In honour
of Hallowe'en AND for the birthdays of Judes and Denise R ....
Thanks to Rita for the card and the Victorian poem idea!
Celtic Hallowe'en
"BALDERDASH!"
Carolyn looked up from her book to see the Captain scowling at the
magazine. "What is balderdash?" she asked, mildly.
"Such tripe! Listen to this. ‘According to Celtic tradition, on
Hallowe'en night you can use a mirror to see the face of your soul mate.
First, you must light a single candle. Just before midnight, all others
must leave the room and you must darken the room except for your candle.
Facing the mirror and holding the candle in front of you with both
hands, you must close your eyes and count to twelve. When you get to
twelve, you can open your eyes. In the mirror, just over your shoulder,
you may see the reflection of the face of your soul mate. The image may
disappear quickly, but, whatever you do, don't turn around until it's
gone.' I simply cannot believe that anyone would believe such blatant
nonsense!"
He threw down the magazine and went to stand by the fireplace,
staring broodingly at the model of his ship. Martha had taken Jonathan
and Candy in to Schooner Bay to go door-to-door with their friends.
Carolyn had remained at Gull Cottage on the off-chance that some
children would be out this far to do their trick-or-treating. It had
never happened before, though. Somehow a REAL haunted house on
Hallowe'en was a place to be avoided. Now Carolyn looked down at her
book again, then smiled. "Would you like to hear what I'M reading
about?"
"Romance, no doubt." he grumbled.
"In a way, yes. But it's a romance between the ghost of a thirteenth
century Scottish woman who meets a modern American man who takes over
"her" keep." The Captain's head came up sharply. Carolyn smiled to
herself and continued, "She haunts the keep along with an entire
garrison of other ghosts who tell her she can change her costume which
she hasn't changed in years." Carolyn then looked at the Captain. "You
know, you haven't changed yours, either. Well, except the two times
I've seen you in your dress uniform."
"Twice? Madam, I only recall donning it for your parents'
anniversary!"
"It was at your lawn party here at Gull Cottage. We waltzed. We
almost k..." Carolyn broke off, her face flushing.
"We almost .... what?" he sounded intrigued and he swung around to
bend over her.
"Never mind. It was just a dream." she refused to look at him, and
tried to concentrate on the book in her lap.
"Sounds like a delightful dream."
Carolyn sighed before she was aware of it, her face reflecting the
longing she still felt for the dream's completion. "Oh, it was. Just
too short." Then she shook herself and continued in a brisk tone, "Now,
about changing, Captain ..."
"Madam, what would you have me change into?"
Pondering the possibilities, Carolyn wondered if at some point he had
been a pirate. Oh, she knew he denied it, but she wondered. Despite
his impeccable clothes and polished manner, Carolyn sensed something
primitive, almost savage, lying just beneath his surface. It was a
something which was, at times, dark and somehow unnerving. The Captain
was someone one would not wish to cross ... one accustomed to demanding
-- and getting -- what he wanted. She spoke at last. "Something like
Errol Flynn always wore. You've surely seen him on TV. Tight dark
trousers, baggy white shirt, cutlass at his side ..." Carolyn shrugged.
"Whatever pirates wore back then."
His face darkened. "I was not a pirate, Madam." he said, curtly, as
he turned and strode back to stand in front of the fireplace.
"I know that, Captain." Carolyn spoke earnestly as she stood and
followed him.
"Yet you would have me dress as such?" Captain Gregg's eyes were
sharp as he swung around to face her again. "Playing at dress up the
way the children are tonight?"
"Just for a change ..."
"Very well, madam. For you."
Carolyn's mouth fell open as, in an instant, the Captain looked
entirely different. She had thought him magnificent before, but now she
couldn't think of an appropriate word to describe her feelings as she
gazed at him. In fact, she couldn't think, period.
"But I am NOT a pirate. I never stole a thing in my life!" he
insisted, his hand naturally falling to the hilt of the cutlass.
"You stole my heart." Carolyn muttered in a low voice, then she spun
away from him and stared into the flames. She hadn't really said that
out loud, had she? Did she just admit to him that ...?
"Did I?" suddenly he was close beside her, his husky voice forcing
her to look up at him. "Did I really?"
After a long moment, Carolyn drooped. "No." she whispered. "No, you
didn't steal it." Her next words were spoken in such a low voice he
almost missed them. "I gave it to you. God help me, but I gave it to
you willingly."
For a long moment, the only sound in the room was the crackling of
the fireplace. Then Carolyn looked back at him, forcing a light laugh,
and said brightly, "You know what the man did next in the book?"
