In the early days of Kenny Casanova's wrestling
career, he not only was a manager of great grapplers, but he also was a manager
of a small chain of comic book stores called Actionman
Comics. In his mainstay at the bookstore, where he incidentally also
managed to outlive 5 different owners, Kenny thrived on ripping off young
children and making fun of the low-life dirtbags who found their ways into his
store. He didn't like it and wasn't proud of it, but there was no other means of
entertainment, save for an old Pac-Man machine and a magazine called "Anal
In The Hay."
Kenny would often obtain valuable collector's comics at Actionman's preferred
price (Fifty Cents) by telling children that what they had was virtually worthless.
While it may have been underhanded, this practice was rewarding in that
Kenny increased his levels of persuasion ---which would later prove priceless within the confides of the squared circle. Also, belittling the so called
"special customers" may sound "mean" to some, however it is
these various mentally challenged individuals who actually helped mold Kenny in
to the Kenny Casanova character of today. Kenny would practice promo's on them,
as well as wrestling moves. (EDITOR NOTE: He also enjoyed farting in their
faces.) These so called "Turdburglars" or "Herbs" included
quite a number of strange individuals. Read Kenny's recollection of a few of
the important ones (Johnny Flick, James Jackson, &
Orvin Bennett,) before you read about The North American Hurricane.
•"Elvis-man"
John E. Flick John E. Flick was an elderly janitor, in the Clifton
Country Mall, who typically reeked of urine. But John E. Flick was also the man who introduced Kenny to
Karaoke! One night after hearing a piss poor cassette of his singing, The Actionman employees
decided it was time to see Ole' Johnny live, cursin' and in person. So I got
together The Bar-B-Q Posse, a gang of Sweet Pete Waters a.k.a "Thornn"-(Clifton
Park Manager), Meathead -(Latham Manager) and Hotbod Todd Taylor -(Magic Card
Consultant,) and we all went to The Ground Round after the mall closed to
watch John E. Flick rock the mic ala-karaoke-style.
Seeing the
reaction of the audience lit a spark off in my mind. They loved it, even though
it sucked!!! That night we performed a New
Kids on the Block Song, Hanging Tough, got a super pop from the crowd, and thus a tradition was born.
The next day I saw the jiving janitor and told him that I truly appreciated his
introducing me to the wonderful world of karaoke. I asked him how I could ever
repay him and I oblidged to his request by affectionately referring to him as 'The King of
Mops.' But the more I thought about it, that title was to limiting for
such a force to be reckoned with. So I have since escalated Flick's moniker into the grand exalted high-title of
'The King of White Trash.' This title is more suitable for a man of his talents
and it was the only proper term I could see fit to express my
utmost gratitude to unto him.
•James Jackson
a.k.a James "Smiley" Grin was a tall skinny black man who
talked with a super high voice. He always dressed the same, like
"Bill" of Fat Albert's Gang, in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. His
favorite comic book was "Cherry" which is a dirty knock-off of the Archie Comics.
Upon each and every visit to Actionman Comics, James would stride in quickly and
demand to see the latest issue of the fully animated "CHERRY!" After
snatching it out of my hands, he
often would become all too excited as he browsed through the pages. He then would
begin his traditional chant of "That's right..." between childish
giggles. One time, James began to do the very deed that had costed
Pee Wee Herman his career -right there in the store! I do thank James for amusing me
with his frequent "That's right" line, that I have long since gimmick
infringed upon.
•Orvin Bennett
Okay. Orvin I met while working at a convenience store, but he did come into
Actionman one time. Orvin looked like a bearded Mickey Rooney and usually talked
gibberish that NO ONE could understand. His unique vocabulary included such cult
favorite words like "Shableck!" and "AINK!"
Orvin must have believed that everyone in the world was like "The Borg"
from Star Trek, having one collective mind. He figured that if he knew a guy
named "Bob" down the street, everyone else must know Bob too. So he would
often start conversations by saying "Hey Buddy... How's Bob doing?"
Orvin Bennett also talked of his two girl friends Shirley Braken and Olive
Adink-adink-ado ---and it wouldn't be unusual for him to ask anyone around if
they knew how they were feeling.
But the greatest contribution Orvin gave to me was the line "How's yer
neck?"... It seems that at one time, Orvin had injured his neck. (Poor
soul!) So
thinking that everyone's neck must have been hurt as well, in the collective, Orvin would use this question as a form of greeting. It didn't
matter if he knew you or not, he would immediately treat you like his long lost
relative and then inquire about the status of your neck.
ORVIN: "HEY BUDDY!!! ...How's your neck?"
KENNY: "Ah, good I guess...How is yours?"
ORVIN: "IT'S GOOOOOD, IT'S GOOOOOD!!! Thanks fer askin!!"
For Orvin's website, CLICK
HERE.
And now...
•"The North American
Hurricane" Frank Buckland May 21, 2000 marked the day where one
of these HERBS actually made it into the squared circle!!! Bucklund is the only
one. As a joke we would often send his name into magazine results as being the
Commisioner of NBW, but in reality he would just mop the floor after the show
for a free ticket. However, on May 21st, with a little help from
me, Frank Bucklund actually became The Commisioner of WPW/CACC and later a
referee, all in one breath taking evening...Yes... History was made.
Who would have ever thought that this former-alcoholic would have been the one? At
first glimpse, you see what you believe to be a homeless and un-showered
filth-monger. But Buckland, who first walked into Actionman looking for tickets to the
initial NBW event became the harbinger of herbs. He told me that he had wrestled his favorite
wrestler, The Ultimate Warrior and was training in Akito for his next big bout.
We (Hotbod Todd and Sweet Pete a.k.a Thornn -who also worked at Actionman) would
rib him thinking "Yeah right!" and have Danger call him as TAZZ.
"Tazz" would then challenge him and Bucklund would accept, then drop
out last minute, before the show, due to nagging injuries.
One story that Frank told us made my stomach turn, but gave us his line of
"What the Heck?" He told us about the time that he had just finished
making sweet love with his wife (Yuck!) ---when all of the sudden he felt
something under the arch of his leg. "What the heck?" he said, as he
removed the covers to find "the little one, fast asleep." We were
repulsed, but amused in a demented way.
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