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Jamie Kellner, head of the WB Television Network, is the source of all evil. This list was originally inspired by discussion on #watertower, and continued out of the fact that I was really bored in school one day. Since the cancellations have come down, if you want to complain do so right here ---> lari35960@aol.com
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"Pablo or XsBum4Life@aol.com" contributed:
"Olsen Twins -- he secretly fathered both!
Barney??? --- started out as Jamie's Halloween costume.
Where was he several years ago? Intel -- heading up the Pentiums's math processor
design team"
Odo's Bucket (Lara Little, odosbukt@charlotte.infi.net) threw in:
"OK, lessee...Newt Gingrich, bellybutton lint, teh crappy hockey game the Checkers
played last night, PMS, all the top executivees where I work, Michael Bolton, fleas,
and plastic lawn flamingos. How's that?"
and later added
"THe Packers, the extinciton of the dinosaurs, the annoying whistle that I like an
idiot biought my husband for Christmas, and all world diseases. Especially cancer.
Especially especailly especaiily my sister's cancer. :(
Yakko J. Warner (yakko@elfie.wtower.com) claims that
"jamie kellner is to be blamed for the following:
- netsplits on DALnet (Connection reset by fool)
- my bread becoming moldy (having bought it a month ago is a minor nit)
- lari's amazingly boring sex ed class
- hot dogs coming in pkg's of 10, and hot dog buns coming in 8's
- _Hollywoodchuck_
- windoze (waitasec, that gets blamed on a different fool)
- lovelyspammmm, wunderfulspammmm!
- duct tape, the universal adhesive"
-kellner headed the 08186 design team at Intel... and was at Xerox PARC before that.
"WalkerTron" (willis@adsnet.com) ranted about
"The Olson Twins, 'Captain Planet', 'Wayan Head', crappy toys at the bottom of cereal
boxes, Billy Ray Cyrus, toilets that won't flush, World War II, 'Saved By the Bell',
'Bonkers', flowery wallpaper, any macaroni & cheese besides Kraft's, The Artist
Formerly Known as Prince, sitcoms on UPN, country music, lawyers, bell-bottom pants,
'My Brother and Me', those episodes of 'The Tick' without Die Fleidermaus, hangnails,
Optimus Primal's rip-off name, the fact that 'Suddenly Susan' is off the air for six
weeks, the Bubonic Plague, Disney's 'Pocohantas', newspapers without comic strips,
starvation in third-world countries, any 'Rosanne' episode, junk email, Dominos
Pizza, politics in general, Communism, prices of popcorn at movie theatres......"
Morgan Lewis (mrl@efn.org) reminds us of
"B*rney, Lamb Chop, Beavis and Butthead, bad drivers, unbalanced economy, government
spending, education budget cuts, spam (both the internet kind and the pseudo-food
kind), commercials butchering classic song lyrics to fit their needs, disco, floods,
fires, tornadoes, and the eventual end of the world."
Brian "acmelabs1@aol.com" --6 words - "One Flew Over the Cuckoo Clock"
Hey, can I also throw in the lousy week I've been having since returning from my
vacation in Florida? [I've wanted to blame it on someone]
Nicola "Ditzi" Makela makelaw@up.lib.mi.us--
Here's more: Barney, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Freelance Animators Ltd., Rush
Limbaugh, Dalvenjah, WB sitcoms, AOL, pimples, AOL, redundency, AOL, redundency,
speeding tickets, broken and/or chipped nails, polyester suits, mall survey ladies,
poverty, accidentally mixing white with red while washing clothes, flat tires,
bellbottoms, the U.S. national deficit, when you realize your underwear is inside
out, Christmas lights left out all year round, spying, deodorant shortage, memory
loss, uh, um, dahhh......
"Backwards Kristy" Overton (kristy@netin.com)
Let's not forget migraines, Ebola, pop quizzes, ice on bridges, falling rocks, paper
cuts, sunburns, people not including the batteries, toast always landing
buttered-side down, insomnia, school zones, finals, ignorance, stupidity, "The
Artist Formerly Known As", ebonics, windows help files, overdue book/tape/etc.
fees, daylight savings time, gym class, all the things that will burn out your eyes
if you look directly at them, radio stations that only play 1 song in between
commercials, classic literature, clashing colors, that annoying buzz that flourescent
lights make, and the fact that everyone kicks my stuffed Pinky over when they walk
into my room...
And to think he won't serve any jail time...
Neuracnu Coyote (neuracnu@inlink.com)
Being an Acme employee, I've seen a lot of evil things come and a lot of evil things
go. But I have not seen anything as evil as THIS man, Jamie Kellner. He cancels
the shows that we like, destroys the hopes and dreams of our young ones, and I have
pictures of him drinking Zima!! The man must die!!! Let up put together the
newsgroup alt.jamie.kellner.die.die.die!! We need to tap and lock him in a room
with only the evil of Wayn*head to comfort him! Revenge is a dish best served with
pinto beans and muffins! Kirk, old friend, I- oh, sorry.
Goodbye.
(from one of Jaime J. Weinman's a.t.a. posts...)
Bitter? Who's bitter? I've got a nice little present for Jamie Kellner...can't you
picture his joy when he gets it?
"Ooh! A package for me! And a card that reads: TO THANK YOU FOR ORDERING ONLY
8 ANIMANIACS EPISODES YET AGAIN, AND FOR DUMPING FREAKAZOID AND EWJ. I
wonder what's inside? Oooh, it's ticking! I always wanted a clock...wait a
minute...if it ticks, that means it isn't digital! And I never learned to
tell time MANUALLY!"
Tick...tick...tick...
That shouldn't have been cancelled either...
KA-BOOM!
(She should have been cancelled...)
The Franco-Prussian war, the Beatles breaking up, Hootie and the Blowfish,
deadly dull classwork, my lack of sleep, the extinction of the Dodo, and
worst of all...
the cancellation of my beloved Freakazoid!,
Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, and that whole Elmyra thing!!!!!!!
As a public service, the KATIE is now including other stupid things Kellner has done. Please, feel free to contribute any and all information on the idiocy of Mr. Jamie Kellner.