Christian Fathers

Excerpts from a sermon on

Ephesians 6:4

by Kerry Ptacek

The text before us would not be used in a reading comprehension test. It is too simple and direct. Nevertheless, because these words are not part of an ordinary human document, but the Word of God, they seem to be unusually hard to understand. You see, if this verse was not in the Bible most Americans today would see the sense of the words and simply say: “that’s your opinion.” But many deceive themselves about the Word of God. They believe that they are saved and therefore believe God’s Word. However, when they read commands which they refuse to obey, something must be done to preserve their self-deception. Suddenly the words are difficult to understand. Soon others -- good people, seemingly sincere believers -- are found who agree. Deceitful interpretators argue that the plain sense of the words need not be accepted. In time it is noted that those who say otherwise are afflicting these relatively good people, creating doubts and teaching things that are undesirable.

Our text today is a test, not of intelligence or skill but rather of will, the heart. It is difficult to imagine simpler words, except perhaps “Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.” Nevertheless, both verses have been the subjects of a great deal of false teaching.

“And you, fathers”

The word “fathers” is in the vocative case, that is, Paul is saying “hey you, fathers.” He is trying to get their attention. However, some people believe that Paul is not trying to get the attention of the fathers, but of both fathers and mothers, that is, the parents.

In verse 1 of chapter 6 Paul used the Greek word for parents, goneusin. In the next verse he cited the fifth commandment with the separate terms for the male and female parents: “father,” pater, and “mother,” mater. Therefore, when Paul turns his attention to the “fathers,” pateres, you might think that it was clear that he was addressing the male parents. Nevertheless, almost all study Bibles and commentaries in recent years, not in the past, state that by “fathers” Paul means “parents,” despite the fact he could have said “parents” or “fathers and mothers,” as in the previous verses.

If we turn from the evidence of the context of this passage to the use of pateres in the rest of the New Testament we will see that when humans are in view it means the male parent. Even the term “the fathers,” for the forefathers of the Jews, refers to the male covenant heads. This is clear when the singular “father” is used to refer to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob or David.

There is one apparent exception to this pattern. In Hebrews it is stated that “By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s command” (Heb 11:23). However, this exception is entirely irrelevant to the history of Israel after Moses and the church to this day. In Greek a feminine form of the word father was used for a sister on the father’s side, patra (See The Vocabulary of the Greek New Testament, Moulton and Milligan, p. 498). Moses’s father Amram had married his father’s sister, who was thus a patra (Ex 6:20). Such a marriage would be prohibited under the law and is nearly unthinkable today.

To insist that fathers means parents in this verse twists the words of the Bible to fit the practices of the church today. The idea that Paul would address fathers separately as those responsible for carrying out the commands which follow is unacceptable to churches in which it is assumed that all positions of spiritual leadership are open to women. The polity of the church begins in the households of the congregation. Historically, once men ceased acting as spiritual leaders with their wives and children, it was only a matter of time before all other leadership positions in the church would be filled by women and youth. Nevertheless, those with new hearts can respond obediently if not perfectly to God’s Word, whatever the condition of church and society.

Having gained the attention, hopefully, of the fathers, Paul states his command in two ways, negatively and positively. That is, first he tells them what they should not do, which is the consequence of not obeying the positive command which will follow:

“do not provoke your children to wrath”

The verb “provoke... to wrath,” parorgizo, is found in only one other place in the New Testament, and that is a citation from Deuteronomy in Paul’s letter to the Romans: “I will provoke you to jealousy by those who are not a nation, I will anger you by a foolish nation” (Rom 10:19 citing Dt 32:21). The word parorgizo, “provoke to wrath” is wrongly translated “provoke to jealousy,” however the parallel expression, is “anger.” The Jews would be provoked to wrath by the gospel going out to a “foolish,” immoral, nation, that is the gentiles who did not keep the law. The Jews did not understand that the gift of the Holy Spirit would give them believing hearts responsive to God’s Word, no longer needing the rewards and punishments of the law. People without this understanding of regeneration would be provoked to wrath because in their view such faith would make the believers even more likely to sin.

