Sunday, June 11 Clarion: Here I Is

I made it. The trip was smooth, despite sporadic rain, and I had no trouble finding the place. This campus is huge, but this room is tiny. I've unpacked and gotten myself pretty settled in, though, so I'm already getting used my place here.

I missed the big get-acquainted brunch, and I've only met a couple of people so far. Not only are we on two separate floors, but scattered hither and yon across them. There's an orientation in a couple of hours, so I'll get to meet everyone by then.

Oh rats. It's raining again.

More later.

Monday, June 12 Clarion: And So It Begins

So now I've pretty much met everyone, as we had around-the-circle introductions at last night's orientation meeting. For me it was a bit of culture shock. You get impressions about people from what they say in e-mails, but of course people are so much more than that, and sometimes quite different. You can't tell who has an infectious laugh or who slouches and mumbles. You can't tell who likes to hear himself or herself talk and who's nervous or flighty. Not that anyone here is like that, of course. :) But I've had a good reminder that if you think you know someone solely by what they say online, then you don't really know them at all.

At the meeting we got the big list of dos and don'ts, and a good look at the way things work around here. It seems like a fun group so far. (I wonder what stress will do to us—we shall see.) The first session is in a couple of hours, and this week's instructor, Suzy McKee Charnas, urged us all to get busy writing. There will be at least one story turned in today, apparently, so the critiquing will start right away. I've already written about 2,700 words, and still managed to get to bed around 11. Not that that did me any good, as I stared at the ceiling until 1:30 or so, which gave me plenty of time to figure out how to keep this middle section of the story from being all dialogue. So, I better get to it.

Tuesday, June 13 Clarion: Good Morning

In a few hours we'll have our first critiquing session—five stories (though three of them are submission stories). I haven't finished reading them yet because I decided to complete the first draft of my story instead. It's 4,500 words long. If one more look at it doesn't turn up anything too embarrassing, then I'll print it out and drop it in the manuscript box this morning. I suspect I'll be one of many who submit manuscripts today and tomorrow.

So my little fridge is stocked after a trip to the much-talked-about Meijers, which seems to me to be to be like a Wal-Mart with a grocery store. Between that and what I brought with me, I won't starve to death here. I have no horror stories about the cafeteria yet, because I've only been down there once so far—to pick up a cup of yogurt and a SoBe. But it's early yet, and I'm sure I'll convince myself to try the cafeteria experience more fully one of these days. Watch for future reports.

I've seen a little more of the campus now, and it is as gorgeous here as I'd been told. Unfortunately, it's been raining on and off since I arrived, and it's cool again this morning. I packed for warm weather, so I'm kind of hoping it doesn't stay cool, yet at the same time, the hot stuff can wait, especially since my air-conditioner hasn't been installed yet. What a mass of contradiction I am this morning. Well, it's early. I'll wake up as soon as I get back to work.

Yesterday's session turned out to be enlightening in numerous ways. As there was nothing yet to critique, instructor Suzy McKee Charnas shared with us her perspective and experience on the business of being a writer, including the sorry state of publishing and the advantages and disadvantages we have trying to break in. All that can be rather discouraging, but it's nothing I haven't heard before. I'm still at it, and I'm here at Clarion, so I guess I haven't been sufficiently discouraged yet. :) She also discussed some ways to broaden our experiences so that what comes out on the page is more fertile (she compared the writer's mind to a compost heap), including reading more classics and works outside the genre, and taking care of your health because you cannot have a healthy mind without a healthy body. A couple of suggestions that were new to me and of particular interest were reading foreign newspapers to get a perspective different than what you're used to, and to see and read more plays, which have rich lessons in characterization, conciseness, and manipulation of the audience.

Whew. Suddenly I've become wordy. I'd better wrap this up now and get back to work. Later.

