How to Wreck a Good Fiddle
by Jeff Loen, Loen Violins, Kenmore, WA
Fiddles are fragile, and there are so many ways to wreck a fiddle that it's remarkable there are any old fiddles left! Success at wrecking fiddles requires either aggressive neglect, or else do as follows:
1. Store your fiddle in the attic, basement, or garage. In these quiet locations, fiddles can crack and fall apart peacefully as they undergo extremes in temperature and humidity.
2. Keep the fiddle in a shabby, beaten-up old case. The fiddle's edges and corners will be broken off, which are difficult and expensive to repair. Also, the top will be scratched by the bow and other sharp objects. Cracks will form and seams will pop open because of poor protection from temperature and humidity.
3. Let Uncle Bud fix it. Uncle Bud has been fixing things for years and is happy to help. His shop has all the equipment needed to fix fiddles: power tools, white glue, metal screws, hammers, and nails. And when he's done he'll paint on a thick coat of varnish to make your fiddle look nice and shiny!
4. Let the Grandkids play with it. Grandpa's 100-year-old fiddle is often given to 5-year-olds in the hope that it will inspire them to develop an appreciation for fine music. However, the appearance (and value) of the fiddle is likely to be much different when they are finished with it!
5. Use lots of rosin on the bow. Too much rosin just falls off the bow onto the fiddle. A big white rosin stain on the top of the fiddle essentially works as a straightjacket--it kills tone and is impossible to remove.
6. Always use the cheapest strings. Cheap steel strings, besides sounding awful, exert 70 lbs of pressure on a violin (compared to less than 50 lbs for perlon or gut strings). Old instruments can't take it-- they develop cracks, neck problems, warped/broken bridges, and open bottom seams. The money saved will pay a fraction of the repair bill.
7. Wait a long time for repairs A small crack at the saddle might not suddenly travel the length of the fiddle's top. Poorly fitting pegs can be crammed in tighter and the scroll might not break off. A bent or cracked bridge might not break during a performance. But, then again, they might!