Hon. Secretary Widnall,
It is extremely difficult, if not impossible to put into words
my love for the Air Force and devotion to the Air Force. It is
with heartfelt agony and the deepest sadness I have ever felt
that I submit my resignation from the Air Force.
I truly love the United States Air Force, and would like the opportunity
to continue to serve my country. I realize that I have made mistakes
and errors in judgment. I have learned so much from these mistakes,
and through this entire experience. It is a huge personal loss
for me, to be asking to resign from the United States Air Force.
This is the hardest decision I have made in my life and it feels
like a part of me has died. If given a choice, I would prefer
to receive some form of non-judicial punishment, return to flight
status, and continue to use all of the training I have received
to benefit the Air Force and my country. I am not asking to be
absolved of my mistakes. I am not asking to escape punishment.
Leaving the Air Force is the worst punishment I can imagine. I
would never intentionally do anything to bring discredit upon
the Air Force. I truly fell deeply in love with a man who led
me down the path of self-destruction and career destruction.
I have so much passion for the Air Force. I am an excellent officer,
who has devoted my entire adult life to the Air Force. I entered
the United States Air Force Academy at the age of 18, with the
hope and dream of making the Air Force a career, and then possibly
becoming a member of the astronaut corps. I still hold all of
these hopes and dreams. I still hope, down deep inside, that there
may be some better solution to my case, both for myself and the
Air Force. It is difficult to put into words the passion I feel
in my heart for this institution. It has encompassed me. I only
want to serve my country and to be forgiven for my human faults.
I don't think it's too much to ask. I only wish that someone in
my chain of command would have asked what was happening in my
life. Then they would have learned of the fear and the darkness
in which I was living. I did not turn to anyone for help when
I should have. Instead, I decided to handle the threats of a detestable
man, and live in fear of him and his possible actions. That is
where I showed my greatest weakness, and did not stand up for
myself as a human being. That will never happen again. I have
learned how to handle my personal decisions and to be more careful
with my feelings.
I have dedicated my life to becoming an Air Force pilot. I have
endured comments, videos ridiculing my arrival at Minot AFB, sexual
molestation, and harassing comments, just to fly. I never wanted
to be treated as something special, I just wanted the chance,
as my counterparts have, to fly for the Air Force as a trained
combat pilot. If there was anyway to undo all the wrongs, I would.
Unfortunately, at this point, I can only learn from my mistakes
and move forward with my life.
I would never wish my ordeal upon my worst enemy. Deep in my heart,
I believe that no punishment the Air Force renders will every
compare to the public humiliation I have suffered, the loss of
my trust, and the loss of my innocence. Before this happened,
I never dreamed that people like Marc Zigo existed. Perhaps that
was my first mistake. Secondly, I myself, should have researched
the legalities of the situation, instead of trusting his word.
However, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, I should have done
many things differently. Lying was the worst possible action,
yet I did not have the courage then to admit my faults and shortcomings.
I now recognize them. I just wanted a chance to reconcile this
situation and perhaps have the opportunity to redeem myself in
the eyes of the Air Force.
I do have integrity. I now have the courage to admit my mistakes,
in the public forum, move forward, take the lessons I have learned
to heart. I have so much to offer this Air Force. I am an intelligent
and dedicated worker. I have excelled in all of my activities
since earning my Air Force wings. Perhaps I am feeling such a
loss because I am an excellent B-52 pilot. I did not excel with
the T-37 and T-38 programs. I made many mistakes during those
training programs, but was able to learn from them and earn my
wings. I took those lessons and applied them to the B-52 and excelled.
I was exceptionally qualified to fly the B-52, a rating few pilots
will ever earn. I was the distinguished graduate from my B-52
training class. More than anything, I wish that you would accept
my apology and give me a second chance.
Madam, the thought of leaving the Air Force, never to set foot
on another base, never to stand at attention as the Colors pass
by, never to wear the wings of an Air Force pilot is the cause
of my relentless tears, a punishment that I will live with the
rest of my life.
Sincerely,
Kelly J. Flinn, 1st Lt. USAF
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