|
|
|
||||||||
Peter Hume
Attended Thornton Hall 1982-1984
e-mail: P1Hume@aol.com
October 3, 2000
I have somehow become a television writer/producer in L.A. At the moment, I am supervising producer on the WB show "Charmed." Back at Thornton, I never thought I would end up in Hollywood, but here I am, and no doubt my experience at Thornton directly connects to where I am now. I guess she was right to make us wear those awful leotards.
I will write more later -- maybe an essay or something. I have so many memories about Thornton, both good and bad. I remember at one point my parents wanted to pull me out because they thought it was a cult -- but that's another story.
*
Addendum: August 29, 2003
Harris
Silverman's piece on the trauma of Thornton really hit home for me. I attended
Thornton in the mid-'80s, and my time there was completely life-altering.
The place was strange, to be sure, but for the first time in my life I felt
like I was in an environment where I fit in. I'd always been crap at math,
and I loved the arts, specifically drawing and painting, so Thornton seemed
perfect for me. Actually, Miss Greig seemed perfect for me -- because, as
we all know, Thornton was not a school, it was a personality. To try to separate
the school from the woman is pointless.
Perhaps it was because I was a decent artist, perhaps because I was so fascinated by archetypes and Jung, or because I read Colin Wilson's "The Outsider" at Angela's recommendation and was so struck by it. But whatever the reason, got caught up in the culture of the school and I quickly rose to a kind of Golden Boy status. I was given special treatment, praised publicly, and I feel like I had a unique connection with Miss Greig. Looking back, it occurs to me that the special connection had much more to do with Angela's psychological needs than with my ability. Here was this young man who sat on the edge of his seat listening to 'the word' of the master and taking it all as if it were holy writ. I was a true believer, utterly indoctrinated into the cult of Angela. I both feared and idolized her. A kind word or a compliment from her could make my day, while a criticism or slight would be crushing. No doubt Miss Greig was aware of the power she had over me (and everyone else) and I suppose that knowing she had us utterly in her grip gave her the sense of importance and control she so badly needed.
After my first year at Thornton, Miss Greig asked me to stay on and work at the school over the summer. I spent the next few months painting and cleaning up around the school, working closely with her and Mr. Mackey. Christ, I even had them over to my apartment for dinner. I remember feeling special -- like I'd been anointed by the great lady -- but it was when she told me -- only half-jokingly -- that she wanted me to go to college, then come back and run Thornton when she retired, that I truly felt like I had earned a special place in her... er, um... heart (?) It's strange -- even twenty years later, I feel a certain pride in this.
But such was the power of Miss Greig. Thornton Hall was not a school so much as a cult. It was an institution set up to feed the ego needs of one woman. To her credit (I suppose) she managed to construct a reality for herself that put her at the center of a universe of her own design. To be fair, I don't suspect any of this was conscious on her part. I imagine she felt that all she did was a great human sacrifice, and a gift to the baby bunnies lucky enough to hop into her world. But the reality, I think, had far more to do with a fiercely narcissistic personality. Think about it -- the boys all standing when she entered the room. The leather boots and see-through gowns. Not really the dress of your typical schoolmarm. And what about that hugely erotic bronze of herself on public display in the office? A bronze she did of herself! The woman was a piece of work.
My second year at Thornton was difficult. Not only was I living by myself in a basement apartment (my father had re-married and I couldn't deal with the new stepmother) but I was beginning to deal with the fact that I was gay. By the end of that second year, I was fully involved in the cult of Thornton and my friends on the outside, and my family, were becoming concerned that I was getting freaky. I had become intoxicated with the romantic notion of the suffering artist, and my pain felt like a badge of honor -- as if it validated me somehow, and made me a true artist. The notion of suffering innocence that was so often referred to at Thornton seemed central to my soul. I'm not sure how it happened, but for whatever reason, it had been worked out with Miss Greig that I would split my grade 13 into two years, the second year of which I would help teach art half the time and study half the time. That meant I would essentially be staying for grade 14 -- which, quite insanely, seemed like a good idea at the time. It was at this time that my family became concerned, stepped in and pulled me from the school.
When I abandoned the plan of grade 14, I remember feeling that my defection from Thornton was an enormous betrayal of Miss Greig. And she did little to assuage my feelings. I ended up leaving Canada entirely and going to a school in California to study film -- but even on the other side of the continent, I couldn't shake the power she had over me. I felt guilty for not returning and I wanted to explain the reasons for my decision. I sat down and I wrote Miss Greig a seven-page letter detailing all the trauma of my personal life -- and specifically my concern that I might be homosexual. It was a painful and heartfelt expression of pain and angst (hey, I was 19) but I felt that after all she had done she deserved the truth. But really, I suppose I was desperate for some kind of validation from her. I mailed the letter, and I waited. Three weeks later I got back one of those handwritten cards. On it, the words: "I received your very long letter. Angela Greig." That was it. Nothing more. It was horrible. I felt rejected utterly, and completely betrayed. When I heard through a friend that she had told them that I would "never make it in Hollywood," the betrayal was complete. I had left the cult, so I was dead to her.
A few years later, after I had written a Disney movie that starred the great British actor Sir John Gielgud, I sent her a tape of the show, and stopped by to say hello. It was supposed to be my prodigal moment. The student returning to the master after having a achieved success in the world. It was supposed to be my "I made it when you said I wouldn't." It didn't turn out that way. We had a brief but uncomfortable conversation in her private office. Me telling her how much of an influence she had been on me, and her nodding politely. I mentioned the letter. She told me not to worry about it -- she knew I would get married and have children and send them all to Thornton. (Wait, didn't I tell you that I was gay?) It was her final little dig, and she won that match too. But it closed a chapter for me. It was the last time I ever saw her.
I still occasionally have dreams about her -- strange after all this time. Good or bad, Miss Greig was a powerful force in my life and she very much influenced the direction I have taken. I now live in Los Angeles, where I am a television writer/producer. I've done okay for myself, have a decent career, and I am fairly confident that without her I would not be here today. It was at Thornton that I first worked in theater, first got a chance to direct and think about drama. It was a strange and twisted time that caused me a lot of pain. But it also opened up a whole new world for me. I was never a "normal" kid, and somehow being at such an odd school seemed right for me. Looking back on it now, I'm not sure I would do it differently. But, that said, the woman did pretty much f--- me up for several years.
I don't have any kids yet, but if I did, and if Angela was still teaching, they would not be attending Thornton Hall.
*
*
School Ties: Thornton Hall Alumni
Yearbook: Photos and Memorabilia
Thornton Hall Private School, Thornton Hall Private High School
Thornton Hall High School, Thornton Hall School