11/23/97 Homer:What the hell am I gonna do with 10,000 angel ash trays? Bart:I could take up smoking! Homer:Damn well better! 11/24/97 Homer:I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laming! 11/25/97 Homer:When Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know like that movie, Spaceballs. But instead it's been painful and disturbing like that movie Police Academy. 11/26/97 Marge: Homer it's 2 am! What happened? Homer: It was an alien Marge! It appeared in front of me and said don't be afraid! Marge: Have you been drinking? Homer: No! Well 10 beers. Marge: Mmmmmmm. 11/27/97 Flanders: Homer, that was honestly the best episode of Impy and Chimpy I've ever seen! Carl: Yeah Homer you should be really proud, uh......you got a beautiful home here. 11/28/97 Homer: Well crying isn't gonna bring him back! Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog!! Bart: Your right! I'll do it! Homer: Rats, I almost had him eating dog food! 11/29/97 Ralph: Mr.Simpson, these tar fumes are making me dizzy! Homer: Yeah they'll do that. 11/30/97 Kirk Van Houten: You're letting me go? Cracker Executive: Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without. Kirk Van Houten: So that it after twenty years? "So long. Good luck?" Cracker Executive: I dont recall saying "Good luck". 12/1/97 Homer: Don't worry! I have a plan! I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping it's SPEED over fifty. And if it's SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't slow down"! 12/2/97 Bart: Milhouse did you ever wonder that your mom might stop loving you? Milhouse: What? I'm more worried about piranhas. Did you see that movie where they send a nuclear submarine to fight the piranha and one swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye and he goes "AHH, AHH, AHH" and that old lady told him it would happen! Bart: Oh yeah that was a good one. 12/3/97 Homer: So anyway, Lenny and Carl are never around on Wednesdays and they don't tell me where they go. It's like a conspiracy. Bart: A conspiracy, eh? You think they might be involved in the Kennedy assassination in some way? Homer: I do...now. Anyway, I'm going to follow them tonight and seewhere they go. Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden? Homer: Well, something did! Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight. Homer: Oh, OK, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm.....going outside. To...stalk...Lenny and Carl. D'oh! 12/4/97 Homer: I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is. And it's me. Marge: You're not a god, Homer. Lisa: Remember Dad, "All glory is fleeting." Homer: So? Lisa: "Beware the Ides of March." Homer: No! Lisa: Dad, I know you think you're happy now, but it's not going to last forever. Homer: Everything lasts forever. Lisa: Don't you see? Getting what you want all the time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless. Homer: Remove the girl... Lisa: Dad, you're not with your Stonecutters now. There are no lackeys around to carry out your every......... 12/5/97 Homer: Here are you messages. You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has impounded. You car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube. Homer: Yello, Mr.Burns' office. Mr.Burns: Is it about my cube? 12/6/97 Comic Book Store Guy: Are you the creator of "High and Lois"? Because you are making me laugh. That drawing is worth exactly 750 dollars American. Bart: It's valuable huh? Comic Book Store Guy: Oh your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go! For the good of the city! 12/7/97 Bart: Oh, well, I guess that explains everything. Homer: Not everything! Theres still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife! Maude Flanders: Um, I'm right here. Homer: Oh I see! So everything is wrapped up in a neat little package!! Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic. 12/8/97 Homer: Lisa, honey. Are you saying your never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No! Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Porkchops? Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh yeah right Lisa, a wonderful magical animal heh heh 12/9/97 Homer: The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes! Wait a minute....Statue of Liberty......that was our planet!!!!!!! You maniacs!!!! You blew it up!!!!! Damn you!!! Damn you all to hell!!!!! 12/10/97 Ralph: Um Ms.Hoover...... Ms.Hoover: Yes Ralph what is it? Ralph: My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have a new one? Ms.Hoover: No Ralph, there aren't any more. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning. Ralph: Oh, Boy sleep! that's where I'm a viking! 12/11/97 Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to square root of the remaining side. Guy in bathroom: Thats a right triangle ya idiot!!! Homer: D'oh! 12/12/97 Kent Brockman: If you have the fever, theres only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning. TV Announcer: Warning: Tickets should not be taken internally. Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning. 12/13/97 Homer: Oh, and how is EDUCATION suposed make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff outta my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive? Marge: Thats because you were drunk! Homer: And how

It will look like this: