An obviously shaken female onlooker stated “I was listening intently to the presidents speech when I was distracted by something moving in the corner of my eye. I looked down to see the largest, ugliest, filthiest rat I have ever seen sneaking out from under the President’s podium. It scurried up his leg and leapt onto the podium top in clear view. So, of course, I screamed”.
Her scream alerted the secret service who sprung into action, surrounding the President, arms at the ready. Chaos ensued in the crowd as the rat fled the scene, reportedly down a manhole into the city sewer. Once the immediate danger had been cleared, a bomb was discovered under the Presidential podium. It is reported to be a professional explosive device with the capacity for mass destruction in the range of several hundred feet.
The tactical response team brought in to diffuse the bomb were stunned to find that the explosive device’s wires had already been severed only moments before the set ignition time. It now seems apparent that the rat knowledgeably and skillfully gnawed through the bomb’s live cables, effectively diffusing the device and the threat to the President.
Despite an extensive search of the city sewer system, the rat has not been located. It is rumoured that the unidentified rat is actually a secret operative with either the C.I.A. or other international intelligence agency. The White House responded to this claim stating that this “cannot be confirmed or denied”.
As yet, the perpetrators of this assassination attempt have not been apprehended, but several known radical anti-political groups are under suspicion.