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We went up to San Rafael's Northgate Mall, because Mr. T was appearing, at TV Land's Ultimate Fan Search, a touring game show. We had planned to enter the contest, and had studied up a little bit so we would not embarrass ourselves in front of Mr. T. We arrived at about quarter after nine, and they weren't quite finished setting up yet. There was a stage with a game show like set up, a host podium and two stands with mikes for the contestants. There were seven rows of black folding chairs and a kiosk with an orange IMac. That's where they gave us the necessary papers to register for the contest and the ten question written test. We sat down at the coffee shop and collaborated on the quiz answers.

We turned in the papers, and they graded the quiz right there. Unfortunately we could see we had gotten one wrong... It was a Seinfeld question. We told them it was because we only watch TVLand. They told us to wait around and we would be called for pre-show interviews. Presumably to determine that we were "outgoing" enough not to freeze up on stage, or crazy enough to throw things or anything embarrassing like that. They interviewed us one at a time. They did wonder about our answers being exactly the same.

They told us to wait around some more because they might be calling us up on stage for either the 12:00 or 2:00 preliminary rounds. They called me up at 11:30 and told me I'd be in the 12:00 round. I did rather poorly in the first question part, because I couldn't get the hang of the buzzer, whereas my opponent David (who claimed to have looked like Donny Osmond in his younger thinner days) was quick to hit that button and get his panel to light up. The "commercial break" was the next portion of the game, in which you match the slogans to the products pictured on a Velcro board. I got them all right, but again speed was the problem, as you had to get back to your stand and hit the buzzer when you were through and David beat me there. I started catching up in the second question portion, but there wasn't enough time left. I have to admit that the studying came in handy here as I happened to get a question on a fact that I hadn't known prior to that week, that Wednesday Addams middle name was Thursday.

While I waited around for my prize (a T-shirt), and while they set up for the next preliminary round, they asked some quiz questions of audience member. (Like "What was Bob's profession on The Bob Newhart show?") They gave a T-shirt to the audience member who answered correctly. Then the next two opponents played off. Ken, the retired cop from San Rafael and we don't remember her name, but she was a Monkees fan. Ken won.

After the two matches which constituted the first preliminary round, Mr. T. came out and spoke to the crowd. Mr. T looked to be in very good health, and in fact doesn't look much different than he did in his A-Team days. In the initial hours he was wearing a San Francisco Giants T-shirt. Later he was wearing a TVLand Ultimate Fan Search T-shirt.

First Session - 12:30pm

Clueless Audience Member asks if Rocky III fight was faked.

Mr. T: Yes, it was. But you gotta be in condition. I don't want any boys or girls to try that. You've got to be trained to do that so you won't get hurt.

Idiot Boy: Does Ray Forbes suck?

Mr. T: Who's Ray Forbes?

Idiot Boy: Just say he sucks.

Mr. T: No, no, no. That's not nice. That's not nice. I'm gonna have to talk to your parents about that. Yeah, I am.

Giant's Fan: Mr. T, I noticed you've got the San Francisco Giant's shirt on and I want to ask you a question. How do you think the giants are gonna do this year and what do you think of their new home at Pac Bell Park?

Mr. T: You know, even though I'll be in Los Angeles, I'll be watching Barry Bonds. I like the way he swings at that ball. If the rest of the guys keep up and do good like Barry Bonds they'll do all right. And the park is good.

Woman with Prepubescent Daughter tells Mr. T that her daughter really loves him and has been watching him since she was a baby, but that she's a little scared now about meeting him.

