One day, sad but true, Casanova will be a legend
and fade away. If you subscribe to existentialism, you know that
life can continue on Earth after you are gone. I have founded a
group that aims to continue our values and beliefs and continue
them here on Earth long after I am gone. An eternal life of
nonsense is my goal.
 I
think it is safe to say that before I hang up my pink and powder
blue boxing boots, I have tickled the funny-side of a handful of
people and my feather has rubbed off. I have really tried to
make an impact and will continue to do so until the wrestling
world has a safe haven of workers who are not afraid to look
stupid infront of a large crowd. This bastion of bumbling
buffoons is what I call The BarBQ Posse and they are the ones
who embody everything that is CASANOVA.
While I do not by any means imply or intend to take credit
for the hard work and time that many of my friends have
put into their gimmicks, there have been a few I think I have
really pushed to the limit to help them achieve a vision that
they may not necessarily seen from day one, but alas, this push
is only because I love 'em and want to see them do well and have
fun doing it. I will cover a few case-histories in a moment on
where I have imposed my foolish ways on my victims. But first I
must digress and explain a bit how Casanovamania and The BarBQ
Posse works.
When a new worker that I have extensively worked with finally
gets Casanovamania (for a lack of a better term) they finally
recognize that outside of the ring, I live my gimmick. The
wrestler is often puzzled by this but pleasantly surprised and
though they do not know it... they secretly wish to do likewise.
 A
lot of what you see from me at ringside is who I am. I am a big
goofball, who enjoys making people laugh and I am not afraid to
make fun of myself. I pretend I am a big ladies man, because I
like that sick kind of humor, but I am actually really terrible
with girls and have been since I was a little Kiddie Casanova.
So I took this character flaw and bumped it up a million times
and enhanced my persona. People seem to have no problem
believing that I have problems with the chicks (the bastards!),
so I try my hardest to make this concept even easier for them
AND THEN act oblivious.
When approaching a newer wrestling talent, my pedagogy, that is,
philosophy of teaching, is finding a role that a worker can live
up to that is believable, entertaining and fun to perform in.
But it has to do all three things or it is not always
convincing. In many cases, the first instinct as a new wrestler
is to try and live out a fantasy in the ring... to be who you
are not... to live out a dream of being someone you cannot be in
the real world. I have seen this hundreds of times. The problem
is, when a new wrestler who is attempting to define their
character tries to be totally serious in being the person they
are not, this mindset does not translate well in the ring. They
do not have the ring confidence, nor the experience to pull it
off. The audience senses the invalidity in the persona and
subsequently they lose interest.
I have offered the BarBQ foolishness too many in moderation, but
only a select few have been spoon fed CASANOVA in super-throat
loads. My latest victim, as some may know is Miss Deville, a
wide-eyed innocent girl who walked into our school at I think 15
years old. A good girl with morals is hard to come by these days
and she really has a love for the game.
There have been other successes, but the have all been guys. A
recent example is embodied in a pasty lanky occasional
mullet-bearing grappler named Buttery Bert Williams. I knew
"Bigtime" Bert Williams had mic-skills and was coming
to his own in the ring a few years back. I knew he could do a
fun gimmick, but he often took himself way too seriously in the
ring. Then one day after a show during a ritual feeding of
Appletizers at Applebees, I saw the spark. I saw the little
flicker of light that screamed BarBQ. The Buttery One did an
impersonation of Koko B. Ware taking Booker T's place in the
Hungry man Swanson TV dinner commercials. Bert said "A
whole pound of Ribs, chicken and buttery mashed potatoes,"
in the Birdman's soulful buttery voice. I made him take this
weird knock-off persona, add a little butter and go with it. Now
The Butterman gets some of the biggest most buttery pops of all.
 Return
of The Jedi. The best illustration of total and full conversion
to the "nutsack-side" comes from the only student I
ever fully trained... Marty The Party Vain. Marty had potential,
but wanted to do a pimp-esque George Jefferson like gimmick
called "O. Marty Vain", explaining that this name is
what girls would say in bed with him. I tried my hardest to help
him understand that THE NAME IS EVERYTHING and a cheap gag like
that would not be as good as the one I suggested (see above -
and yes I made the name).
So anyhow, my young apprentice, the same one who came up to
me and introduced himself in a TSW lockerroom as I changed my
tighty whiteys, the same one who bought me a 20 piece chicken
nuggets when I was totally broke, the same one who traveled to
the distant continent of Jamaica to drink dirty bananas and
defend the international hardcore Jamaican title, my young
apprentice did what I told him. He studied countless tapes of
Revenge Of The Nerds, Animal House and the like to perfect his
character. We worked on fine-tuning the tiny details on
countless road trips until a new star was born in a similar
image to the Casanova; one who was not afraid to look stupid.
Marty The Party Vain took the fraternity beer ball, kept running
and look at him now....wah-lah...success!
However, up until recently, I never had influence on a girl
student instilling the Casanova-flavor, from the get go, on day
one. There has never been a full-fledged BarBQ Posse member of
the female persuasion. Henceforth, never has there been BarBQ
with boobs. My goal was to find one that I could pass
the torch of foolishness over too in full female fruition. I
have found her. Coaching Miss Deville for her first role as a
jail inmate cousin of Deliverance was challenging but amusing.
Krit Skywalker has learned and listened to Yoda Casanova. The
nervous shy young girl who wouldn't peck Tony Militia on the
cheek in an interview (though I don't blame her) has turned
about face and now engages in full breakdance contests during
intermission and has even taken her chance with "Buttery
Challenge" matches where the loser has to kiss BERT
WILLIAMS. (Much respect.)
Deville is a wholesome fun girl and has been the longest
conversion to the "nutsack-side" that I have
experienced to date, probably because she is a chick and making
a girl nutsack has never been attempted before. For many months
she fought the onslaught of nonsense and fed into her
psycho-freak psuedo-goth gimmick. She did her gimmick okay,
HOWEVER, it was not original. Every girl on the indies does it
now. And while there have been other rap gimmicks, no one has
done a cheesy white-girl from Brooklyn gimmick. That is until
now.
As any other girl, Deville is a Drama Queen at times and to get
her to do something she was unsure about was a rough battle. I
know at times she has questioned the validity of her new
gimmick, but if she still hates it, she has me fooled. I think
she likes it a whole lot now. Here is why. Recently at NWA:
Green Mountain, Deville came out of the curtain to a tiny crowd
with the music kind of low (which is hard to dance to and
lessens a worker's entrance ability as they make their way to
the ring) and still got her groove on like she was performing
for the world. This silly entrance showed me she has it.
Originally, she only wanted to sport the bling bling of Brooklyn
at WOHW and wished to continue her goth-gimmick on other shows
abroad. But she picked to do the gimmick on her own and it has
us dying in the back. Who cares what the people think in the
audience? If you can laugh at yourself... That is what BarBQ is
all about.
 Since
The BarBQ Posse is an underground sect that spans across the
nation and around the world, I will have to check with other
members before an induction ceremony for the first ever BarBQ
Babe. Head honchos include Sweet Pete (Thornn), Hotbod Todd,
Marty The Party, Meathead Scalisi from the LA chapter, Scott
Scarsdale, Shockwave, Slammin Dan Scroady, Buttery Bert, &
many more. The vote will be tough, but my nomination for Deville
with full accreditation and benefits is about to happen.
|
Benoit
enjoying a smoothie with Kenny Casanova near the old GOLD's gym in The
Dead Latham Circle Mall.
