(Here's what happens to the new guy at 4 a.m. when he's been up for a week, and Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit.com is nice enough to link to his stupid site with a couple of 3rd-hand '70s clip-art idiots screaming at each other, and turns out he's not really ready for what must be hundreds or even thousands of hits bogging down whatever the hell goes on inside one of these magic fire boxes while he's trying to upload his pissy-little-word-ballooned picture of Wurtzel on her cell phone from the latest EW, which seems like the perfect way to cap off the page if everybody would just go away for 10 seconds so he can upload it, and plus random images on some of the pages seem to be disappearing because AOL sucks, and it's all kind of... well...)

GLENN REYNOLDS LINKED TO MY SITE AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN OPEN IT

I got plans to put that on a t-shirt. Welcome, Instapundit.com readers. I'm assuming it's the plural, ha ha. I can't even view these damn pages to see if I'm editing them right. If something's wrong with them, you really need to look in the mirror. This mess is slapped together with Microsoft Paint, Notepad, and an AOL connection, so spare me. Sorry if I seem like the guy you just don't wanna fuck with right now, but I've been working on this nonsense pretty much nonstop since 1 week ago when I put up the first David Rees ripoff/homage/whogivesashit strip and said "Gosh, that's kind of neat," and that means not sleeping either. Why? Because I got 3 days to live, that's why. What do you care? Point is, I'm not angry or scared anymore because you are all my new friends. Please disregard my earlier unpleasantness. I'm just trying to make the place presentable, and this is kind of crazy up in here right about now. And to think I didn't put up a hit counter because I didn't want to seem like a hit-whore. Anyway. (Is that third strip showing up? The fourth one makes even less sense without the third one. The last time I was able to actually see any of this garbage I've been working on before the Instalanche fell on my ass, it looked like there were some other flow-hindering dropouts on other pages too. Incidentally, I also had occasion to clown on any number of flow-hindering dropouts back in my battle-rap days. P.S. Can I have some money?)

[10 minutes later] And now it's all working perfectly for some reason. I'm leaving that up anyway for my grandkids.

[3 minutes after that] I mean it about the money, though. You really need to enjoy the funny-ha-ha clip-art bullshit while I'm still dwelling indoors. Oh yeah, you came here to watch me piss all over this airhead, didn't you? Here you go.

[Several days later] I should also mention that if I don't have somebody around at all times to hold me back and WATCH ME, SHIT tends to happen to motherfuckers that they find more than a bit painful!

Back to the Wurtzel-bashing

First you type j-i-m-t-r-e-a-c-h-e-r, then the @ symbol, then a-o-l, then a period, then c-o-m.