Well, obviously, we are missing the third of our trio.  He said something about stoking the flames under the mash kettle and we ain't seen seen im in quite a while.  Dennis said he'd probly stopped to grab a corn cobb and do a little "thinking" somewhere behind a bush.

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Anyways, this is what weve been busy with the last couple of days:

If you got somthin we otta be thinkin about or you been thinkin on yer own, drop us a line and tell us whuts on yer mind.

 While allyall'r at it, stop by and carve yur inishals in the tree
 or lookit other'ns inishals

Set a spell 'n read some old storys

Last updated 6-Nov-2001

Very interesting story from Paul Harvey and we checkd it out ta see if it's really frum Paul Harvey.  He's a great guy, ain't he?
Anyways, this is supposed ta be a true story and we all thank our maker thet them dam people is outta power.

 Subject: The Rest of the Story
THIS WILL OPEN YOUR EYES......

By Paul Harvey - Conveniently Forgotten Facts

Back in 1969 a group of Black Panthers decided that afellow black panther named...Alex Rackley needed to die.  Rackley was suspected of disloyalty.
Rackley was first tied to a chair. Once safely immobilized, his friends tortured him for hours by, among other things, pouring boiling water on him. When they got tired of torturing Rackley, Black Panther member Warren Kimbo took Rackley outside and put a bullet in his head.
Rackley's body was later found floating in a river about 25 miles north of New Haven, Conn.  Perhaps at this point you're curious as to what happened to these Black Panthers. In 1977, that's only eight years later. Only one of the killers was still in jail.
The shooter, Warren Kimbro, managed to get a scholarship to Harvard, and became good friends with none other than Al Gore. He later became an assistant dean at an Eastern Connecticut State College. Isn't that something?
As a '60s radical you can pump a bullet into someone's head, and a few years later, in the same state, you can become an assistant college dean!
('course, as a "fallen woman", you can become famous like thet ther Monica, too)
Only in America!
Erica Huggins was the lady who served the Panthers by boiling the water for Mr. Rackley's torture. Some years later Ms. Huggins was elected to a California School Board.
How in the world do you think these killers got off so easy?
Maybe it was in some part due to the efforts of two people who came to the defense of the Panthers. These two people actually went so far as to shut down Yale University with demonstrations in defense of the accused Black Panthers during their trial.
One of these people was none other than Bill Lan Lee. Mr. Lee, or Mr. Lan Lee, as the case may be, isn't a college dean. He isn't a member of a California School Board. He is now head of the US Justice Department's Civil Rights Division, appointed by none other than (that durned) Bill Clinton.
O.K., so who was the other Panther defender? Is this other notable Panther defender now a school board member?  Is this other Panther apologist now an assistant college
dean?  No, neither!
The other Panther defender was, like Lee, a radical law  student at Yale University at the time. She is now known as "The smartest woman in the world." (ain't thet a oxymoron?)
She is none other than the Democratic senator from the State of New York----our former First Lady, the incredible Hillary Rodham Clinton.
And now, as Paul Harvey said;
You know "the rest of the story".
Anyways, we seen this story all over the Internet 'n thot thet if'n everbody else gots it on their pages, we otta have it on ours. 'Sides, any chance ta smack them lyin sonsabiskits gots ta be taken. Shame on all y'all fer voting fer 'em TWICE. Woo doggy, y'all's mamma otta be on y'all like ducks on junebugs.

Well, our friend frum Pencilvania gived us another email a tellin' us whut he's been up to lately, 'n we thot we'd share that with y'all.

