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From a Parent Who Himself Has Lost Two Children.
First, empathy from a parent who has faced similar pain.
First let me say that I cry with you for the loss of your children. I can emphasize in truth because I myself have recently (March 16, 1995) lost two of my children in a sudden and unexpected tragedy. My son Patrick aged 15 and my daughter Roxann aged 13 were killed in a car wreck. From out of a normal day came frightening news, and I rushed to gain information. Only to find earth shattering unendurable facts. I know the emptiness and pain you feel. It is beyond description. The closest I can say is that it is like someone cut your heart out, and along with it all your hope and dashed it on the floor before your eyes. But it is even worse than that.. because you would gladly trade for that over what you really face; for yourself you would sacrifice in favor of safety for that precious child. If only you could make that trade. I know you have prayed for that trade, as I did when my children died.
Now you are desolate, nothing matters, and the disbelief is so overwhelming that you expect someone to just say "April Fool" and it will all be back to normal. Despite your wishes and prayers, this terrible thing will not just go away. Now you must face the unrelenting fact of that lifeless little one.
This last year since the tragedy has been the hardest of my life, and I feel deeply for you and the pain that lies before you as well as what lies behind. The loss seems total.
Hope of Reuniting with your precious child
I am here to proclaim to you that you have a path of complete victory, including the recovery of your child. Yes, you can gain back that precious one. It is a free gift for you, paid by our dear saviour Jesus Christ. Your children are playing with the dear Saviour in heaven right now, and you can join them there if you will but accept Jesus free gift of salvation. Then when you die, or at the rapture, you will be reunited with your child, in a wonderful place of no evil, and you can never loose them again.
Let me tell you about the status of your child. I myself was so consumed in the first days after the tragedy to learn where my children were. Where they just cold and dead in a coffin? Were they in hell being tortured yet further by evil powers? Where they in heaven? These things torture you and you seek to know and protect your child.
Let me reassure you that if your child was very young (less than 10 or so) then they had not yet reached the age of understanding so that they themselves could choose our Lord. As a result they have a free ticket to heaven. There is no doubt about it. They are in Jesus care this day.
This can also be true up until maybe 17 or so.. everyone reaches the age of understanding at different individual times. However, at some point they understand these issues and are tehn accountable for their actions. Once they reach this age they must accept the Lord Jesus as their personal saviour to make it to heaven.
Even if you think your child had passed the age of understanding and you think your child had not accepted Christ there is still hope. There are many stories of people who accepted Christ within hours of their death, and the family never knew it. Thus you still have hope that they did this, and that they are waiting for you in heaven.
Biblical evidence of your child's status
Biblical evidence of the status of young children who die is not explicit and clear, but we have hints and we have the nature of God. First to the hints. In II Samuel Chapter 12 verse 23 we see David pick himself up off the ground after the death of his child and return to a normal life. This shocked his servants who expected him to continue his mourning for the dying child. When they questioned David about his bizarre behavior his answer was: "But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."
The meaning of this is that we can not get our little child back while we are yet still here on Earth, but we shall go to be with them forever once we ourselves go to heaven. David was sure he was bound for heaven, and he knew his child was there also. So he knew he would be reunited with his child. Therefore he had no reason to continue to mourn, his son would be returned to him eternally once his tasks here on earth were finished.
Now to the nature of God. There are several defining characteristics of our God. One is love, another is justice. I know the second must be hard to accept right now. I know the felling of "why them" and "what did they ever do to deserve this". However, God's perspective is different than ours. Justice is ultimately served in the eternal status of your child, not in the circumstances of this life, or of their death. Surely, your child s removal from this world was unjust and evil to say the least. Your pain is undeserved, and unrelenting. However, your child is only dead in a physical sense. Dead to this world of evil. However, spiritually your child is very much alive in heaven. If your child were sentenced to hell, then that would be inconsistent with God's nature of justice. It would be an evil act to send these little ones to hell to be tortured by more evil beings. Therefore I know that due to God's just nature that they are in heaven.
Secondly is God's nature of Love, and especially his love for children. In Matthew 19 verses 13-15, in Mark 10 verses 13-16, and in Luke 18 verses 15-17 we read of a extraordinary event which shows the remarkable love God has for children. Here in the NIV version I give the passage from Matthew: "13 Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and to pray for them, but the disciples scolded the people. 14 Jesus said "Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. 15 He placed his hands on them and then went away."
The passage from Mark: "Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples scolded the people. When Jesus noticed this, he was angry and said to his disciples, "Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 13 I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." 16 Then he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them, and blessed them."
