You Know You're A Martial Artist When ...

    Within AOL is an area known as the Martial Arts Forum.
(Accessible only through AOL.  Sorry!  :(  )  After you enter
this area, hang a left at the lights, then continue down the
street about a block or so.  Before long you'll see a sign
straight ahead for "Kathy's Espresso Bar".
    The "KEB" is a friendly, family oriented place where people
can get together and discuss "issues relating to life and the
arts."  Sometimes the conversations in there can be pretty
serious, but other times ...  ;)
    With permission from the kind folks at the "KEB" I
respectfully submit the following for your enjoyment.
    Stay on the Path!

You know you're a martial artist when ...

From STHOUND,
>>>You know you pratice Tai Chi when you're the only one relaxed while in heavy traffic in LA while it's 104 degrees outside and your air conditioner stopped working.<<<

From AikiGaijin,
- you shut cabinet doors with round-kicks... (no matter how high...)
- you practice your pivots when heading for the refrigerator...
- your "significant other" reaches to touch your face, and you block and counter...
- its easier to perform a rotary over the bed vs walking around it...
- you read more ma pubs than the sum total of all other pubs...
- you own more gi's than pairs of jeans...
- you can spell, miyamoto musashi...
- you wander through lumberyards thinking "Tamashi-Waza" instead of "oak decking"...
- you carry your training gear with you on family vacations...

From MEGA KAO,
The freezer door makes for a decent place to practice elbow strikes.
Brown sugar in a plastic bag is a good punching target.
Kitchen knives...enough said.
Turn off the lights with a hanging side or front kick (stop just before the switch, then extend toes to gently turn switch off)
Ever try to hip throw a refrigerator? It doesn't work, but it's an interesting workout for the inner thighs.
Use knee or shin to close the oven door (especially when carrying something, i.e. multitasking)
Get a job as a busboy at a food court to work on pivots, spins and jumps (gawd that was fun, and drew a crowd. people actually came down and brought their video cameras to record me when I bussed a couple of years ago).
When wiping tables as a busboy, do that "wax on, wax off" thing. customers get a kick out of it.
When shopping, and no one's looking, jump up and try to kick those hanging signs in the aisle.
When playing basketball, accidentally say "spar" every time you use the word "play", that way people will think you're confused, and won't get too mad after you practice takedowns on them during their attempted layups.

From Taekyon 2,
How about knife hand slashes to open paper towel ot toilet tissue packages?

From KSW JKN,
- you use a spinning side kick to close the freezer door at work
- you palm or knife hand the bottom of empty boxes to break them down before disposal (also, ax kicks are great for really big boxes!)
- instead of stepping over things, you do low sweeping movements to go under them
- put your (larger than you) son in a joint lock when he gets 'uppity'

From USTAI 4,
-when you use your lunch break to practice your katas
-when you can't walk by a mirror without throwing a kick to check you form
-when you have "accidentally" hit / kicked at least three of your fellow employees.
-when your movie collection consists of nothing other than martial arts movies and Godzilla films
-when you spend valuable workout time filling out one of these "You know your a" forms.

More from AikiGaijin,
- if you catch yourself practicing traps and grabs as you walk down the hall.
- if you take the phrase, "Does really work?" as a challenge.
- if you judge a "good pair of jeans" by flexibility and range of motion.
- if you guage kicking ability before you buy new shoes.
- if your significant other cringes when you say, "can I borrow your arm for a moment..."
- if someone asks, "Do you practice karate?", you cannot simply answer, "Yes."

From LitlJudoka,
you know you're a martial artist when you enjoy slipping and falling on an icy patch. (just like being thrown by old what's his name)

From Booknewt,
Booknewt's "How to tell when you've gone too far down that MA road"
1. You declare your mother the "dojo-mom"
2. Your orthopedic surgeon always closes out your "final" appointments with "see ya next time"
3. You laugh when you get hit in the head
4. The harder you're hit, the harder you laugh
5. You yell "WAHOOO!" whenever you're thrown
6. When in public, you imagine all passerbys as attackers and mentally rehearse your response, especially the grandmothers (expect the unexpected!)
7. You iron *and* starch your heavy-weight gi
8. After your last test, you wore your belt to bed
9. You've been given more than one copy of "The Tao of Pooh" or "The Little Zen Companion"
10. Your co-workers call you "lumpy" for cause

From CylentKa,
1. You perform kata in your dreams - and get them right.
2. You have dreams where someone you don't know is performing a kata you've never seen before (wierd!)
3. You teach your dog to bow when you walk into the room.
4. You spend three years *trying* to teach your cats to bow when you walk into the room.
5. You swing your punching bag so that it hits you real hard in the chest, gut, etc - to practice your stances and body conditioning.
6. You reach out towards a family member and they ask "Are you going to hurt me?"
7. You try a front jump kick on roller skates and have to be carried off the rink. (I told you I learn things the hard way.)
8. You automatically count in Japanese when performing warmup exercises - even at home.
9. You mistakenly refer to your knees, elbows, etc by their Japanese name.
10. You love your Sensei, because he sees what you can be, not just what you are now.

More from Booknewt,
Like Police Officer's dogs catch criminals, surfer's dogs play frisbee and baseball player's dogs play catch... um... my dog spars. he cheats, too.

From BigBadVolk,
....when you are so ticklish that you put anyone in figure four arms locks without thinking to get them to stop.

More from AikiGaijin,
- You and the other "trekkies" in the dojo define the techniques within "Kirk-Fu"...
- You check your "striking surface" whenever you go through a door...
- You've spent more time discussing the techniques in a movie than watching it...
- You've ever caused your sensei to cringe during a demo...
- Your wallet holds more Martial Arts business cards than "professional" business cards...
- You spend more time looking through the AWMA catalog than the Sears catalog...
- You own more Jackie Chan movies than Blockbuster and Hollywood Video combined...

More from KSW JKN,
- You sleep with your sword/staff/nunchuks

From KenpoTom,
- When "Yield" reminds you of soft style & "Stop" reminds of hard style.