IN THE MIRROR
By Susan Smallwood and Susan Griffith

Part 12

Having recovered herself, Martha rose, "well, I 'ope 'e can give it to you."

Lucy smiled. "Now, suppose you go on downstairs and make us both a cup of tea. I'll finish up here."

"Yes, mum." Martha glanced at Lucy uncertainly, then went out, closing the door behind her.

Lucy watched her go, then went over to her new painting, but her eyes are soon drawn to the Captain's. "Well, Daniel?" Haven't you anything to say?"

But she received no answer, and with a sad look, she slowly walked away.

Carolyn thought the eyes in the portrait looked very sad. She was glad for a commercial break so she could think these things over. She was obviously not as unique as she had thought herself. When her

husband had died, Carolyn had believed that romance was now gone from her life. It was no longer necessary. She had her children, her home, her work. She needed nothing more. Certainly not the

complications of a relationship that was doomed from the start. Yes, the Captain, HER Captain Gregg, was arrogant and impossible, but at times he had a teasing manner about him that was utterly charming. How many times had she wished futilely that he was NOT dead? That he was alive and madly in love with her, and wanting to marry her? Well, he MIGHT be madly in love with her, and there was a slim chance that he would marry her if he could, but the fact remained that he was NOT alive, therefore all such ponderings were a waste of time. Carolyn was nothing if not practical. As often as possible.

Then, while the Captain was engrossed in a commercial about seafood, Carolyn's mind wandered again. She saw his hand resting in the now empty popcorn bowl, and found herself suddenly overcome by

an utterly ridiculous idea. How real WAS the Captain? Would he feel it if she touched him? Would she feel HIM?

Hesitantly she put her hand over his. A tingle, like a hint of static electricity, touched her. Her hand went through his to the bottom of the bowl. She looked down, speechless. His hand surrounded hers, like an aura. Real, but not real. What if it had been? Then she realized he was eying her speculatively. She snatched her hand

back. "I'm sorry ... I ... I thought there was more popcorn."

"Did you, my dear? Did you?" The tenderness in his voice, and the repetition of the words reminded her strongly of the first night they

had met, when she had claimed that he had deliberately brought her back to Gull Cottage. Again she marveled over the strangeness of

seeing a parallel to her story -- THEIR story -- on a movie. So many similarities! Names, events, words ... And yet, so many differences. Lucy seemed able to elicit so much more from HER Captain. Carolyn almost felt a little jealous, wishing her Captain would react in like fashion. Of course, perhaps it was just as well he didn't. It could be fairly uncomfortable to live with the tensions THAT might involve. Then, the commercials over, Carolyn pulled her attention back to the television screen.

It was a beautiful, moonlit evening that found Lucy and Miles in each others arms, on the small patio behind Gull Cottage. Breaking their kiss, Lucy leaned against Miles, her eyes shining.

"Happy?" Miles asked.

Lucy looked up at the stars,"oh! I - I've never felt like this."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me." Miles voice was ardent.

"Like looking down from high up," Lucy said, breathlessly. "All dizzy and unsure."

Miles held her closer, "You won't fall. I'll hold you."

"It isn't right. It can't be, to feel like this, like - I don't know."

"It is right. Because you're happy."

"Simple as that, is it?" Carolyn spoke softly. "Somehow, I don't think so."

"I believe you, yourself said once that happiness isn't everything." the Captain said. "Of course, you were talking about marriage."

"You know I didn't mean that! I was ... I was flustered when I said it." Carolyn wouldn't look at him when he chuckled softly.

Lucy stepped out of Miles' embrace, her eyes on the house. The lights in the kitchen blinked out, and she turned back to Miles. "Martha's gone up. It's Anna's bedtime."

"Just this once, pretend you've forgotten."

"But I didn't." she said, smiling.

"Just this one night."

"How could he urge her to forget her daughter?" the Captain was genuinely surprised. "He is behaving far worse than I thought!"

Lucy came to Miles, "There'll be so many nights, darling." she whispered, softly. "Two lifetimes full, till we're both old, and even Anna's grown and married."

At her words, a frown passed over his face.

"Look at that, I will warrant he does not plan to weigh anchor quite that long!" declared the Captain.

"Poor Lucy!" Carolyn said. She, too, could see the writing on the wall.

"What's wrong?" Lucy asked.

"I'm jealous. I'm even jealous of the little girl."

"But she's my daughter." Lucy said, gently. "I can't just forget my duty to her."

Miles looked at her possessively. "When I'm with you, I want you to forget about everyone else in the world, your duty and what the world will say."