Wednesday, June 14 Clarion: Performance Anxiety

I think I learned my first important lesson yesterday, and it had nothing to do with writing. In an effort to get my first story finished, I didn't focus on the stories I was supposed to critique, figuring that I'd wing it like I do in my regular writers group. It quickly became apparent that people here are really on the ball. It gave me a kind of performance anxiety to have to share my opinions aloud. I'm never the most accomplished of speakers, but I found myself stumbling and stuttering like I haven't done in ages. At least I didn't say anything stupid. Some people further down the line even agreed with me on a point or two for each of the three stories we covered. Now we have three more stories for today, and I've approached them more like I do with online crits, that is to write out my comments. That helps me get my thoughts in better order, and I'll be able to provide more useful opinions and suggestions to my classmates.

I submitted my story, called "Gethsemane," and it's scheduled to be up for review tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it—so far.

After yesterday's session, I went out to lunch with Suzy and a few of my classmates. Topics of conversation ranged from movies to zepplins to diabetes. I'm glad I went. It's about the first spontaneous thing I've done with classmates here. I had this vision of more interaction between us writers, but so far I've spent most of my time working alone in my room or roaming campus or town on my own. Maybe that's because we're so scattered around the dorm. Maybe the folks up on the third floor are more social (there are more of them there). I could just be out of the loop altogether; it wouldn't be the first time. Or maybe things will change as time passes. It's early yet. We'll see.

Should anyone feeling like dropping me a post card or anything, I'm at:

Trey Thoelcke
Room W-253
Owen Graduate Center
Michigan State University
East Lansing MI 48825

It'll give me a reason to check the mail box. If that's too much like work, click on the link over at the left, the one under the Hunger Site button (and feel free to click on that button too). I hear that my hit count should have increased now that Clarion has started, but I'm still not going to check and find out. So send me a howdy if you'd like me to know you're out there. I'd love to hear from you.

Last and not least, I finally ate in the cafeteria yesterday. It really doesn't seem like a cafeteria to me, not like, say, a Luby's. It's really more of a snack bar. I had a grilled cheese with turkey. It wasn't bad, about what I'd expect from snack bar food. However, it sure didn't agree with me later. I'll spare you the details, but I'm going to have to be careful what I choose down there. Sorry, but I cannot buck the trend with regards to dorm food.

Thursday, June 15 Clarion: Moving Right Along

It seems I'm not the only one beginning to feel a little stir crazy. I answered a knock on my door, and there were a few of my companions checking to see who wanted to go out to dinner. I'd already had a microwave burrito, but I thought "What the hell" and went along. It felt good to get out after reading and critiquing stories all afternoon.

We've been a very productive group thus far, so much so that some people are concerned about that fact that more stories have been turned in than can be critiqued in session before the week is over. And it's been an amazing variety of such good stuff that it's making it hard for me to critique them.

I haven't yet decided what to work on next. I'm probably waiting to see how things work out with the review of my first story later today. I'm still looking forward to receiving feedback. On the whole, this group is fairly kind and supportive about the in-session critiques. So I'm not expecting to hug the skunk monkey or the blue bunny (yes it's still here—somebody asked, but I've forgotten who or where). The stuffed animals haven't gotten much of a workout so far this year.

I had my one-on-one session with the instructor. There were no great revelations or sagely advice. We just chatted for about an hour. She was very encouraging and supportive, but not in a blatant or patronizing manor. She's sharp and insightful, and was a lot of fun to talk to.

Other than that, it's still raining every day. I still have this great air-conditioner-shaped footrest. I'm sleeping okay and eating reasonably. So far so good.

Friday, June 16 Clarion: 'Twas a Good Day

I had the critique of my first story yesterday, and it was good. "Gethsemane," the story of a mad scientist's plot to acquire a genetic sample from Christ for cloning, engendered quite a bit of discussion and some excellent suggestions and ideas for improving the story, or even writing a whole different story or expanding it to a novel. I am very pleased.

We had seven more submissions yesterday, so the decision was made to have extra afternoon sessions yesterday and today, and maybe one on Saturday, in order to keep up with the deluge, and to make sure that everyone gets a critique from Suzy. Boy, we're sure keeping ourselves busy. I don't know where these people are finding the time to write. I feel like I'm just barely keeping up with the critiquing.

