Damsel in Distress

   Carolyn waved as Jonathan and Candy left on the school bus.  Then she made her way back into the kitchen and sat at the table with another cup of coffee.  Martha was busy making her shopping list while she finished her coffee.
   "How about veal cutlets for supper?" Martha asked, looking up from the flyers.  "They're on sale."
   "Fine." Carolyn was a little abstracted, thinking over the story she was in the middle of writing.
   Martha drained her cup and stood up.  "Well, I guess I'd better get going.  There could be a large crowd in the stores today!"
   "Why?" Carolyn asked, idly.
   Martha grimaced.  "It's this booming metropolis of Schooner Bay ... the first day of the sales, everyone comes out of the woodwork!"  She washed up her cup, then took off her apron, and went to her room to get ready.
   "And what are YOU planning to do this lovely day, madam?" came the Captain's deep voice in Carolyn's ear.
   She started slightly, then relaxed.  "Good morning, Captain.  I guess I have to do something unusual ... like write!"  She smiled up at him.
   For once he didn't return her smile.  "It's my opinion that you should probably go for a brisk turn along the beach ... you seem to be moving in a bit of a fog this morning.  Perhaps the fresh sea breeze could sharpen your senses."
   "And you're offering yourself for company?"
   "I, madam?" he drew himself up, stiffly.
   Carolyn's eyes narrowed.  "Why do you want me out of Gull Cottage, Captain?" she asked directly, her eyes sparkling with humour.
   At that moment, Martha came back.  "Did you say something, Mrs. Muir?"
  "Oh, no, Martha.  Just...thinking aloud again." Carolyn got up and washed out her cup.  The Captain disappeared.  Carolyn got Martha some grocery money, and gave her the car keys. 
  "By the way, Mrs. Muir, I've left you a casserole to heat up -- Ed is going to take me out for lunch for his birthday."
  "HIS birthday?  And he's taking you out?"
  "Well, I promised him a cherry pie for tonight if he would take me out at noon!"
   Carolyn laughed and said, "Go ahead.  I'll be fine on my own." After Martha had gone, she stood at the foot of the stairs, debating with herself.  She really didn't feel like writing ... maybe a walk WOULD do her some good.  But what if she came up with some brilliant ideas and forgot them by the time she got back to her typewriter?  Finally she shrugged, tucked a small pad and pencil into the pocket of her jacket, and went out the door, too.  Scruffy was lying in the sun on the porch and just wagged his tail a little ... wouldn't even lift his head.  Obviously HE'D be no company either!
   Starting down the little-used road north of the house, Carolyn turned back once to look up at the window of her room.  She thought she saw the glint of sun on the Captain's telescope, and wondered if he were watching her.  She waved at him, beckoning him to join her ... but he didn't appear.  Maybe he hadn't been there after all.
   Deciding to go down to the beach, she carefully picked her way down the cliffs, then across the sand.  Still heading north, she clambered up a pile of wet rocks.  Stopping at the top to catch her breath, Carolyn looked back again at Gull Cottage, but it was no longer in sight.  She wondered briefly again why the Captain had urged her go out, yet hadn't joined her as he often did.
   Looking out to sea, shading her eyes, Carolyn watched the waves crashing in, feeling the spray even where she stood.  No wonder the rocks were still wet ... the tide had gone out hours ago!  Seeing something floating in one of the tide pools in the rocks, she stepped over to see what it was.
   Just as she was taking a step, a particularly large wave splintered with a thunderous roar, this time drenching her.  Momentarily blinded and off balance, Carolyn came down awkwardly, and her foot slid into a space between the rocks, jamming in solidly.  A split second later, a searing pain burned from her ankle to her head, and she cried out involuntarily. 
   The sharp pain almost caused her to be sick, and she clenched her teeth together and forced herself to stay calm.  After a few deep breaths, she tried to pull her foot out, but the pain came in waves again.  Carolyn groaned both in agony and despair. 
   Once more she stopped moving her leg, trying to settle herself somewhat comfortably on the rocks, then took stock of her situation.  She hoped her leg wasn't broken, but she couldn't tell ... she couldn't see it below the knee!  The waves seemed to be getting bigger, and she was very wet and uncomfortable sitting where she was - - to say nothing of the pain!  The children were at school and would be until 3:45.  Martha was gone for the morning and part of the afternoon.  Unless the Captain happened to miss her, no one would even know she was away from Gull Cottage for at least four hours!  How could she have been so stupid!
