THE CLOCKS ARE DIFFERENT

The hidden garden was at a distance and he had heard people talk about it occasionally but he had no idea what it was like - his wife would tell him about the dogwoods and he had been to Kentucky seven summers in a row when it was humid and the tobacco plants got bigger and bigger - twice he'd been there for Christmas and there was snow on the ground so when he thought about Kentucky, he thought about snow and humidity and horses and tobacco and the gods' garden was hidden - it came out at a different season - a season when he wasn't there - the riot of color in the fall; the heavenly dogwoods in the spring - preceded by their messengers the angelic redbuds - so he began wondering if possibly he had missed the most important part of life by confining himself in a prison and not getting out more - the door was open but he was afraid to go out - the caged animal that had never seen anything except bars and so even when the door was unlocked and opened wide he continued his endless pacing from one side of the cage to the other between meals - what should it take? - to drive him forth from the narrow existence - is there a difference in words? exist & live what do they imply? really now would you rather exist or live - maybe living is frightening and existing is peaceful - to be confined to a narrow round of doing the same routine over and over - baking the perfectly round pan of cornbread every morning - not missing a single morning since he got to Kentucky - the mantra of the routine - never getting bored by it - noticing the finest details of the hour of prayer - so to speak - and then at noon - concocting the perfect salad day after day - it was difficult in the winter to envision the heavenly dogwoods - just as it was difficult to bring them to mind in California by only visiting Kentucky during the himidity and the snow - but one must live in all seasons - otherwise - the dogwoods hanging like - a set of pearls between the road and the lake in the forest might be missed - so much depends on being too early or too late - so timing is critical - critical - critical - critical - a crisis - a turning point - a crossroads - a cross - a cross to bear - so take up your cross and follow me - that is critical - exist thru the humidity and the fall with its color will appear and exist thru the snow and the dogwoods will bloom - some places white and pink together in the spring at Easter.

jktsn@aol.com