The passage from Luke: "15 Some people brought their babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. The disciples saw them and scolded them for doing so, 16 but Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 Remember this! Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."
From these remarkable passages we learn of Christ's love of children, and of his protection of them, and of his faith for them. He teaches us that we too as parents must accept him in childlike faith...not with parental adult reasoning and scientific proof. We must have simple faith in him, and his deliverance of our child from this world of evil to his heaven of eternal kindness.
Victory for you and Hope to go on
Now for you there is victory and hope that will sustain you in this tragedy. The complete recovery of your children is promised, in fact within your power is reunification in heaven. Jesus has paid the price for all the evil that you have done and for all the good you have left undone, and for every bad thing you will ever do. Jesus crys with you and offers you your child back for an eternity in a beautiful place where he provides protection from evil. We could not protect our children from this evil here on earth, but God can and will protect them. All we need to is accept him in a simple childlike way. If we do then we know for certain that we will get our children back once we go to heaven.
All that you have to do is to accept that you yourself can not earn salvation. That you yourself are inadequate. That only Jesus saving grace can help you. You admit your failings, and call upon the name of Jesus for salvation. You accept that Christ is the Son of God, and you promise to allow Christ to live within you. Then you must publically declare him lord of your life.
If you will do this simple thing, then evil has lost. You will not gain your child back while on earth... but you will gain them back for an eternity in heaven. They will greet you at the door to heaven. They will hug you and can love you forever. The evil one can never again harm your relationship and fellowship with them.
How to make your child Happy, even today, though they are gone.
The Bible tells us that there is a great celebration in heaven when a single soul accepts the Lord. Imagine the joy your child will have at the party for your soul on the day you accept the Lord. The child will then know that Mommy or Daddy are indeed coming to heaven to rejoin them. They miss you too. Here is how you can reassure them that you will not abandon them. Jesus will host the party and if you pray and ask Jesus for it, he will give your child a very special roll in that party. It will be more fun and pure joy than any thing your child has ever experienced.
Here is what I prayed for:
At the funeral of my son and daughter the entire town of Liberty Hill came to the funeral. My town is small. The church was filled to overflowing with some 800 people in attendance, which was the entire town. The spirit supported me, and I told them that I knew they were in heaven. I asked them to speculate if my kids were "good enough" to make it into heaven. I told them about the good things. I told them also that they were only human had had done many bad things. I asked them if they thought the good my kids had done outweighed the bad? They bravely nodded their heads to say yes they were... but inside they like I was not certain of that.
Then I reviewed the truth as to why I knew they were in heaven. I knew because I had talked to each of them while they lived and I was certain that they had accepted Jesus free gift. My children you see, were beyond the age of decision. They knew and understood Christ's message and had accepted him. You see, Heaven is not about how good YOU are, Heaven is about how good Jesus WAS. It is a done deal. Jesus paid it all. We can not add to or subtract from Jesus sacrifice upon the cross. All we need do to assure ourselves of eternal life is to forsake that we can earn it, and accept it in child like faith as a free gift from Jesus.
Now I told them that they could make Patrick and Roxann happy by accepting the Lord right now. That there would be a great party in heaven for each that accepted the Lord. I prayed to Jesus to have my son Patrick who loved basketball, shoot a 3 point shot for each of his buddies that would accept the lord. I prayed that Roxann who loved track and field and ran the mile, to run a mile in heaven for every friend that accepted the Lord.
Praise the Lord! Some dozen of them accepted Christ right then and there. What a party it must have been in Heaven! What a celebration in which my children were happy beyond description!
Now parents of children who have passed on, Imagine how happy your child will be to learn of your acceptance of our Lord Jesus! It will assure them that Mommy and Daddy are coming to be with them once again. Joy unspeakable!
I extend the party to you as well. Patrick will shoot hoops and Roxann will run the mile for each of you that accept the lord. What will your child do? Pray to Jesus and ask for that special role in the Party for your soul, and the party for the souls of all of that accept the lord.
What other option have you?
If you reject Christ, what hope do you have? You are eternally separated from your beloved children except through Christ. I encourage you to accept him and to reassure your child and yourself.
How to accept Christ
Below is a button to take you to the plan of salvation. I urge you to accept Christ and have the joy of knowing you will be reunited in Heaven with your child.
The Plan of Salvation
If you have lost a child... and would like to talk to me, I will be happy to share your suffering... I have suffered the pain my self and can understand. Please email me below.
 Havener's Haven |
 havenerJP@aol.com |