"No." the Captain accepted her abrupt about-face, and stepped away
from her slightly.
"He decided to go back in time, to try to save her life, to change
history. Instead of her being killed, he wanted to bring her back with
him to the present."
The Captain rolled his eyes again. "No wonder your children have
such vivid imaginations. What a ridiculous idea."
"No more ridiculous than seeing ghosts!" Carolyn retorted. "I think
it's a lovely idea!"
"Bilge." he said succinctly.
"Just think. If I could travel back in time, I could come to Gull
Cottage that stormy day when you shut your windows, then fell asleep in
front of the faulty gas heater. I could save you. Change history." She
was fired by the thought, although in the back of her mind was a little
voice piping up with the niggling questions, ‘would he still haunt Gull
Cottage? Would I still get to meet him in the here and now?'
"I would not want it changed." he said, emphatically.
Carolyn stared at him, blankly. "But you were so incensed when they
brought in the verdict of suicide! Why would you not want history
changed?"
"Because I would not have remained here, haunting Gull Cottage for a
century, and I would not have met you." His eyes were steady on hers.
"You mean more to me than life itself, my dear."
Carolyn swallowed, but she couldn't look away. At last she said
softly, "I would love to have seen you then. To have lived with you in
your time ..."
"I can create an illusion of what Gull Cottage looked like in my
day. And do the same for you, my dear ..." He waved his hand.
Everything began to shimmer as she stared around. Much of the
furniture she was used to seeing in the living room faded out, and
different pieces emerged from the fog. The lights vanished, and were
replaced by the softer glow of lamp and candle. Even her chair changed
to another. Then Carolyn realized that the shimmer was covering her as
well. A shiver ran over her, then she felt the brush of hair on her
shoulders, felt the warm wool of a long gown. She looked down at the
dark green dress, and a shock of awareness went through her. She knew
she was pregnant, hugely pregnant -- with his child. Her hand went
automatically to the bulge which kicked in that instant, and her eyes
widened as she looked at him.
A wicked grin crossed his face. "Were you to have lived in my time,
with me, you would have been my wife, and you would have looked like
this as often as possible, my dear."
Carolyn looked down, and noticed that her wedding ring was gone, and
in its place was a Claddagh ring, set with emeralds which winked at
her. "Oh, Captain ..." she whispered.
"However, I should not jest with you tonight. Not on a night such as
this one." He stared hard at her, and she shrank back in the chair,
suddenly feeling bereft. With a gasp, she realized she was as slim as
ever.
"I ... if having a baby or losing weight could only be that simple."
she attempted to laugh, but her mouth was too dry. She stood and
crossed to a mirror she hadn't noticed before. Peering into its
shadowy depths, she saw his face behind hers.
"I feel like Alice, having gone through the Looking Glass. My world
is no longer the way it used to be." she spoke faintly.
"Remember the legends of such mirrors — ones which reflect your true
soul mate ..."
Carolyn turned to face him. "It does." Then she looked down at
herself once more. "I find it so hard to believe ... that it's an
illusion."
Slowly his hands reached out. As they closed over hers, her head
jerked up and she stared at him in surprise, then in delighted
anticipation.
"Now we are BOTH illusions ..." he drew her closer.
She caught her breath as his lips moved onto her cheekbones. She
felt heat gather low in her stomach. A very small part of her brain
pulsed a distant warning; a tiny voice cautioned her to call a halt.
She knew where this kind of activity led. And for all he seemed human,
Daniel Gregg was not alive. She could not allow this to continue, or
she would find herself nursing a broken heart once again. However, it
had been so very long since she had indulged her feminine yearnings.
Being a mother was so very different. She allowed herself a passing
thought; What would it hurt to enjoy the prelude to lovemaking?
She could have screamed in frustration when she heard the sound of
the car doors and running feet up the flagstone path. Not again! Not
like her dream! She wanted to kiss him before the illusory bubble burst
on her! But even as she leaned forward, he stepped away from her, and
his hands went behind his back as he rocked on his heels. Sure enough,
it was Martha and the children back from trick-or- treating.
As they burst into the living room, Candy stared then said, "Is that
YOU, Captain, dressed like that, or are you Mr. Callahan back again?"
"It's the Captain, silly." Jonathan said. "Can't you recognize him?"
Martha eyed the Captain and rolled her eyes. "Even YOU dress up for
Hallowe'en? Couldn't you have persuaded Mrs. Muir to change as well?
