"What do we live for if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot
While a premature baby is in the hospital parents will need help from friends and family. Share the following list with the parents' family and close friends. If anyone else offers their help, show them the list, too. Many times, people are not sure of how they can help. If they are given the chance to read over suggestions, it will help them find a way to help , one that the parents need.
~Drive to and from the hospital, especially for several days after vaginal childbirth, and often for 3-4 weeks after a cesearean section.
~Prepare meals, or help coordinate others to do so each day, at least for several nights each week during the first month of hospitalization and homecoming.
~Grocery shop, run errands, drop off film to be developed.
~Help locate nursing bras, pumping supplies, and clothes that fit mom's new figure.
~Do laundry, clean up house, mow grass, walk and feed pets.
~Take over bill paying and keeping track of hospital bills for awhile.
~Offer your company to the parent while they visit with their baby. The NICU can be a lonely place. Or offer to meet them for lunch, if they are unable to take you into the NICU.
~Offer to take notes while they meet with doctors and nurses.
~Babysit other children, or take over their care temporarily. Offer to take them on a special outing to the movies, a park, a toy store, or a zoo.
~Address and mail birth announcements. Help with thank you notes.
~Shop for necessities when the last minute homecoming is announced. Help them prepare for discharge.
~If the parents request it, call other family members to pass along communication about the baby
~Help to coordinate or arrange assistance from other who offer their help.
~Offer to help care for the baby, and provide meals when the baby comes. Or offer to help care for the household duties while parents relish having their baby home and get adjusted to caring for him. Offer to take other children for a day or two during this time if so desired by parents.
~The new parents will need a lot of support, time to adjust, and time to recover from all that has happened in the NICU during this time of homecoming. Do not be offended if they exclude you temporarily. Be there when they need a hand.
~Don't forget to offer babysitting and additional help continuously during the early months. It takes a long time for a preemie to get past the "newborn" phase, and this is draining for parents. They need help and an occasional break.
~Offer to run outside errands or shop after the baby comes home. Parents will probably not be allowed to take their baby out for some time, especially during fall and winter seasons.
~Don't visit when you are sick or have been around others who are sick. Preemies are fragile beings with compromised immune systems. Respect the parent's right to keep them as healthy as possible.
~Help parents celebrate the joys that their baby brings to the world.
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