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| What is Dracula's favorite animal? The Giraffe. |
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| Why does Dracula never brush his teeth? He loves bat breath! |
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| What did mama ghost say to baby ghost at the supper table? Quit goblin your food. |
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| What do you do with a green werewolf? Thump him to see if he's ripe. |
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| Dracula was talking to Frankenstein's Monster: Dracula: "Hmmm, I think Dr. Frankenstein built you upside down." Monster: "Why do you say that?" Dracula: "Because your feet smell, and your nose runs." |
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| How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but she changes it into a toad. |
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| There once was a witch that put a curse upon a man named Benny.
She told him that he had to grow a beard because if he ever shaved
he would be turned into pottery. Well, Benny didn't believe it, so the next morning he got up and shaved. As soon as he put down the razor, POOF, he was turned into a vase. Which goes to show you, A Benny Shaved is a Benny Urned. |
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| Why did the mummy keep his bandages in the refrigerator? He wanted to use them for cold cuts. |
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| What do ghosts put on their cereal? Evaporated milk! |
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| What do ghosts use to clean their hair? Sham-Boo! |
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| What did Dracula take for his cold? Coffin Drops. |
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| First ghost: Did you hear that Frankenstein's monster
is going to marry the Invisible Woman? Second ghost: I don't know what he sees in her. |
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| Why doesn't the Creature from the Black Lagoon ever go to halloween
parties? Because he's always swamped with work. |
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| What did the sheet say to the ghost? Hold still, I've got you covered! |
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| What is a ghost's favorite Italian food? Spookhetti. |
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| What is white, powdery, and comes in little plastic bags? Instant ghost. |
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| What do you call a monster that is nine feet tall, has long
sharp teeth, and weighs over five hundred pounds? Sir. |
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| Did you hear about the spook who wanted to join the Navy? They wouldn't take him so he joined the Ghost Guard. |
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| Why did the vampire cross the road? It was the chicken's day off. |
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| What kind of music do mummy's like to listen to? Ragtime. |
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| Jon: What would you do if you opened the front door and you
saw three vampires, six ghosts, Bill Clinton, Dracula, one witch (other than
Hillery), and a werewolf? Chad: Pray that it was Halloween! |
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| What did the boy say to the two-headed monster? Hello, hello. How are you, how are you? |
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| Why did the old corpse stay home on Halloween? He felt rotten. |
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| Where does a five hundred pound monster sleep? Anywhere he wants to. |
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| Why did the werewolf boy bring home a baby skunk? He wanted to raise a stink. |
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| Dracula just couldn't seem to write poetry. He just went from bat to verse. |
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| Why do vampires drink blood? They can't afford champagne. |
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| Why doesn't Dracula have any friends? Because he's a pain in the neck, that's why. |
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| What do you send to a hungry monster at college? A scare package! |
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| How do you keep from getting eaten when you see a huge shark
swimming towards you? You feed him Jaws-breakers. |