Where is she, anyway? Upstairs typing on that infernal machine, I
suppose. Come along, children! It's late. We won't bother your mother
tonight. Upstairs on the double! And no more candy, mind!"
Carolyn gaped at her. Couldn't Martha see her? Had she suddenly
become invisible? Martha, however, had hustled the children upstairs to
get ready for bed and make sure they brushed their teeth. All three
were very tired from walking all over Schooner Bay for their loot bags.
Stunned, Carolyn realized that they had not noticed her at all! They
had only seen the Captain!
"‘Tis but an illusion," he reminded her softly. "What you are seeing
here is not real. Oh, my dear, shall we do about us, I wonder?"
"I don't know," Carolyn whispered. "I want so much for us to be
together, but ... oh, I am so torn."
"Shall we part, then -- never to hold each other as we would wish,
never to touch each other, to kiss each other," then his voice dropped
seductively and he continued, "never to make love together?"
Carolyn stared at him mutely.
He went on, "Should I vanish from Gull Cottage? Even worse, shall I
stay, knowing that we must constantly be reminded of each other?
Knowing that we will forever gaze at each other from across a room?
Knowing that our souls are inextricably intertwined because of our
closeness, yet we are unable to be together ...?" His face twisted.
"BLAST!"
One look at the Captain, and Carolyn's heart shattered again.
Somehow, she sensed he would not touch her. He would not take her to
his bed, love her thoroughly, and then walk away. Shakespeare wrote,
"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of
death but once." That might have been fine for Julius Caesar, Carolyn
thought bitterly, however this brave Captain Gregg will die many times
more than he has already. And as for herself ...
He spoke huskily, as if he were arguing with himself. "I should
leave you to live your life. I must go, and soon. And I must not give
in to the desires I feel, for ‘twould be impossible to leave you -- a
woman who warms my heart and inflames my soul -- were I to taste
everything you could give me. ‘Twould be wrong to ask you to give
yourself completely, because a true gentleman would not tamper with a
woman's heart. Especially if it would shatter his own. And in spite of
the pirate's attire, I am a true gentleman."
Carolyn could have cried. Then anger flared, born of her high
emotions. She wanted to wound him as she had been wounded. "Fine,
then! Don't make love with me! Frankly, I didn't find lovemaking all
that earthshaking anyway!"
The Captain stared at her, then his eyes darkened, and a grim smile
crossed his face. "Madam, you would never have been able to say that
had you been married to ME!"
"Oh, you are insufferable!" Carolyn pushed past him. "I'm going
upstairs!"
"Hove to, woman!" he ordered, grasping her elbow and forcing her to
stop.
She swung around and yanked her elbow free. "Don't speak to me as if
I'm one of the ... the miserable ships that took you out to sea!"
"Miserable ships!" he roared. "Miserable ships! I will have you
know that without those miserable ships, Gull Cottage would never have
been built, and you would not now be standing on my deck!"
"Forgive me, Captain Gregg." Carolyn took a deep breath. "Not the
house I leased to make a home, but your deck, of course. I had a
temporary lapse of memory. You may be assured that it will not happen
again. Unless, of course, it's absolutely unavoidable."
The Captain struggled to control himself. At last he spoke quietly.
"I fear we are once again at odds. And I do not wish to continue this
way. Not when we have experienced something as wonderful as tonight has
been, or could be." He paused, then said, "I apologize, my dear."
Carolyn hung her head, then her hands reached out to him. As he
enfolded her in his arms, she traced patterns on the white shirt
covering his chest with shaking fingers. At last she looked up at him,
her green eyes shimmering. "Daniel, I love you. I know it's illogical,
and I know it would be termed impossible to the world. But there it
is. Women ARE illogical, as you say. Please ... this is a special
night. A night when the line between our worlds has blurred. We MUST
make the most of it!"
"I do not want to hurt you." his voice was hoarse.
"Trust me, Daniel, it would hurt me ever so much MORE were you to
walk away from me."
"And when the illusion is over? For I fear it cannot last. What
then, my dear?"
"Our love will remain, like the wind that blows across the water and
land, or the sea that rushes in upon the wild shore. Daniel, our love
is boundless, everlasting."
"Carolyn, my love, with your talent for finding the right words ..."
his lips were on hers, teasing and tormenting her.
"Yes? Daniel!" she finally went on tiptoe, grabbed his head and held
him firmly against her, kissing him deeply. Then she relaxed, and sank
back on her heels. "You were saying, ‘with my talent for words' ...?"
her smile was impish, infectious.
"You should be a writer."