Heya, folks!
      Well, I reckon its bin nearer to a haf-year sinse I gots to writin' you kind folks. But I bilieve its bin evin longer sinse yins rememberized yer web page. I dun mean to poke fun at ya, Uh'm just tryin' to giv ya a little incentstive to up-date. Speakin' uh dates, I went with a fine yung...buffalo...the uther nite. It twas a reel hootenanny of a time, yup. well movin the herd along 'n all... i met her at Jayce E. Penny's warehouse. I was in 'ere lookin' fer sum new boots. Goat-lined, knee length, wadder proof, and bes' of all, brown. I luv mah brown boots. Can't liv wifout 'em.
      Movin' the herd along, 'ere she wuz, the girl uh my dreams. At the time, she wuz ravin' like a rabid gopher who had jus' swallowed sum earthwerms, but that all chang'd when she cot muh eye. She took 'er meat-hooks off the sales persawnn, and came rantin over to muh nek uh the store. The shoe nek of the store, ta be persise. Boots ta be even persiser. Brown boots ta be even persiserer. So goin' on, she pick'd me up and tested muh wate. When she wuz satisfied with my 346 pounds of pure mussle, she insistid we go ta the East End Tavern, a jolly 'ol place ta go if ya want ta be smash'd ta bits. I persenelly thot it wuz sum kind of kweer bar, but obviusly Gretchen, the buffalo of a woman, thot utherwize.
      The las' thing I remember'd, a girly lookin' fella was gettin kind uf...touchy with me. Gretchen din't take ta likin' this too much, either, so she laid him out with 'er 76 pound left arm. That arm was a barrel of a thing. Hoo, doggy! Talk about buff. An', well, thats the last thing i remember. Musta been a little happy with the pullin on the jug. Din't knoe muh limit!
      Well anywayz guyz, hope ta keep in tuch with ya!
            -Guy in PA

Have y'all noticed how all a sudden it's cool ta put out yer flag 'n tell eveyone how much you like your country?  Pretty cool!  I heared one guy say he despises some of the stuff the govment does and at the same time cherishes the freedom to do so.  This wuz one 'o them long haird dropout hippy types strait outta the sixties.
I wuz tellin Bruce it ain't been cool to love your country since the bicentennial in 1976.  He said even then it wuzn't cool.  Thinking about it, it wuz cool ta wear the colors, and there wuz no shortage of retailers who'd sell ya something patriotic lookin.  The deal then wuz that the meaning wuz lost.  It wuz just some kind of bizarre fashion statement of the time.  If'n you wuzn't there, y'all otta take a gander at that movie, Spirit of '76.
I gess whut I'm sayin', is embrace this feeling and keep it with you forever, cause ally'all know thet it's easy ta take stuff like our freedoms for granted.
I want ally'all ta go to this page 'n take a look.
 http://216.247.78.12/candlelight.cfm

Well, y'all, beins it's been summer 'n all, we been a spendin' a lot of time out in the cement pond.  Suprizin how much time ya gotta spend keepin it lookin rite.  We wuz out just the other night lookin fer some toads ta put in our cement pond.  What with takin our baths 'n washin the clothes 'n fishin ('n takin' a leak when ain't nobody lookin), sometimes them toads run off.  When we get some o' them city folk visitin' us, they don't take too much liking to our cement pond. Turns up they nose at it, they do.
Well, anyways, whut you been doin' with yer summer?  Drop us a line 'n let us know. We're always lookin fer tips on how ta keep the cement pond nice and pondy without workin' at it too hard.

Billy-Bob's wife got this bunkbed kit thing fer the kids. They gots 5 of 'em that his wife Bobby Sue knows about. So anyways, he invited me 'n Bruce 'n Dennis over ta help put this thing tagether. There wuz 2 boxes of lumber 'n a bunch of screws 'n a page of instructions thet we never could find. So we got out our jugs 'n took a couple pulls. Bobby Sue walks in 'n sez "Yall look like an intelligent bunch." We all just looked at each other 'n watched her a walkin' away in them there cute, short little blue denim daisy dukes and the tight pink halter top she wears. It don't matter if she's a comin or a goin. If'n yall ever git the chance ta see her, yall will know whut I mean. Y'all gotta watch that there Jerry Springer movie 'n she looks jess like that blond gal there.  Anyways, when she wuz around the corner 'n outta sight, Bruce hollers at Billy Bob, "What in tarnation are you tryin ta do?" Billy Bob got this hurt look on his face 'n sez thet he wuzn't in no mood ta be yelled at--Bobby Sue had already yelled at him enuf 'n he wuzn't gonna git nuthin if this bunk bed wuzn't done tonight. So anyways, I took another pull on muh jug 'n got put on muh toolbelt. A guy's gotta have a good toolbelt 'n a full jug ta git any work done. We started sortin through all the lumber Billy Bob had strung out over the floor. Nuthin wuz marked and the directions thet he threw out wuz the only picture there wuz of the thing. Dennis grabbed a couple pieces of wood 'n wuz holding them together ta git a feel fer how the thing wuz sposed ta look. Bruce wuz reamin Billy Bob fer losing the directions. I took another pull on muh jug, pulled out muh hammer 'n some nails and went ta work putting stuff together. You know, it bugs me just as much as it does you that I'm (another pull on muh jug) not using correct grammar and spelling - just read along as if I was talking and forget the grammar bit, ok? Anyways, after a while, Bruce 'n Dennis 'n Billy Bob wuz helpin me hammer away. Bobby Sue came back in, took one look 'n sed we all looked like a bunch of monkeys. Thet sorta comment otta hurt a guy but just seein her bouncing in 'n out wuz worth it. (Another pull on muh jug) Well finally, round 'bout midnight we got the thing together. Yall would probly say it wuzn't no bunk bed though. We had one mattress goin this way 'n the other'n thet way. I finished off muh jug, thinking there ain't no better way ta spend yur nights a lookin at Bobby Sue, drinkin your moonshine 'n wearin your toolbelt. Well anyways, I gotta go. Bobby Sue's comin over ta have coffe with nuh wife 'n I always get outta the shower just in time ta answer the door drippin wet and nekkid as a baby. We put one of muh 5 gallon pails there by the door cuz muh wife got tired of cleaning up the mess Bobby Sue leaves when she sees me.