The whole group of us went out to dinner before Suzy's public reading. As always happens when you get a large group split up at long tables, the crowd ends up effectively separated into little groups, but everyone still appeared to have a good time. Topics around me ranged from good and bad books and movies, to crazy alcohol laws, to Japanese porn, to the influence Quebec has on the rest of Canada, to the labels we could stick on each other as writers. I for instance could end up as the Jesus writer, based on my first submission. Derek seemed to strongly resist the idea that he was the Disney writer. And I teased Buck earlier in the day about being the Master of Comedy, which actually fits pretty well. He's an incorrigible punster, and frequently references a wide variety of comedy movies, TV shows, and even record albums. His submission (one of the first) was a delightful Wodehousian space opera. A couple of nights ago, Kelly declared herself the digestive disease writer, and last night she also had an interesting notion (she was quite insistent about it in fact) that if ever extraterrestrials do land on Earth, that we should eat them if they taste good. I'm just about convinced. ... Maybe you had to be there. :)

For her public reading, Suzy read her Hugo-winning story "Boobs," the delightful tale of a young girl picked on because of her early development who also happens to become a werewolf. It was a fun story, and Suzy is a great reader. And when you let a group of writers loose in a great place like the The Archives Bookshop, the results are inevitable: Lots of us bought books. I picked up a replacement for my copy of Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand and Greg Frost's Crimson Spear.

And to show that my head isn't totally lost in a Clarion fog, I say: Go Karina! Go Rob! Go Julia! I wish you the best on your current challenges and projects.

Now I'm off to start something new before another pile of submissions lands in the box.

Saturday, June 17 Clarion: Saturday Already?

We had our last session with Suzy McKee Charnas this morning, and so the first week is over as far as official activities are concerned. I think we're all glad to have a break from critiquing, even though we've got five more stories lined up for Monday, and I know of at least two more that would have been turned in today, had that been possible.

I went out with a few of my classmates (Derek, Gavin, Karen, Chris, Buck, Jim, Kelly, and Jeff) last night for a couple of beers. It was a great break. I haven't laughed so much in a long time--my jaws ached when I got up this morning. Being the staid, suburban, family man that I have become, a quick dip in the pool of silly, ribald, outrageous company was quite a charge. I don't recall half of what was said, but it included surprising cultural differences (as we had people there from four different countries) including at least one brief interchange in Japanese, heads on sticks, the effectiveness of picking up women by mentioning that you're a science fiction writer, coitus with computers and starships, Michael Stipe, lesbian Halloween parties, Canadian nuclear weapons (or the lack thereof), and some interesting things that don't get said in the critique sessions. I now know for certain that some of the folks here are reading this journal or will probably do so soon (hi, guys!). The venue itself was a flashback to my days in college bars—the place was made out of plywood and duct tape, the acoustics were awful, and the bouncer was grimly serious about his duties but not very clever about carrying them out. He seemed to be baffled by the idea of checking someone's age with a passport, and a card that identified Kelly as a professor wasn't sufficient to convince him that she was indeed over eighteen.

This afternoon's plan is for a barbecue in Van Hoosen's courtyard. It'll be the farewell to Suzy, who leaves early tomorrow morning, and we'll get to meet Sean Stewart, next week's instructor, when he arrives.

I suppose I should take a moment to reflect on what I've learned this week. The thing that leaps immediately to mind is that critiquing is hard work and I don't think that I'm very good at it. Not only do I often fail to see or understand what does or doesn't work in a story, but I'm pretty rotten at expressing what I do see in a way that would be helpful. I've been critiquing for a long time, and I doubt now whether most of them were helpful. Hopefully I'll get better with practice.

I've started my second story—about 1,000 words so far. The original idea was science fictional, but I've changed the setting so that it's fantasy, hopefully a grim fantasy. We'll see how it flies. I find it kind of hard not to compare myself to the way my classmates write or how much. Of course I understand that those kinds of comparisons are unproductive. But they are a big temptation none the less.

Now I'm off to try and double that word count before the day's festivities.