The word “provoke to wrath” has a very precise meaning. It refers to righteous anger in response to the perception that someone is disobeying God’s Word. I say “perception” because human perceptions can err. This verb is used most often in the Greek Old Testament to refer to God being provoked to wrath or anger at Israel’s violation of the covenant, especially by idolatry but also by unrighteousness in general.

Although most commentators think that fathers means parents in this verse, they often shift their view when they come to these words about provoking to wrath, but only through another misunderstanding. This is shown by the New International Version’s translation of parorgizo as “exasperate.” Some commentators state that this command is a warning to fathers not to be “too harsh” with their children. However, the use of provoke to wrath suggests a response of righteous anger, as in God’s anger at Israel's violation of the covenant, not simply a response to harshness. In other words, fathers are being warned, commanded, not to engage in unrighteous behavior that will cause the anger of their children. This is not a general warning. The action which will provoke the children to wrath is the failure to obey the command which follows:

“but bring them up”

The word translated “bring... up,” ektrepho, is used twice in the New Testament; both are in this letter. The other case is in the section speaking of the husband's spiritual nurture of his wife. If we turn to the Greek Old Testament we see that ektrepho is used for directly contributing to growth or maturation, be it of a plant, animal or person. I want to emphasize that this verb implies a direct relationship of nurture. Consider the relevant example of Ahab placing his seventy sons in the care of the elders in the town of Jezreel, whose representative body typically also numbered seventy. Although Ahab was their father and continued to exercise oversight as father and king, the text states that it was the elders who were “rearing” Ahab’s sons.

Fathers have no Biblical warrant for assuming that bringing up children, in the sense of this verse, can be delegated to another. The person to whom this task is delegated is the one who is bringing up the children and so the father who delegates is not obeying the command, which is directed to him. He cannot faithfully give this task even to his wife, because fathers means fathers, not parents. The definition of what it means for the father to bring up his children will be addressed next.

This word ektrepho need not refer to spiritual growth. However, I argued for this emphasis because the husband's relationship to his wife is compared to Christ's with the church and especially the washing of water through the Word. The remainder of verse 4 is explicit: the father's direct role of bringing up his children is spiritual:

“in the training and admonition of the Lord”

The father’s manner in bringing up his children according to God’s Word is defined by two activities: training and admonition. Both of these are further defined as being “of the Lord.”

“Training” is the Greek word paideia. It refers to the disciplined instruction of a child. I say disciplined because this instruction involves the use of chastening. The verb form sometimes is translated “chasten,” which neglects the instructional aspect. Such discipline is inappropriate for anyone except a father or mother. Without denying the right and necessity of the mother to discipline her children, discipline with instruction is the specific responsibility of the father.

Admonition is a warning that places a matter in the child's mind. Paideia, given the use of chastening, seems to apply to previous lessons or warnings. Fathers must warn children about future situations and correct them if that warning is not heeded.

Both training and admonition should be “in the Lord.” This means using the Word of God. This is said explicitly in the original language but lost in the English translation of the classic text on the uses of Scripture: “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction [paideia] in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Tim 3:16-17). The use of Scripture in teaching in general is mentioned in the term doctrine. To say instruction as well is not repetitive, as it might seem, because this refers to the disciplined instruction of children by their fathers.

In another letter Paul also speaks of the use of Scripture in admonition. After discussing the experience of Israel in the wilderness he concludes: “Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the ages have come” (1 Cor 10:11).

Fathers should use the Bible to train and admonish their children. Other religious materials, even those based on the Bible, are not of the Lord but of men, and women. Also, a clear distinction should be made between instruction that makes use of logic or ethics and the Bible itself. Only Biblical training and admonition is of the Lord.

In summary, although Ephesians 6:4 is a simple text, this command to fathers is contrary to what almost all fathers want to do. Moreover, it has radical implications for mothers and the way that virtually all churches view families in their congregations. To break with such an overwhelming pattern of resistance to the Word, even regenerate Christians must read carefully. There are four key aspects of this text that have been made to seem difficult by false teachers. First of all, this command is addressed to fathers, not parents in general. Secondly, the failure of fathers to obey this command will provoke their children to righteous anger. Thirdly, fathers must carry out this command themselves and cannot delegate it to another. Fourthly, obedience to this command involves the use of Scripture by the father in teaching his children.

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