Mr. T: Well, that's all right. When we start doing a line and signing autographs, I'm going to give her a big hug. She said her daughter loves me, but she's afraid of me. You see a lot of kids feel afraid of me, because they see me as a big brute. See, actually, I just act tough. You see, that's what my name, Mr. T, stands for -- to the women and children the 'T' stands for tender. To the bad guys and thugs it stands for tough. So, I want all you little girls and little boys to know I just act tough on TV: that's my persona. [Acting Tough] Hey, fool, shut up! Don't mess with me! [Then back in Teddy Bear mode] I'm good at acting like that, but seriously when I'm not acting, I go to the hospitals and I spend time at the schools telling kids to stay away from drugs and things like that. So, on TV I'm acting tough. That's why we're here today. You'll find out that Mr. T's really a tender guy.

An Audience Member asks Mr. T if he would consider returning to wrestling.

Mr. T: No, no, no. No more wrestling for Mr. T. See, because right now it's not wrestling. When I wrestled, back in 1985 and 86 with Hulk Hogan and those guys, it was wrestling. It was fun. Now it's not fun.

Same Audience Member: You go back and tell them.

Mr. T: [chuckling a little] No, well... I'll leave them alone, you know.

Different Audience Member: Who was your favorite A-Team co-star?

Mr. T: Listen, that's wrong for me to pick a favorite, because I'm a team player and we were a team. Remember they say there's no 'I' in team. So, there's no one individual, you know, in order to be a team and work well together.

Announcer Guy (Keith Dickerson): Let me ask this; which one did you like the least?

Mr. T merely answers this with a patented B.A. growl.

Announcer Guy announces that they'll only be taking one more question before they start the autograph portion of the afternoon.

Audience Member asks how he liked working with Hulk Hogan.

Mr. T: Working with him was good. You know it was fun.

Same Audience Member [Who Obviously Didn't Hear the "One More" Part of The Announcer's Statement continues, interrupting Mr. T (who seemed ready to elaborate on his friendship with The Hulkster)] asks if he'll be in anymore movies or shows.

Mr. T: Eventually I will. Right now I'm just spending all my time working with TV Land, letting everybody know that TV Land is on the air. It's gonna be on your cable station pretty soon. That's my job, you know, to put it over the top. I'd also like to say even though we didn't get everybody's question, when we get in line, signing autographs, you can ask me a question when you come up to me. You know, so don't be shy. You can touch my hair [he pats his trademark mandinka Mohawk] or, you know, whatever.

I know you are probably wondering, so I'm gonna ask the question for you: you sayin', "Hey, Mr. T, something's missing. Where is your gold?" I tell you the truth, you know the gold is forty pounds. You can see it on the picture. And if I wear the gold I have to bring about three or four security guys and they'd keep me in back and I didn't want that. I want you to see me for what I am. You know the same person whether I wear the gold or not.

So now we're gonna have some fun and sign some autographs.

More Mr. T

Overheard in the Autograph line:

Mr. T: [in response to the question of his real name] Of course I wasn't always Mr. T. When I was born I was... Baby T.

Mr. T: [in answer to a youngster who wanted to know who was tougher, Mr. T or Batman] Mr. T is tougher. Batman would never go into the 'hood. Mr. T will go into the 'hood.

Second Session - 2:30pm

Mr. T: I know you're lookin', and you're probably wondering, where's my gold? You know what I mean? That's what I said when I got up this morning. I said, "Where's my gold?!" I said, "I pity the fool who got my gold!" No, you know, I slowly stopped wearing the gold, because I want you to know that I'm the same person whether I'm wearing the gold or not. Without me wearing the gold, you get a chance to see my personality; see that I'm really a nice guy, see that the T stands for tender.

On TV I put on a good show. I act tough and all that. You know, [he demonstrates] Errrrr, shut up, fool. But I want you to know, and this is for the boys and girls, when you see me on the A-Team shootin' guns, it wasn't real guns and it wasn't real bullets. That's one thing I'm proud about with the A-Team. We never killed nobody. So I won't do shows, negative shows, to make some money. I won't do that. You know, because everything I do, I do with a reflection in my mother's mind. As tough as I am, as bad as I am, I'm nothing but a big, overgrown Mama's boy. I love and respect my Mama.