"You must be a magician to make it seem all wrong to think of my duty, and only right that I..." her words ended, abruptly, as he pulled her into a kiss.

"No magician, merely a rat! Beware, my dear!" the Captain leaned forward, immersed in the story unfolding before his eyes.

From a distance, Captain Gregg stood, watching. Slowly, he turned away, an expression of pain etched across his face, and, heaving a sigh, went inside.

"Oh, no." Carolyn breathed. "Despite what he said, it would seem that a spirit CAN be hurt. That look on the Captain's face after he saw Lucy and Miles kissing ... it certainly seems to refute his statement that only the living can be hurt!"

"Of course a spirit can be hurt, my dear," the Captain's voice was low as he looked over at Carolyn. "It is only our body that is illusory. Our emotions and our desires remain linked to the mortal realm in many ways."

"But I thought you said ...?"

This time it was the Captain who shushed Carolyn.

In the early morning, Captain Gregg stood in the bow window, sadly watching Lucy sleep.

"Well, he sees nothing wrong with invading her room while she is asleep, yet berates Miles for watching her while swimming! I'd say he was inconsistent!" Carolyn said. "YOU don't do that, do you, Captain?

Watch me in my sleep, I mean?"

"I thought we were watching the movie." he evaded the question skillfully.

"I thought you were one woman with sense. But you're like all the rest of 'em. A fool for any man who'll promise you the moon, and end by taking everything ye have to give."

Lucy stirred in her sleep, trouble by dreams. The Captain approached the bed. "Oh, don't trouble yourself, m'dear." he said reassuringly. "It's not your fault. I should have known it was on the chart. You've made your choice. The only choice you could make. You chosen life, and that's as it should be, whatever the reckoning."

"Oh, no..." Carolyn felt the tears welling in her eyes.

Sitting down beside Lucy, the Captain's eyes stayed fixed on her face. "You must make your life amongst the living and, whether you meet fair winds or foul, find your own way to harbor in the end." he finished, smiling gently.

"Tell me he's not leaving!" Carolyn whispered.

At once, his smile faded. Leaning over her, he whispers near her face, "Lucia, listen to me. Listen, m'dear. You've been dreaming. Dreaming of a sea captain that haunted this house, of the talks ye had

with him, even a book ye both wrote together. But, Lucia, YOU wrote the book. You, and no one else."

"How COULD he?" Carolyn dashed the tears from her eyes, uncaring of the Captain's regard. "He's taking away her choice by making it

all a dream!"

"I suppose he thinks, and rightly so, I might add, that she has already made her choice." the Captain said.

"A book you imagined from his house, from his portrait on the wall, from his gear lying around in every room." Suddenly, as if on impulse, the Captain leaned down again, his face barely an inch from hers, and whispered slowly, "It's been a dream, Lucia." His gaze came to linger on her lips, and, for the briefest moment, he seemed about to kiss her. Even in her sleep Lucy sensed his closeness, and tilted her face towards his. Regretfully, he rose, his eyes still on her face.

"Ohhhh," Carolyn groped for a hanky.

With a long-suffering sigh, the Captain passed her one.

"He was so close to kissing her! Did you see that she wanted it, even though she was unaware? This is so beautiful ... so romantic ..." Carolyn patted her eyes.

"So female, to be thus affected ..." the Captain concluded dryly.

"And in the morning, and the years after, you'll only remember it as a dream. And it will die - as all dreams must die - in waking."

"No, it can't ... how could he do that to her? How COULD he?" Carolyn sniffed. "I would HATE it if you ever did that ... made me think you were a dream!"

"I will attempt to remember that." the Captain murmured. "Please, my dear, remember, as you have been so fond of reminding me throughout this movie, that it is merely fiction!"

The Captain walked briskly to the bow window, preparing to leave. But, abruptly, he turned to look at her once more. "How you'd have loved the North-Cape, the Fiords in the midnight sun." His voice rose with emotion. "To sail across the reef at Barbados, where the blue water turns to green. To the Falklands, where a southerly gale rips the whole sea white! What we've missed, Lucia." His voice dropped, filled with anguished regret. "What we've BOTH missed."

The Captain started. "No one heard what I said ... how did he know?"

"I beg your pardon?" Carolyn blinked at him. "What YOU said?"

"Oh, nothing." he said hastily. "There he goes..."

Slowly, he began to fade, dissolving into nothing. With a last tender gaze, he said quietly, "goodbye - m'darling." And he was gone. As Lucy slept on, the balcony door swung closed, and she was alone.

Carolyn's tears flowed again. What would SHE do if the Captain ever decided to leave her? And why didn't she want him to go? It

would save her trouble in the long run. A rush of answers whirled in her mind, most of them half-formed -- because he was so ... so ...

magnificent and she wanted to be near him. Because he had touched something in her that had been dead for a very long time, and made it

alive again. Because ...

"My dear, please pull yourself together! You know how I hate to see a woman in tears." the Captain interrupted her thoughts. Carolyn

looked up at him, tears sparkling in her eyes, making them seem greener than ever in the firelight. She looked so woebegone, and so

beautiful that he clenched his fists and forced himself to look away for a moment. Then he pulled himself together and looked back at her.

"You must see that it was for the best for both of them. How could he bear to stay and watch her live with that miserable worm ... in his

own house? You said he looked hurt. Why would he deliberately court MORE pain? And Lucia had been quite clear. She may have felt something for that Captain, but she wanted someone real. Someone she

could kiss in the orchard. Someone to make her feel dizzy, and to

make her think that ignoring her daughter and her duty was the right thing to do."

Carolyn smiled, although it wavered somewhat. "You're just saying that to make me stop crying, aren't you, Captain? You don't REALLY believe it."

"Did it work?"

Carolyn wiped her eyes again. "I suppose." Then she looked at him. "But I am not entirely sure I agree with you OR your logic."

"Maybe we should save this discussion for another time. Look, the movie is beginning again."

"I can't imagine what can happen now. She'll marry that blasted seaslug and be miserable for the rest of her life." Carolyn said, glumly.

The Captain grinned, but said nothing. He may not approve of such language in a lady, but he definitely approved of the spunk she

showed!

Lucy sat at her desk, wearing a flowery, spring outfit, and reading a letter. "It's about the book I've written" she said to Martha, who was standing nearby. "....Our cheque for one hundred pounds advance royalties, as you requested......"

Martha looked up in surprise. "You mean they paid you good money for THAT?"

"Perhaps it is just as well we did not get to hear part of the book." the Captain commented.

"Martha!" Lucy was startled. "Have you been reading my book?"

"I'm suppose to dust in 'ere, and what falls under me eye falls under me eye."

"I'm surprised at you. It's like eavesdropping."

"I'm surprised at YOU." Martha retorted. "Such language! Lumme!

"I KNEW I liked this Martha! No lady would ever use such language!" the Captain grinned at Carolyn who grimaced at him, then smiled.

Lucy smoothed down her dress. "Well, if you're writing about a sea captain, you have to use the sort of language HE would use."

"'E'd have had a hard time living up to your idea of 'im." Martha said, dryly.

"I DO wish we had heard some of it." Carolyn said, impulsively. "I wonder just what she made him out to be? Would it have been like your Memoirs, do you think?"

"I was very singular, my dear. No one else, especially an imposter Captain Daniel Gregg, could ever be as magnificent as I was..."

"Shh! Lucy's saying something."

"Mr. Sproule wants me to come to London to sign a few papers, but I can't leave here now, just when......"

Martha frowned. "Just when WHAT?"

Lucy smiled, placidly. "I'm expecting Mr. Fairley, we're having a picnic."

"You mean 'E is."

"I heard you, Martha!" Lucy said, sharply. "Please remember that I'm going to marry him."

"Yes'm."

"Martha does not sound too convinced, does she?" the Captain said.

Lucy looked critically at the paintings on the wall, and a shadow passed over her face. "By the way, I've been thinking we might put that painting of Captain Gregg up in the attic."

"What?" the Captain spluttered.

"Don't you like it anymore?"

"It was a silly idea to hang it in here. I don't know what possessed me....." Lucy's voice trailed off. "Atmosphere, I suppose."

"I know what possessed you!" Carolyn murmured.

"Yes'm. I'll hang it in my room, if you don't mind."

Lucy looked at Martha in surprise. "Of course not."

"Per'haps you can get Uncle Neddy to paint you one of 'imself instead." Martha suggested, sarcastically, going out.

"Martha!" Lucy said to the closed door.

The Captain and Carolyn both chuckled.

With a sigh, Lucy went back to her desk, and started her letter to Mr. Sproule, murmuring as she wrote. Suddenly, Martha came back in, thrusting a letter at Lucy. "A boy brought a note for you."

Lucy took it eagerly, and tore it open. Martha stood watching over her shoulder. "A billet deux, I dare say."

Lucy glared at Martha briefly, then quickly read the note. "Oh! How terrible! Mr. Fairley has been called up to London for a few days."

"What's so terrible about that?" Martha said, sweeping out of the room.

"Not a thing. Glad he shoved off." the Captain said.