   She looked again in the direction of Gull Cottage.  If only the Captain were at his telescope ... and if only he were to direct it, not out to sea, but instead to the beach ... and if only the cliffs were a little lower so she COULD be seen from where she was ...
   With the surf as rough as it was, no fisherman would be near shore in his boat either, so she had no hope of rescue from the sea.  And this part of the beach, being so rocky, was not a popular one with any one from the town.  Besides, of course, it WAS a private beach. 
   Carolyn groaned again, and shifted a bit.  The pain was finally dulling ... if she didn't move.  She tried wiggling her toes, and to her joy found that THAT didn't hurt.  Surely that meant it wasn't broken!  But any other kind of movement -- either up or down or twisting -- was immediately followed by another paroxysm of excruciating pain.
   Tears pricked at her eyes, and she angrily dashed them away.  She WOULD NOT feel sorry for herself!  If only she could think clearly... but there was no way she could concentrate on her story.  So if she couldn't think about her story, and she wanted to keep her mind off the physical ... she could think about the Captain!  That was normally something she refused to allow herself time to do.  Having spent many fruitless hours as the attraction between them built, along with the frustration knowing that nothing could ever be resolved in this lifetime, she had finally forced any such thoughts deep down where they wouldn't surface.  Over the months of knowing each other, she and the Captain had become closer and closer -- she now felt she knew him better than she had EVER known Richard.  In spite of the enormous differences in backgrounds, they had compromised on unessentials, and realized how alike they actually were in many ways.  Because of their unconventional relationship, they never spoke directly or candidly about their true feelings.  Both sensed it would hurt too much.  They needed a certain emotional distance to protect them from the bitterness of their physical separateness.  At times, their discussions HAD turned personal, and Carolyn always and deliberately kept the conversation light and sporadic, never looking at him too long in these moments.  She knew she could break much too easily.  She would be hurt far too much.  It wasn't his fault.  Or hers.  It was just the reality they were in right now.  She recalled suddenly with just a faint touch of bitterness that even in her dreams she couldn't get close enough to him for a kiss.  In particular, that one dream she had had when she ill with the flu -- the "ague", the Captain called it.  She STILL wasn't sure if it was the concoction given to her by the Captain that had caused the dream, OR the Captain himself, or just her own very vivid imagination, but the sheer delight of being in his arms while they danced remained.  Unfortunately, so did the frustration at AGAIN having missed being kissed by him!  Whether or not it was all in a dream, she had never felt quite the same towards Mrs. Coburn -- after all, if she hadn't fainted, the Captain's lips would have touched Carolyn's, and she would have had that memory to cherish now.  A slight chuckle escaped Carolyn at this point in her musings.  How ridiculous!  But then, so was her situation now...
   Carolyn looked around again.  Still no one in sight.  She looked at her watch.  Only half an hour had gone by.  A tentative attempt to move her leg resulted in another groan wrung from her lips and tears filling her eyes.  She closed them and swallowed the despair.
   At last she could bear it no longer, and she cried out, "Captain!  Oh, please, Captain!  Can you hear me?"  No answer.  Again a wave crashed over the rocks.  Carolyn was soaking wet, and her teeth were chattering in spite of her jacket.  She wished she had something warmer to wrap around herself ... and, except that she did NOT want to expose it to sea water, she remembered the shawl the Captain had given her about six months ago.  That was when she had first realized that he DID care for her.  For HER, not for his lost love of days gone by.  Because he had tricked Vanessa into leaving before Carolyn herself could leave, Carolyn knew his affection, devotion, his HEART belonged to her.  When he had draped the shawl about her, and told her how much he preferred the present, she had comprehended immediately his underlying feelings ... that was one moment she allowed her eyes to rest on his, to feel herself drawn in to his spiritual embrace.  But it didn't happen often.  One other time she remembered clearly now, too.  When HER former boyfriend Blair had arrived on the scene, the Captain had shown all too obviously his jealousy, but also how deeply he cared for her.  Carolyn understood instantly the significance of his willingness to make what for him was the greatest sacrifice he COULD make -- "facilitating" her romance with Blair for the sake of her happiness.  She could tell by the heartbreak in his eyes what it was costing him.  Unable to say what was in her heart, she could only look at him, her heart in her eyes, trusting that her eyes would tell him that HE had her deep and abiding love, for now and for always.
