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TBC tips a nod to all those influential people in Enoch's life
And some others we made
up |
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NEW ENTRY! April
2004 |
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Mike "Streets" Skinner
Prada-Sporting, Lyrical Genius, Football
Factory Fan.
"EVERY WEEK he would wear this:- orange satin shirt from
top man black marks and spencers suit jacket borrowed from dad black lee
jeans, one size too big brother dan's shoes. and I mean, I ain't no fashion freak, but he
wore this every week for nearly a year, until I gave him a yellow lacoste t-shirt,
which he then wore for the next year. it became embarrassing, people would come up to me
and say - "when is your mate gonna change his clothes, is he a bit weird or
something. pluss every time you were talking to a bird, he'd come over, cock-blocking and
embarrassing both himself and you, so I kinda left him to his own devices for a
bit." - Mike's Mate, Crispy. |
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Thierry "VaVaVoom" Henry (French for Terry "Jog On" Henry)
Whatever team you support, you have to admit
this man has class. Other teams can only dream of having
him. However, he will always be at Arsenal as long as they
play at Highbury.
Knows our Enoch through the well publicised
Nike World Cup 2002 advert where Patrick Vieira, amie d'equipe (that's team-mate), was
Enoch's body double. |
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Ian "I am Enoch" Botham
In the words of the Great Eno himself, “If
there’s one person who’s influenced me – someone who is a maverick,
who does that (one finger) to the system – it’s Ian
Botham. Because Beefy will happily say, ‘That’s what I think of your
selection policy, Newell. Yes, I’ve hit the odd Plymouth
defender. Yes , I’ve enjoyed the odd goal. But will you piss off and
leave me alone, I’m walking to John O’Groats for some
spastics. He played for Scunthorpe and managed to play cricket for
England. I am inspired to do the same, only for Luton and
darts is probably more likely.” |
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Eric Gartside, a.k.a. Peter
Kay
Never speak ill of Northerners again after this
comic genius wrote and performed his own material on Coronation Street in January 2004.
Eric: (about food served at restaurant) By
'eck, you don't get much do you?
Blonde Bint:
It's very well presented though...
Eric: Aye, so is Blue Peter. |
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Garth "The Water's Dead!"
Marenghi
New, up and coming writer of the horror genre.
His most notable book, Dead Centre, was based on Enoch and his
ability to blast them in from 40 yards, straight down the
middle of the pitch.
Quote: "My God! Something with huge legs is
heading straight for me! Tell the Mayor to shut Luton pleasure beach
immediately. I will not be held responsible for the damage
these giraffantine legs will do!"
Others in his bibliography can be found here -
www.garthmarenghi.com |
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Robert "Consortium"
Kilroy-Silk
This fine man was castigated by the Beeb for speaking out
against the Arab nation.
Truth is - if it wasn't for his straight-talking, Gurney
would still be in power and Enoch would not have a job at
Kenilworth Road.
Some conspiracy theorists suggest that his exit from
television was a ploy in order to take up his position as Chief
Executive at LTFC within his new consortium
which includes Trisha and Jeremy Paxman. |
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Rolf "Luton Til I Die"
Harris
Previously known for his antics with wobbly
boards and small animals, Rolf was the first to say of Our Enoch,
"Do you know what it is yet?".
His Antipodean knowledge passed on to Eno meant
that he, at a very young age, could not only skin a kangaroo, but he
could tell the difference between XXXX and Fosters. This
proved to be vital in his quest to join the ranks at LTFC at
whatever level he could get. And was formative in
his decision to drink Stella. |
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Marlon "Safe Hands"
Beresford
Easily the best-twixt-sticks man at Luton since
Officer Dibble or Les Sealey, this man needs no
introduction.
Has numerous requests for his presence at
on-pitch weddings flooding in every day. He will boldly go where no
other (Embo, Ovengloves, etc) would dare to tread. Clean
sheets are the order of the day, unless you are sexually fixated
with the man, which most,
I am pleased to tell, are not.
An ACG, end of. Unfortunately, soon after this went to print, Marlon left
for Barnsley. Gone but not forgotten. Let's hope he
has a shit game against us next time
though, eh? |
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Bob "Mmmmmmm" Monkhouse
Mr Hell himself, our Bob has been through it
all to get where he is today. A native of Marston Moretaine, he was
surprisingly recruited on to the Dark Side by Elton John in
an effort to cynically further his career prospects. However, a
chance meeting with TBC in a pub in Nottinghamshire led to an arm-wrestling
duel to the death in which the loser would have to support the other
one's club. Sufficed to say, old Monky lost and has been a
Hatter ever since. He has also absolved TBC of all blame for his
son's untimely death, but has yet to give the Carpenter's record back. Has no
discernible connection with our Eno, but still an ACG nonetheless.
Sadly, the Monk died in December 2003. His genius
will be missed, especially as he has no apparent heirs to the
throne. |
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Bobby "He's Behind You!"
Davro
A true panto legend and impressario-exquisite,
Bobby was responsible for teaching Eno the art of fooling the
opposition into thinking he was someone else. However, all he could muster
was second-rate impressions of B-List stars so he decided to cut
loose from the Davro-drenched influences and go
solo.
Tragically, Davro's own career ended when
people realised that Duncan Norvelle doing Duncan Norvelle was
marginally more convincing than Davro's own
rendition. |
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