Ask Van & Olga

• Frustrated with your panty "binge and purge" cycles?
• So knotted up with guilt that you're sure everyone on the street somehow knows about your panty obsession?
• Wondering if your panty need is keeping you from having a better relationship with your partner?
• Always making resolutions to give up panties, yet you never do?
• Sweating being "busted" by your lover, and don't know how to talk to her about why you do what you do?
• Just wanting someone "safe" to talk to?

We visit this site because it fills a lot of our needs:

• To read what others have to say about panties and how they are part of our lives
• To look at the pictures
• For a safe place just to hang out, a place where we feel welcome and among friends

Now there's a corner here for us. Van & Olga  provide an understanding perspective to your panty related questions and concerns. And don't forget—Van is "one of us", too!

Wonders About Effect On Son

Monday 3/29/99 Dear Van & Olga: Just wanted to say how great it is to have a forum such as yours to talk about the joy of panties. Like many who visit this site I was first hooked on panties in my early teen years (12-13 or so). I went thru all the cyles of having this wonderful fetish which included abstinence for about 2 years in college. Now I have a family and two careers yet I still prefer the silky feel of nylon panties on an everyday basis. My collection consists of Warners, Maidenform, and most numerous of all, Hanes Her Way. All in all my collection numbers about 23 with hi-cut briefs being the majority. I'm curious - how many panty-lovers have you encountered who actually have families? I think that at some point I'll probably let go of my fetish as I am concerned about the effect it will have on my now-4-year-old son. Belinda

Dear Belinda, Thanks for writing! Though I have taken no surveys, I believe that panty-lovers are just as likely to have families as anyone else. Perhaps there are some strict fetishists who want panties only and have no interest in women. My guess is that they are in the minority. This would be a good question to pose to our readers.  I applaud you for thinking of your now 4 yr. old son and putting his needs before your own. However, you interest in panties is probably not something you can simply let go of, the way you would a hobby or other interest. You said yourself that you were "hooked" on panties as a teenager and that after 2 years of abstinence, you went back. This is very typical of us fetishists.  You might want to consider ways that you can continue to meet your own panty needs that do not affect your son. I had to do this while raising my daughter. It can be done.  Van

Send Van & Olga your queries. We'll publish them, and Van & Olga's thoughts here on the site. (Anonymously, of course)

Van is a lifelong panty-lover with a degree in Counseling Psychology. For years he wondered if he would ever understand his attraction to undies. According to Van, he never really has. He considered and ultimately rejected psychoanalytic and psychological interpretations of deviance. Eventually he came to see it an innocent yet complex form of sexual imprinting. At a certain point Van decided it was an O.K., even desirable inclination and never looked back.

Van comments, "I am very interested in how other panty lovers attempt to either integrate or hide their panty interest from their wives, lovers, or girlfriends. I believe that the more secretive one is the more compulsive a habit becomes. Sharing this most intimate attraction and desire with a loved one on the other hand offers the possibility of genuine acceptance, better sex, and a stronger relationship. Having tried both approaches and varying degrees of openness about it, I would like to share some of what I've learned. I want to celebrate panty love and help others (including couples) have fun with it without feeling guilty or weird."

Olga is Van's partner and also has a degree in Counseling. Olga has enjoyed very satisfying sex with Van for the many years of their relationship. Still, she was initially quite puzzled when she realized that her undies held a particular fascination for him. Gradually, over time, she understood that their sexual fulfillment and his propensity were not mutually exclusive, and found ways to incorporate his interests with hers. Olga comments, "Still, there are some aspects that both bewilder, and, at times, trouble me. I look forward to sharing my viewpoints with interested readers and, perhaps, their partners, offering my own unique experience and suggestions."

"If your fondness for panties is a concern for you or for someone you care about, you have a question, or just want to share your story with someone, drop us a line. Olga and I may not always agree with one another, but we pledge to tell it the way each of us sees it."

—Van and Olga