   "Captain!" her despairing cry broke again from her trembling lips.
"Captain, I need you!"  Then her voice sank to a whisper.  "Please, Daniel, I love you...!"  Oh, if only it were possible to shout THAT out loud, for all the world to hear and know!  But that could never happen.  "Captain!"
   "My dear woman, I could sense distress signals all the way to Gull Cottage!  WHY are you sitting here, wet and cold?"  The Captain suddenly WAS near, his voice puzzled.  Then his glance sharpened as he saw the lines of pain etched on her face.  "What is it?  What has happened?"
   "Oh, Captain..." for one dreadful moment, Carolyn wondered if he could possibly have heard her whisper, but the need of the moment forced her to push that question to the back of her mind.  "It's my leg ... I'm caught..."
   He came closer, peering down.  "You can't pull it out?"
   "Not without screaming with pain, I'm afraid." she tried to joke.
   "I cannot move the blasted rocks either.  I'm afraid my power isn't enough for THAT.  All I can do is go for help ... even that spineless buffoon, Claymore, has his moments ..."
   Carolyn winced again as she moved restlessly.  "Claymore's in Boston.  Please, don't leave me alone again..."
   "But, Mrs. Muir, what choice do we have?" he sounded bewildered.
   "I don't want to be alone with Vanessa and Blair!" she said, wildly, knowing she was making no sense, but unable to stop the words.  "Captain, please..."
   "Madam, I fail to see what I can do..."
   Carolyn forced herself to get a grip of her emotions.  She gave him a tight smile, and said, "Do you have any smelling salts with you?"  She laughed slightly, then winced again.  "You're right.  I'll have to just pull.  But ... if I faint ..."
   "I cannot catch you, my dear." his voice was full of sorrow.  "Let me get some blankets and cushions.  At least then you'll fall on something soft ..."
   "And maybe some madeira to revive me?" her chuckle was faint and edged with pain.
   "May I say one thing, madam ... you may be many things female, but in times of crises, you have more courage than many a seaman under my command!"
   "Thank you." Carolyn's voice was a mere thread as her eyes clung to his.  "But, please... I need you here ..."
   "Only a moment, my word of honour, madam." he held up his hand and vanished, only to reappear an instant later with cushions and blankets which he proceeded to drape around and over her.
   "Now, madam, grit your teeth, and pull ... and I will do what I can."
   Carolyn closed her eyes, clenched her teeth and with her hands, tried to pull her leg out.  She felt pressure under her arms lifting her as well, but only for a second because the pain was so severe she blacked out.
   Opening her eyes, Carolyn stared up into the Captain's concerned face.  He looked as pale and shaken as she felt.  "How are you feeling, my dear?"
   "Better ... I think.  What...?"
   "We pulled, and managed to release your leg.  I'm afraid it's badly swollen, but it looks straight enough, so it may not be broken.  I couldn't leave you on the rocks, so while you were unconscious, I managed to drag you further up the beach."
   "How?" she forced out.  "You're just an illusion.  You said so, yourself!  Yet you can pick up Claymore and throw him down the stairs ... I don't understand..."
   "I'm not sure I do, myself!  I know that with a great deal of effort, I got you this far ... I also know that I do not have the energy nor the power to get you up the cliffs and home."
   Her eyes dropped.  Then she struggled to sit up, biting her lip so as not to yelp from the agony of the movement.  "I have to get this wet jacket off... I'm freezing!"
   The Captain held the blanket ready to wrap her in it when she had taken off the jacket.  He piled the cushions behind her so she could sit up.  Then he said, "Are you ready for some Madeira ... m'dear?"
   Carolyn smiled in spite of the haze of pain.  "Actually, I think I'd rather wait until we're home again, Captain."
  "You're sure, madam?"
  "It's probably for the best.  If the leg IS broken, I may need anesthetic, so I should avoid any food or drink until I know."
  "Ah, the wonders of modern medicine.  In my day, Madeira WAS an anesthetic!  Are you as comfortable as can be expected, Mrs. Muir?"
