According to The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears, there are
three goals for new parents:
- To know your child
- To help your child feel right
- To enjoy parenting
This is the concept of "attachment parenting."
The five tools of attachment parenting (again, according to the Sears') are:
- Connect with your baby early
- Take an active role in your birth
- Educate yourself
- Take advantage of early closeness
- Read and respond to your baby's cues
- Listen to your instincts
- Be open and responsive
- Pick up your baby when she cries
- Meet your baby's needs without hesitation
- Breastfeed your baby
- Get support
- Make breastfeeding a family affair--include dad
- Wear your baby
- Learn to use a sling
- Carried babies cry less and develop better
- Share sleep with your baby
- Try different arrangements until you find what works for you
- Try sleeping with your baby
Most important--get connected to your baby!! Then, do what works best for both
of you and change what doesn't until you find your own style.
Fathers are important too!
- Its the father's job to nurture the mother so she can nurture the baby.
- Breastfeeding is the only job a father can'tdo!
Attachment parenting promotes independence.
Infants who develop a secure attachment in the first year learn trust, and trust
fosters independence!
Attached parents ARE NOT:
- Overindulgent
- Possesive
- Dependent
- "Martyrs"
- Manipulated
- Spoiling their child
Attached children:
- Are better behaved
- Develop better
- Are more intelligent
- Are more trusting
- Learn language more easily
- Establish healthy independence
- Learn intimacy
- Learn to give and receive love
Attached parents:
- Are more confident
- Are more sensitive
- Can read their children's cues
- Find discipline easier
- Know their baby's preferences
Attached parents and babies:
