Battle Between the
Sticks
The Mass Debate
Marlon vs Morten
A long time ago, in a distant galaxy, a battle raged.
It was actually a few days ago, in Bedfordshire
mainly, and more of a minor disagreement.
For years people pontificated and rumoured on who was
the best Luton player of all time. It spawned many a
discussion on who would be the best team to play at any given time. It
became known as the Greatest Luton XI.
It was becoming pretty boring, to be perfectly
honest. There wasn’t a chance in hell of all of them playing at the same
time, (a) because of the age difference, (b) because some of them were
(for all intents and purposes, dead) and (c) most of them had moved on
from the Luton Town “Academy” and had procured
lucrative contracts with the Big Boys without the use of some scandalous
phone vote and subsequent rigged eviction system.
And so, the Best Goalie argument was born. We have
had Les Sealey and his able stand-in, Andy Dibble,
debated since the dawn of time. Or 1988 as the case may be.
In 2002-03, Luton got through 7 keepers. The Good,
The Bad and the Plain Embryonic. Ben Roberts was an
astute loan signing, as was Lars Herschfeld. The two mainstays, however,
were perfectly indistinguishable. Embo the Walrus and Ovengloves
were the epitomy of shit. They were interchangeable at the drop
of a Kinnear put down, and nobody could tell the difference. Beckwith was
young, but a welcome change to these regular goons. Brill was a
mere twinkle in Flaarp, the God of Goalies’ eyes.
And so unto the 2003-04 era. Beckwith was the Ace of
Spades. Good showing from the tail end of last season,
interest from Arsenal – but with knees like balsa wood supports on the
Severn Bridge. Brill, unfairly
blamed for a 4-2 tonking at Brentford, only for Beckwith to return and
please the Ralgex corporation no-end with a 6-3 reverse in southern
climes. They even did a double act at Oldham.
It comes down to two names. What has become known as
past, for he did fcuk off to another club at short
notice, and present, i.e. what we have got now. Beresford.
Hyldgaard.
One, the most famous Yorkshireman in the Three
Counties since Compo from LotSW. The other, too many vowels
in his name to be real.
VS
THE FACTS
Marlon – fan favourite. English. Thirty-something.
Loads of first team experience. Impresses from the
start. Who the fcuk wouldn’t after the Walrus and Ovengloves?! But yes, he
was GOOD! He commanded the box like no other. He actually saved the
ball when he dived and caught the
ball when your 6 year old daughter would have. People without 6 year old
daughters, or indeed, any off-spring, could make the same claim
as it is doubtful anyone would check.
Morten – had the dubious pleasure of following
Marlon’s footsteps in the box. Danish.
Twenty-something. Fcuking huge. About 3 first team outings in as many
years. Not as commanding or as confident at face value. People say
he fists a lot. I can’t comment on his private life, but what I do
know is this:
Marlon: Played = 17 Clean
Sheets = 29.4% Goals Conceded = 1 per game
Morten: Played = 7 Clean
Sheets = 57.1% Goals Conceded = 0.7 per game
On those facts alone, I would always
say:
SUPPORT THE FCUKING TEAM! GET BEHIND
WHOEVER PLAYS WITH ALL YOU’VE GOT AND WE CAN
ONLY GO ONE WAY! UP.
Next week: Ahmet Brkovic vs Peter
Holmes
Cheers
EA