  "Yes." she winced again as she moved to snuggle into the blanket.  "It's a nice day, but it IS fresh down here on the beach!  And being wet with the cold water from the ocean wasn't helping matters any.  But I'm warming up now.  Thank you, Captain, for the blankets ... and for getting me away from the waves!"
  "I DO wish I could spirit you home with me.  You should be in bed!  Why the devil did that good-for-nothing sewer rat take off for Boston today?"
  "I believe the trip was planned for a while.  I didn't ask." Carolyn closed her eyes for a moment.  "And Martha won't be home at noon ... and even when she DOES get home, she won't think to look for me here unless you push Scruffy into barking and running this way..."
  "That'll be the day when THAT bit of fluff can do some rescuing.  You need a St. Bernard for that, madam!"
  "Well, he's good at barking." Carolyn defended the family pet automatically.
  "He is, at that." agreed the Captain.
  Carolyn's leg began to throb.  She tried to keep it from the Captain, but his keen eyes spotted the change in her face.  "It's your leg, isn't it?  I MUST get some help, Madam!"
   "But how?" she asked faintly.  "Only Jonathan can see you, and he's in school..."
   "Confound it, madam, he can MISS school for a day!  I'll pop in to his class and let the lad know he's needed at home."
   "But how will he get here?  And once he DOES, he'll just have to phone an ambulance..."
   "Of course, the phone!  I had forgotten.  I can call the ambulance, madam!  I just need to say where you are..." the Captain stood up, eager to DO something rather than just sit.  Always a man of action, it frustrated him to no end when he found himself in situations where he was helpless.
  "Please, Captain, come back soon." Carolyn begged, shamelessly.  "I don't want to be alone..."
  "Yes, you said that before."  A puzzled look came into his face, and he continued with a questioning air, "Alone with Vanessa and Blair?"
  Carolyn blushed.  "I ... I was just thinking about you ... I mean, about THEM ... while I was waiting for someone to come."
  "The THREE of us were in your thoughts?  Or the four of us?" he pressed, uncharacteristically urging her to tell him her fantasies. 
  Giving a short laugh, Carolyn looked away.  "Are you going to phone, Captain?"
  "I'd much rather continue this fascinating conversation..."
  "Captain!" Carolyn glared at him.  "GO!"  Then, as he chuckled and gave a slight bow, she added, softly, "But come back quickly..."
   "Aye, Madam." and he was gone.
   While he was gone, she dreamily recalled the poem he had recently written for her.  Of course, he had been embarrassed when she told him it was beautiful, and had insisted that it was merely some doggerel he had written many years before.  But she knew.  How could she not?  She still remembered every word vividly.  Still savoured each word.  "If only I could touch your hand ... If I could link your arm in mine ... and the most heart-rending of all that things that couldn't be, the one that meant the most to him, that "my lips cannot touch yours."  Echoing her innermost thoughts, the Captain longed for life ... not to sail the seas again, but only so they could finally touch.  Fulfil their destiny.  Be together as they were meant to be for all eternity.
   Carolyn sighed.  This close examination of her feelings was proving too much for her in her present weakened physical condition.  The poignancy was almost unbearable.  She HAD to push it back down deep inside!  She closed her eyes to hold back tears of frustration.
  "Madam?" the Captain's melodious voice caused her to snap her eyes open.  "Are you all right?"
  "No, I'm not." she admitted candidly.  "Is someone coming?"
  "Yes, they're on their way.  I expect it'll only be a few minutes.  Is there anything more I can do?"
  "No...except that I guess I'll have to get you to transport these blankets and pillows back to Gull Cottage.  I have no way of explaining how they came to be here!" she looked with vague regret at the comfort he had brought her.
  "I shall, when we hear them coming." he promised.  "But not until the last moment.  I shan't have you suffering needlessly."
  "Thank you."  Carolyn brought her gaze to his, and her heart lurched.  She looked away again quickly, unable to bear the tender, sympathetic expression she saw there.  She tried to think of something flippant to say to ease the tension of the moment, but her mind was blank.  Then, thankfully, she heard the siren as it wound up the road past Gull Cottage.  "Captain, please..."
  He nodded.  "Yes, I will take the blankets back." and he disappeared, as did the cushions and blankets. 