Last updated 12-Feb-2001
 

Anyways, we wuz so buzy lookin at pitchures 'n findin out when it wuz legal ta fish, we aint got no storys this time round. Lukily, our friend up in Pencivania sent us a story thet we's wantin ta share with yall. He's a right nice feller fer a dam yankee.

Hey y'all, how ya been!
                It sure's been cold as hell out there, even though hell ain't cold. Me n' my brothers n' pa have been diggin ourselves a cement-pond for them dog days o' summer. Ya know what, we got the 4 feet hole dug this summer. So, when ol man winter came whistlin along, we threw a tarp over the to 10 X 10, 4 feet deep hole and called it quits until...well....ol' man winter went on his way. It's been 4 months, and he ain't shown but one sign of leavin. See, it got pretty warm up here for a couple days and rained. That filled our little swimmin-hole in the top to the brink. Then ol' man winter musta come back from his vacation and froze everything up. Well dag dongit.....our hole iced over as I am writing this. Well if that ain't the pits. So, I decidered to take business into my own hand. I still em tryin to un-ducker tape my one side. Boy oh boy, are those people who buy Willis's "Sled on a Roll" in for a treat. Anyways, back to my subjeck. I thought the best way to change people's mind is with a rock.  So I went down to the lokal weather perdikting station, unveiled my catapault, and bombarded it. I figgered thats where the ol' man would be camped and all. Yessirre Bob Ewell, things are lookin up now! I musta scared the ol' man back into Canadia, cause we actually had the mercury go above freezing today! I'm very peeeeroud of myself. Maybe rocks are useful for more than buildin my house........
                        -Guy from PA

Last updated 6-Feb-2001

Well, we gots this suggestion in the email bout making us a USB fishin' pole. Ever since I got muh North American Fishing Club card, we been doin a bit of fishin anyways, so Dennis fixed us up this rite fine fishin pole ta test out on the boat today.

So we brung Bruce's laptop, muh boat 'n Dennis' pole and set out on the pond fer the deepest part. Seem's like ta take ferever. Good thing I gots lots of room in muh boat fer all the equipment. Jugs of hooch, ice chests full of ice, werms 'n other bait, some liverwurst 'n hot dogs and cigars 'n muh dog, Bud. See, ya pull on yer oar a couple times, then ya pull on yer jug a couple times; pull on yer oar, pull on yer jug--over 'n over agin 'n agin.

