of our Queen Are paragons of power; We're stalwart, brave, and clean; We make the foeman cower. With women we've no peer, They love our manly chorus; They tremble when we're near Because they all adore us. They tremble when we're near Because they all adore us.
The soldiers of our Queen Are fond of blood and thunder; Our regiment's routine Is now the seventh wonder. We fight and shoot and ride, And drink and swear like Hades, Except when we're beside Our mothers or our ladies. Except when we're beside Our mothers or our ladies.	The soldiers of our Queen Have visions of their marriage: A wife in bombazine Sits stiffly in a carriage; The center of her life Is her dragoonish dearie. (Oh, sisters, such a wife Would very soon grow weary!) (Oh, sisters, such a wife Would very soon grow weary!)
The soldiers of our Queen Are dangerous and daring, Competitive and keen, We revel in war-faring; Off-duty it's the same, Our skill needs no direction; We win at every game Because we are perfection! We win at every game Because we are perfection!	The soldiers of our Queen Are right to be conceited; In battle we are keen, We've never been defeated. In courtship, we are grand; We're ardent, bold, and plucky, And when we win her hand, The lady knows she's lucky. And when we win her hand, The lady knows she's lucky.
The soldiers of our Queen Are not like normal people; We love to make a scene (At church, we climb the steeple); Our voices are too loud, We've lots of red corpuscles, And we can draw a crowd Each time we flex our muscles. And we can draw a crowd Each time we flex our muscles.	The soldiers of our Queen Are not in The Mikado. No vase or jar or screen Can picture our bravado. No wandering minstrel we Who loves some geisha cutie; An English girl for me Great Britain, Home, and Duty! An English girl for me Great Britain, Home, and Duty!
The soldiers of our Queen Are everywhere admired -- Our fingernails are clean; Our marching is inspired. The ladies note our charms, And pledge their love eternal; To them we give our arms, (By order of the Colonel). To them we give our arms, (By order of the Colonel).	The soldiers of our Queen Could never be artistic, But envy turns them green (Oh, aren't they atavistic!). Though Bunthorne they deride And think his verses funny, It cannot be denied: The ladies all love Bunny! It cannot be denied: The ladies all love Bunny!
The soldiers of our Queen Drink pots of tea and coffee, Ingest too much caffeine, And top it off with toffee! Their diet is the thing Affects both work and slumber; They're jumpy when they sing -- Just watch their opening number!	The soldiers of our Queen Mix Perrier with their whisky; All heedless of benzine, They soon are loud and frisky. Outrageous, rowdy, rude (Don't blame it on the water), They're brutish, base, and crude -- Don't let one near your daughter! They're brutish, base, and crude -- Don't let one near your daughter!
The soldiers of our Queen Have no aesthetic feeling; Each one's a philistine, His bourgeois soul revealing. It simply must be faced: They have no inner fire; Their only mark of taste -- The ladies they admire. Their only mark of taste -- The ladies they admire.

The following assume that the solidiers are actually actors performing Patience.

The soldiers of our Queen Have scrapy, scratchy faces; Their whiskers like baleen They count among their graces. To press that prickly cheek Is no romantic dally; If gratitude you'd seek, Please shave for the finale! If gratitude you'd seek, Please shave for the finale!	The soldiers of our Queen Are just a trifle nervous; Some look a little green And mutter, "Saints preserve us!" For this is opening night, Portending joy or sorrow; Let's hope we get things right -- Or better luck tomorrow! Let's hope we get things right -- Or better luck tomorrow!
The soldiers of our Queen In social skills are lacking; At parties they convene To concentrate on snacking. With manners coarse and crude, They bluster, boast, and bellow, And eat up all the food (Unless it's veg. or jello)! And eat up all the food (Unless it's veg. or jello)!

The following is specific to the fire at the Savoy that occurred during our rehearsals for Patience.

This soldier of our Queen So history discloses, Adorned the Savoy scene With military poses. But recently we learned, Dismayed to hear the story, The Savoy has been burned-- The scene of former glory! The Savoy has been burned-- The scene of former glory!

I used the following verses as my biography for Patience.

This soldier of our Queen Is also set designer; A company chorine He married (no one finer!). Nine years he's been around; Three sets he has created; His carpentry is sound (His singing too, it's stated). His carpentry is sound (His singing too, it's stated).

This soldier of our Queen (Who's also set designer) Deserves the guillotine For crimes much more than minor. But why present his wrongs And ask for an arraignment? A show to do, and songs, Are better entertainment. A show to do, and songs, Are better entertainment.

More information about Patience can be found in Patience Home Page.

Parodies on several popular G&S songs can be found at the Gilbert and Sullivan Parody Archive.