Two happy girls
March 29, 2007
Hello, I'm glad you found us! Thanks for visiting. It's hard to believe another year has passed already. You will find lots of information at my site and many helpful links.
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If you are currently caught up in the long wait for Chinese adoption, I sympathize. I lived it in 1996-7. There is really nothing that can be said that will really help until you have your child.
In the meantime, take advantage of the time to learn as much as you can about what it is like to raise a child who is internationally adopted (IA) and most likely transracial (TR), if you are not Asian. There are many differences. Do not close your mind to the stories of grown Korean adoptees or other adoptees. Those of us whose Chinese children are coming of age have learned that many of the experiences of those gone before us are the same for our children.
Try to stay connected enough to know what is happening with referrals, but protect yourself if rumors get to be too much for you. Who knows if realism is pessimism or optimism when the wait is long. Likely you will experience both kinds of days. No one knows the future; only time will tell how fast or slow things happen. (Our second adoption happened far more quickly than we anticipated.)
In our case, both children came to us in the only way they could get here.
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I belong to several email listservs for people adopting from China. I have posted my story extensively there, as well as on several AOL boards (in the old days) for adoption and infertility. My web site incorporates many of my earlier posts and tells our story. I have shared my story in the hope that it will take the unknowns out of yours. They are only meant to be my story; yours will be your own. Thank you for the wonderful response to them.
Follow the links to the areas you wish to read. Be sure to email me and tell me how you like my site and if you find it interesting or helpful. Please let me know if there are other links you could provide, such as links for other-country adoptions.
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The biggest adjustment for us has been having two children close in age. I did not anticipate how difficult it would be for our now 11yo, since she was not an only child, but she was displaced as the baby. Thankfully, by age 8, it was getting easier.
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I have started many list servs for Chinese adoption and also started the list serv International-Adopt-Talk@yahoogroups.com for any who have adopted internationally or have been adopted internationally to share the harder issues of adoption, especially as it applies to parenting pre-teen through adult children. The companion list Discuss-IAT @ yahoo is for aparents to discuss how to process and assimililate the information we learn from grown INAs, as well as a place to mentor or be mentored by aparents.
** If you have used US Asian Affairs in Monterey Park, CA for your adoption (we used them very happily for our youngest) please contact me if you would like to be included in the list serv that I started for USAA families.
* If you have bio children and are in process or have adopted a Chinese child, I started bioandchinese@yahoogroups.com for the unique situations that families like ours face.
Karin Drop me a line. I am married with four children, including two daughters from China. Our son is married. Our girls are in 3rd and 5th Grade, and college. Visit my new blog: http://www.savvythinker.com for an ecclectic mix of thoughts on a variety of subjects including timely adoption topics.
Our story:
Adopting: domestic v. international
ABCs of Chinese adoption
Stories of our first Chinese daughter in China:
your child in China
Cities and places
Upbeat and Inspirational,
adoption/children
More Upbeat and
Inspirational
The Velveteen Mother
Interesting books
China/adoption oriented
Chinese
Culture, where to start
Choosing an agency,
and other issues you need to think out while you are just starting
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Pictures
Highlights
of our first Chinese daughter's life
Our second Chinese
daughter's pictures
Yangzhou, Jiangsu China:
If you get your referral from Yangzhou, please contact hreitzminn@aol.com to be included in the directory of Yangzhou families. And be sure to write to me!
If you are a Yangzhou family, the list is AdoptYangzhou@yahoogroups.com
Dianbai, Guangdong China
If you are a Dianbai family, the list is AdoptDianbai@yahoogroups.com
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Favorite Chinese adoption links:
FCC facts
More
Chinese adoption helpful facts
Chinese
language
Names in Pinyun
(see below for links to other name sites)
Pictures in
China
Other Chinese
adoption stories
A Spanish
Chinese child (in English)
Lisa
McClure's List of China adoption stories
Lisa McClure's
(and Lara's) story
Klaughlin story
Chinese astrology
Rainbow Kids online
magazine
Adoption
resources on the internet
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Things to buy:
Baby
announcements
Celebrate the
child
Chinasprout
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Other links I like:
Teaching aids for
adoption
Lullabies and other songs for children
Cambodian adoption. Send note to
Kathie
Gibson, amom to children from China and Cambodia.
Baby names
Popularity of
names
Zerotothree
(children's development)
What influences the timeline
Generally speaking it is the CCAA which influences the timeline for Chinese adoption by how quickly or slowly they process referrals. Currently there are big changes that will start next year. It is important to know these. Some of my posts inside the website reflect what is past.
The next possible delay is the US consulate in Guangzhou (or perhaps your own country's consulate in Beijing) determined by the number of slots open for dossier processing. Another determining factor are the government holidays in both countries when government offices do not work.
However, your agency also determines the timeframe to a certain (or large) extent. Some agencies who do fewer adoptions will hold dossiers until they get a certain number. Some agencies are simply not efficient (this was true of our first agency.) The singlemost important factor in your comfort level in the wait is who you choose for your agency. Above all, it is important to have an ethical agency.
I highly recommend the agency we used the second time: US Asian Affairs in Monterey Park, CA. They are fast, efficient, knowledgeable, have helped bring hundreds of children home, and have a Chinese head of the agency, one who knows the Chinese way of working with China.
Our timeline (for our first Chinese daughter)
It was the wait from hell, but I finally traveled.
June 96 DTC [maybe (our agency never told us)]
11-8-95 first paperwork taken out
4-10-97 referral from Yangzhou Welfare Institute (2 previous referrals from
other orphanages, unknown to us)
5-6-97 travel orders (could have gone as early as May 18) but had planned
a trip to Europe; the worst part of the trip was packing for two trips at
once and getting visas for two countries at the same time, Russia and China,
then getting my passport back in hand so I could travel! It was a race to
the finish!
5-26-97 left for Europe
6-12-97 arrived home from Europe
6-13-97 left for china, 9 years to the day of the due date of my first
miscarriage...
6-16-97 received her in Yangzhou, Jiangsu Province
6-25-97 home!!
Hang in, if you are waiting. Be sure to stay in touch with your agency through the changes, though if you are DTC, the changes should not affect you.
And visit us again!
Somehow I blitzed the page counter, so the count is not accurate.
Next (Adopting, Domestic v. International)
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