Anyways, we gets out ta the deep part 'n Dennis sez he ain't gonna test the fishin pole - he wants me 'r Bruce ta do it. So Bruce takes the cornputer 'n I take the fishin pole. After a while, we ain't cot nuthin 'n are jugs'r bout empty, so we all wuz takin a nap. Anyways, I gess when we wuz noddin off, I dippt muh fishin pole in the water. Now it wuz hooked up ta the laptop cornputer with this here USB cable thingy thet Dennis made, 'n we hears this screaming! Seems the lectricity went up muh pole 'n threw thet cable 'n inta the cornputer settin on Bruce's lap. This here cornputer wuz smokin 'n flames wuz comin outta Bruce's lap! Dennis pulled a couple beers outta his cooler, popped the top of one of em, took a big long swig 'n dumped the ice out of the cooler onto Bruce's lap. Now Bruce wuz still screamin 'n - you know, we wuz surprised at how much thet there laptop stunk. Whew! Just like Billy Bob two weeks after bath night. Bud wuz smellin it too; he started shaking his hed 'n howling like he does at the fire injuns. Bruce got up 'n his cornputer fell on the floor of muh boat, just a big hunk of melted plastic 'n the crotch of his pants melted inta it. It wuz then thet Dennis realized it wuz Bruce thet wuz stinkin', not the cornputer. So we shoved Bruce overboard inta the lake 'n made him swim ta shore. So much fer his laptop. Not ta mention his lap! Well, we rowed muh boat ta the shore 'n met Bruce there. Whoo doggie, did he stink! We had ta avert our eyes 'n wuz tryin not ta laff cuz the crotch of his pants wuz gone! (Well, his girlfriend sed ther wuzn't nuthin ta look at anyways.) Hot dog! Muh wife's fixin cornbred, so's I gotta go. Let us know whut's hangin in yer neck of the woods!

Last updated 8-Dec-2000

Y'all been follerin them fella's runnin' fer presdint?  We wuz until Bruce pointed out we wuz just runnin' around in circles.  Why wuld ya want to have all the votes counted agin and then throw out some of them there votes?  That's kinda like whut we do when old man Fry comes over ta git some mash.  We keep this little stash out back behind the shed where we goes ta relieve ourselves.  'Course, we tell old man Fry that it's top qwality stuff.  So is that one guy there yurinatin on some of y'alls votes?
Anyways, Bruce had Dennis wire up this USB port thing ta his pickemup truck last week.  He sez thet now his truck goes longer between fillerups.  So if that ain't proof that this USB thing works, I dunno whut is!
We ain't got too many USB appliances left, whut with the yard sale 'n all.  That there USB toster went fer a 5 dollers! See, y'all coulda had yerselves a right fine kitchen appliance there.
Finally, there's this friend of ours, Guy from Pencilvania that stopped by 'n visited fer a while.  He wuz rantin 'bout them fellers runnin fer presdint.  We wuz talkin 'bout huntin 'n Bush 'n Dick 'n Quayle 'n Willie 'n Johnson, just ta name a few of them presdint guys.  Ya know, I still see Quayle when I pass the hi skool down in town 'n there's Bush 'n Dick all over the TV nowadays.  Seems like ya just can't git away from it.  Well, Guy left ta git back 'n sed sumpin 'bout comin' back tomorrow or yesterday, 'n thet we otta hang in there 'cause amateurs bilt the ark 'n perfeshanals bilt the titanic.  I gess thats good 'cause muh wife sez muh web page looks like sumpin an amateur wuld do.
Y'all click on the piture up top 'n send us whut yur thinking 'bout cuz we're gittin dizzy keepin' up with Dick 'n Bush.  Well, Billy Bob's the one who likes Dick but we still have a jug with him anyways.

Last updated 28-Nov-2000

Dennis wuz readin' the Poplar Mekanics magazine the other day 'n saw they had them this here USB radio thing fer the cornputer.  We wuz all laughing at the thot of sumbody gittin' a radio that ya had ta plug inta your cornputer ta use.  But then Bruce come over 'n told us that all thet stuff they sell fer them home cornputers wuz sellin' reel good like.  I sed sumthin' about my Ma needin' this food processer thing 'n how neat it wuld be if it were hooked up ta the cornputer too.
Since Dennis has been skoolin' fer electronics stuff, he sez he can make one that plugs inta the USB port on the back of the cornputer, easy as pie!
Bruce sez he wuz wantin' a toster fer his Ma fer crismas  Well, then along come Billy Joe, 'n he wuz wantin' this facial massage thingy fer his wife.  See, her face gits all scrunched up 'n stuff 'cause Billy Joe smells so bad, what with sloppin' the hogs, muckin' the horses 'n rollin' around in the hay out in the barn where all them sheep are.  Anyways, Dennis got out all his electronics stuff from skool 'n put together a bunch of USB appliances fer all y'all ta buy from us.
So all y'all gotta do is tell us what kind of thing y'all want on yer cornputer, 'n we'll tell ya how much muny y'all gotta email us.  We already gots a blender, toaster, can opener, refrigater and this old rusty skillet here all ready to go.  He sez he can make almost anything plug inta yer USB port, so don't be shy about whut y'all want - just clik on the piture above 'n send us yer request.