So, all right, what we're gonna do is let you ask me a couple of questions, about anything, and we'll try to have a little fun.

Announcer Guy: That's right. If anybody has a question for Mr. T, just raise your hand. I have one.

Mr. T: Okay

Announcer Guy: You currently live in Los Angeles.

Mr. T: You better believe it, Man.

Announcer Guy: And I remember on the A-Team B.A. was afraid to fly. Did you fly up here or drive?

Mr. T: I'm gonna tell you the truth. I did fly even though I was scared. But they told me the fans here were waiting to see me. And I said "Oh, then I'll take my chances." So, they strapped me down to this chair and I closed my eyes and we made it here. I'm a little worried about going back though.

Announcer Guy: Did they give you any milk?

Mr. T: Yeah, warm milk and cookies always work.

Audience Member: How did you get along with Howling Mad Murdock in real life?

Mr. T: We get along real fine in real life. He's just a good actor. As a matter of fact we called each other last week. Two weeks ago I talked to Faceman, Dirk Benedict. We try to stay in touch. We stay in touch just in case they try to make an A-Team without us. You know what I mean? They might try to make an A-Team movie without the original guys. Then we'll have to kick some butt, you know. [He growls.]

Kid in the Audience: Mr. T?

Mr. T: Yes, sir?

The Same Kid: So why did you always drink milk on the show when everybody else would drink wine?

Mr. T: That's a good point. That's a good point. The kid asked me why did B.A. always drink milk when everyone else drank wine? Actually you almost answered it yourself. You see I drink milk because I don't drink. You know, because I don't want kids saying, "Hey, I saw Mr. T drink that beer. I want a beer." [In a Mean-Joe-Green-Coke-Commercial -very-special-moment, the kid beckons Mr. T offstage and offers him a half pint of milk.] Wow! Thank you [The kid stops him as he turns to go back on stage and asks to have a picture taken.] So you were trying to bribe me? I knew this kid was up to something. [They take the picture.] I knew there was a trick to it. [He goes back up on stage with the milk carefully examining the label] Hey! It's not my regular milk!

Announcer Guy: I'd check the expiration date, too.

Mr. T: [continuing to pretend that he's annoyed] Reduced fat?! I don't want no reduced fat milk. I need my fat to keep the bugs off me. [He smiles] Thanks, little brother. Thanks. Thanks.

Audience Member asks what it was like working with George Peppard.

Mr. T: George Peppard was a consummate professional. He was the only star on the A-Team; the rest of us were co-stars. 'Cause George Peppard he was also the star of Breakfast at Tiffany's and The Carpetbaggers and all that. He was good actor. He helped mold me, you know, because I was a raw actor. The first thing I'd done was Rocky III. So, I was just sort of mean: I didn't know too much acting. He helped me with the A-Team. Told me how to, you know, look to the camera, stuff like that. So, it was good.

A Very Quiet Little Girl asks him how he feels about being a star. [He has to ask her to repeat the question a couple of times before he can hear her.]

Mr. T: Oh, wow. That was nice that you said that. She asked, how do I feel being a star? To be truthful, I'm a very humble guy. I don't consider myself a star or celebrity. That's why I say I thank you for coming out. You know, I don't really think of myself as that, because when I go home I'm just my Mother's baby boy. Next person? Don't be shy.

Concerned Audience Member: Mr. T? Hi I'm a big fan. I just wanted to know how your health was.

Mr. T: Thank you so much. She asked me a question, wanted to know how my health is. You probably heard and read a lot of things. You know about the press. You know they add that stuff up. I was diagnosed with cancer in 1995. I'm doin' good now. You know, I try to come out and let people know that just because you're been diagnosed with cancer, it's not the end of the world. You don't have to quit. You don't have to give up. You don't have to commit suicide. So you see me lookin' good. It's a blessing from God. So I pray to God for my strength and my health.