  Carolyn began shivering again, and wondered if it were a reaction to her accident or her thoughts of the last couple of hours.  Then the ambulance attendants were making their way down to the beach, and quickly she was being strapped in to a stretcher and on her way to the hospital.
  An hour and a half later, she was sitting glumly at the hospital, staring at her ankle.  X-rays had shown that it was not broken ... badly bruised and broken.  A cold pack had been applied to help get the swelling down, and she had been given painkillers.  A message had been sent to Martha via Ed Peevy that she was to come to the hospital AFTER lunch to take Carolyn home.
  "I'm glad to see the colour coming back into your face, my dear.  You're looking more like yourself." the Captain's voice sounded in her ear.  She jumped slightly, and winced.
  "Ouch!  Why do you keep DOING that?"
  "Doing what, Mrs. Muir?" again she had baffled him.
  "Startling me!  Upsetting me!  HURTING me!" Carolyn became aware that her voice was rising, and she was likely to attract some unwanted attention, so she clamped her lips together.  There was a moment of awkward silence, while she struggled for composure and the Captain frowned in puzzlement.  Finally Carolyn spoke again, more evenly and quietly, but still not looking at him.  "I'm sorry, Captain.  I guess I may LOOK more like myself, but I'm still not FEELING it.  I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
  "I'm aware that sometimes things are said out of context..." he began.
  "Please, Captain," she interrupted him, desperately.  "You have to leave!  I'll see you at home after a while."  Her wide green eyes finally met his, and the pleading in them made him swallow his arguments.
   He stiffened slightly, but said, formally, "Very well, Madam, I shall await your return to Gull Cottage."  With a tip of his head, he vanished. 
   Carolyn groaned inwardly.  Now she had hurt him!  All because she had foolishly allowed herself to dwell on their impossible relationship!  Why had she been so weak?  Never again, she vowed!  She couldn't bear the pain of seeing him hurt too.  Bad enough that she ached, unbearable that he should suffer for it as well!
  When Martha came to pick her up, Carolyn's ankle had been bound tightly in a tensor bandage, and she had been given crutches to use for a week or so.  She was instructed to loosen the bandage at night, but not leave it off, since the weight of even sheets and blankets could further the damage.
  Making her way up the stairs at Gull Cottage took almost all her grit, and Carolyn collapsed on the bed when she finally got there after washing off as much of the salt water as she could.  She longed for a bath, but was much too tired, so opted for a quick wash instead.  So much for getting her story finished today.  She wondered if she'd even be able to think clearly by tomorrow! 
   The Captain was conspicuous by his absence for the rest of the afternoon.  Jonathan and Candy were sorry for her, and spent a good deal of time after school running up and down stairs fetching things they thought she would be interested in.  Carolyn was glad when they finally went to bed!  Martha brought her up a tray with tea and toast on it and visited a little while they shared the late night snack.  Then she helped Carolyn loosen the bandage, and said good night, and turned off the light as she left.
   Carolyn lay still in the darkness, then whispered, "Captain?  Captain?  Are you here?"
   After a moment's pause, a candle flared by her bed.  "Aye, madam, I am here.  I'm always here."
   "Thank you again for everything you did today."
   "Like telling you to go for a walk instead of staying safe here at Gull Cottage?  Like refusing to go with you, and having you suffer there on the rocks alone?" the Captain's voice was surprisingly bitter.  "Like startling and upsetting and hurting you?"
   Carolyn sat up in her agitation.  "Captain, that's not fair!  I apologized for that!  It ... it was the pain, or the medication making me talk like that!  I know you would never intentionally hurt me...!"
   The two looked intently at one another, once more their eyes saying more than their lips ever would or could.  Then the Captain nodded.
   "May I see your ankle, Mrs. Muir?"
   Carolyn leaned back in the bed, and a mischievous grin crossed her face.  "Why, Captain, I'm surprised at you!  Asking a lady to show her ankle?" her voice was low and husky.
   The Captain looked surprised, then flustered, then admiration crossed his face.  But with typical arrogance and bluster, he spoke brusquely.  "Blast it, woman!  You know what I mean!"
   "Yes, Captain." Carolyn spoke quietly and sincerely.  "I know EXACTLY what you mean."