What's the Fine-O-Meter? "I'm fine." "Mulder, I'm fine." "I'm fine, really." It's a phrase heard so often on XF that it's lost its meaning... of course, the lack of meaning could have something to do with the fact that it's always a lie. But just how often is it actually said? When I began my 1997 summer XF marathon, that question was on my mind. And to prove to myself and the world that yes, I really am a loser, I decided to keep track. Every time Mulder or Scully claimed to be "fine", I made a note of it... and the little notes on scraps of paper lying all over the floor came to be known as Fine-O-Meters. I'd like to thank Amy, my partner in crime, for all her help with this little experiment. Her wicked wisecracks made episodes like Space and Teso Dos Bichos bearable. Okay, Um, Are You A Lunatic? Probably. No, wait, yes. Definitely. But really, is this any more bizarre than pausing the video tape at the end of WOTC to figure out what the number on the file folder that Mulder smashes the bug with is? I think not. And besides, being here is ten times better than hanging out in some chat room, listening to newbies blather on about how "Xfiles" is "kewl". Come on! After the fourth season, which made us wonder when Scully would start answering the phone with "Hello, I'm fine"? I can't be the only one who was curious. So, want to see my unofficial count? The Fine-O-Meter Oh, Come On, You Probably Screwed Up Once Or Twice. Now let's get serious. When I started this, I had to go through 97 episodes. At this point, we're at something like 140. And I'm not the best record keeper to begin with, which means this information probably isn't exactly accurate. To top it all off, I'm lazy, and I don't want to have to go through almost six days worth of videotape just to check my own work. So if you think you've found a mistake, I want you to... Catch Me! And Speaking Of Screwing Up... Within a few months of the opening of this site, I got letters from some friendly folks who had decided to check my accuracy, and noticed a few errors. I've set up a list of those nice people, all of whom have... Better Eyes Than Mine While We're On The Subject Of 'Better Eyes'... Just because this page is mentioned in a magazine or newspaper doesn't mean that whoever wrote the article told me anything about it, so if you ever happen to see the Fine-O-Meter mentioned in print, please let me know- chances are I'm in the dark. And I do like to be informed! So if you do come across a FOM mention- or even if you haven't, and you just feel like dropping me a note- feel free to... E-Mail Me Believe It Or Not... ...this page has actually been recognized for excellence a couple of times. (We've even been mentioned in a major metropolitan newspaper.) If you'd stop by my little awards gallery, I'd be quite flattered... Hey, Look! We're "Award-Winning" Now! © 1997-2000 Em [LilXPhile@aol.com]

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