Announcer Guy announces that it's time to do autographs again

Mr. T: All right. All right. That sounds good. So, we'll get that line started, you all check your cameras. Get your cameras We're just gonna have fun. I'm getting to my position. [He hands off his microphone and runs off stage.]

Mr. T then signed some more autographs. Teresa was able to slip in at the very end of that line, because she was a contestant. Mr. T signed the cover of the A-Team videotape that we had received that very morning, and another B&W 5x7. And I took a picture of her with Mr. T. He had to leave immediately afterwards because Mr. T had to catch a plane back to Los Angeles, where he is currently residing.

It was still awhile before the four o'clock semi-finals. We spent quite a bit of time with the other three finalists, Denise, Ken and David. There were also a few fans disappointed to find that Mr. T had already left for the day. There was one very sad looking kid, and his Mom. Don't know if you kept count, but we had gotten a hold of three autographed T photos, so we let the young man have our extra copy.

The semi-finals started with Denise vs. Ken. Ken won though only by one or two questions. They had the break again where they asked the audience questions. I snagged another T-shirt there. This was thanks again to studying, or I wouldn't have remembered that Hawkeye's full name was Benjamin Franklin Pierce.

Teresa then played David (who had beaten me). She won that round by thirty points, though he won the "commercial break" portion which consisted of a "sing the next line of the theme song" competition. Teresa was a little slow on the button, which you'd understand if you'd ever heard her sing. But that portion was only worth 20 points.

The competition then went right to the "lightning" round, where the two remaining contestants Ken and Teresa had to see who could answer the most questions in 90 seconds.

Announcer Guy: Here's the way the lightning round is going to work. We'll put ninety seconds on the clock. Point values are doubled in the lighting round. Each correct answer is now worth twenty points. And at the end of the ninety-second lightning round the player with the highest score will be the Ultimate TV Fan for the bay area. And they will win five hundred dollars and will also be flying to New York to appear on TV Land's Ultimate Fan Search. Players are you ready? Here is your first question. The ninety seconds begin now.

On All In the Family what is the last name of Archie's son-in-law.[*ding*] Teresa.

Teresa: Stivic

Announcer Guy: Stivic is correct. What is Mrs. Ted Baxter's first name? [*ding*] Teresa.

Teresa: Georgette

Announcer Guy: That is correct. What was the name of the cult run by Mork's friend Exidor on Mork and Mindy [*buzz*] They were "The Friends of Venus". Who were Pamela and Gwendolyn on Dennis the Menace? [*ding*] Teresa.

Teresa: Dennis' friends.

Announcer Guy: No, incorrect. Ken? They were Margaret's dolls. What was the name of the recurring parody Soap Opera on the Carol Burnett Show? [*ding*] Ken.

Ken: Mama's Family.

Announcer Guy: No, incorrect. Teresa?

Teresa: As The Stomach Turns

Announcer Guy: That is what we're looking for. What was the name of the agency for which the bionic woman and six million dollar man worked? [*ding*] Teresa.

Teresa: The OSI.

Announcer Guy: The OSI is correct. What was the name of the character Lloyd Bridges played on Seahunt?.[*buzz*] Mike Nelson. What was the title of Detective Ron Harris' book about his experiences in the 12th precinct. [*ding*] Teresa.

Teresa: Blood on the Badge.

Announcer Guy: That is right. Where did Jeannie grow up? [*ding*] Teresa?

Teresa: Arabia.

Announcer Guy: No. Incorrect. Ken? Baghdad. What sit-com featured a middle-aged son who grew younger each day?[*ding*] Ken.

Ken: Mork and Mindy

Announcer Guy: That is correct. In 1987 what extraterrestrial TV character dreamed he was a castaway on Gilligan's Island? [*BONG*] Give our players a chance to answer now. Anybody have an answer? The answer is ALF and the person going to New York to be TV Land's Ultimate fan is Teresa. Teresa, nicely done.

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